OCTOBER 25

1939 Started revising “Slipping Beauty” at 6:30 – had to read it in cr. Writing to-night. – went over okay. – We had to wait for Ray to bring the car back. – All Carp can talk about is the brainchild… “Picampus”

1940 2:00 OH GOOD, GOOD… BED, HOME, AND STUFF – ALMOST HATED TO LEAVE – KIDS LIKE BRICK MAKE ME WANT TO STAY – (GEE, HE IS PRACTICALLY AS OLD AS LEONARD) BOB, EMIL + L. CAME OVER AFTER THE GAME TONIGHT, STAYED LATE… I LOVE THEM… ALL I GET FROM LEONARD IS INNUENDOS… HE TOUCHED MY HAND FOR A MOMENT… WILL HE EVER RELENT?

1941 Sat Low-ebb – then Jo called… We went out to school + confided in the Art Room over cokes + potato chips. Lovely afternoon spent on the Civic Theater’s “sets” –foo

1942

1943

OCTOBER 15

1939 1:30 Inevitably tomorrow brings reality + its immediate problems – Managed to make the Philo-Web alumnae breakfast. Came home + slept till time for tea. – Wore my formal for last time for awhile – I hope. Went out for a picnic – Donna + I talked till 1:30. I like her so much!

1940 11:00 Well, I lasted. Went pretty good… Is this all going to be “clawing up a cliff” like this? – God, I hope not. – I feel like it would be a good deal if they would let me snooker out between semesters if that job works out in Minneapolis – Gee, I wish it would! – Grades recorded tonight – What a mess!

1941 Wed Creative Wr. – Krause got off on a tangent. Wilber + Emil insisted on walking all the home w/ me.

1942 THURS

1943 FRI I WENT TO THE PROM ON THE Prairie State WITH VIC… IT RILLY NICE… GEE, THOSE BOYS LOOKED SO CLEAN, SO YOUNG, SO good. I FEEL POOHED OUR… VIC GOT OUT OF WEEK-END WATCH BY TELLING THE C.O. THAT “HIS GIRL WAS COMING FROM SOUTH DAKOTA!” IMAGINE… AND, WHAT’S MORE, I WAS INTRODUCED TO HIM IN THAT CAPACITY! MY FEET ARE A MESS. HEARD FROM KRIK.

OCTOBER 12

1939 11:30 We went down and tried few coats on at Wermuth’s afterwards, we went out to school + coked ate the huddle – Helped Bob + Leonard + Ruth on the stage till 5:00 B + L wanted to go to show Eleanor leaves day after tomorrow

1940 2:30 Gee, this seems normal, now. – (I wish I could sleep about 14 hrs) I am sick I’m so tired… My day was a trifle unsuccessful… Gee, I don’t know what was the matter. I guess it’s another case of over-anticipation… We lost our H. game… Hugo gave speech at the banquet tonight I had 2 chances for dates – But not with L.

1941 Sun – Serene – I know it isn’t all worn out – Leonard + Emil + D.J. + I went on a picnic –

1942 MON

1943 TUES FINISHED UP THE DAMN’ MARKET CALLS; DOROTHY STARTED ME RIGHT OUT WRITING CAPTIONS… I GET SO MAD and I SHOULDN’T, I KNOW…

OCTOBER 1

1939 Sun. And I swore I would never spend another Sunday like this one! – The moon came up yellow and full. It didn’t hurt so badly when it got higher + was paler. –

1940 12:30 MY GOLLY, HERE I’M NOT THROUGH CORRECTING THOSE DAMN TESTS YET… I’LL NEVER GET CAUGHT UP! – A VISIT FROM MR. C. TODAY. I WAS OVERRUN WITH FEARS + TREPIDATIONS! – BUT ALL WAS OKAY… LANDED IN MLLE AGAIN. LOOKED PRETTY GOOD… TODAY WAS PRETTY SUCCESSFUL FOR A CHANGE!

1941 (Mlle, this year, is without me.) – It looks as if I will have enough time this year to really make something of myself! – (Can I do it?) Went to Cr. Wr. – Emil, Bill Wilbur + I went to Looks – fun

1942 THURS LEONARD AND JOHN AND BOB CAME BY TONIGHT AND TOOK ME DOWN TO Look’s WITH THEM… WE ABSORBED BOB BERG and BOB RIEF, too… LEONARD GOT QUITE A SHOCK, I GUESS; DIDN’T SUSPECT I KNEW ANY “RIVAL” MATERIAL! WE TALKED and TALKED – Hemingway + hunger + company

1943 FRI OH GOD, HERE WE GO AGAIN! – PART OF HIM I LOATHE, PART I LIKE… I HOPE SOME REAL ISSUE ARISES THAT WE DIFFER UPON… WE SAW “TOMORROW THE WORLD” AND WENT DOWN TO THE VANGUARD… GAVE SOME MORE BLOOD TO THE RED CROSS. BOUGHT JOHN’S GIFT, FINALLY. ACCOMPLISHED A LITTLE. SAW VIC FOR A WHILE. Heard from Mother + Leonard.

SEPTEMBER 12

1939 Dammit! Every time the phone rings I think its Ray. – Saw him to-day out at school. – He came up behind me and practically bowled me over! – I thought he had left town. – I was quite nice to him; but apparently not nice enough?

1940 11:00 Not even a boring teachers institute could spoil the wonderful way I feel… Its completely inexplicable… Saw Wyman + Ansel – again I was literally shaking I was so happy to see someone I wish I could have talked to them more… I hope I feel this way all year – Dear Leonard Dear Bob Dear Emil!

1941 Fri Techniques wasn’t nearly as terrifying as I had expected. Its going to be a fun class. Leonard only missed on in the test.

1942 SAT OH ECSTASY! – I’M HAPPY; PHENOMENAL, AFTER BEING absolutely ABYSOMAL THIS MORNING… JOHN and I PICKED OUT BOB PRESINCK for PEGGY… HOPE SHE LIKES IT… WENT OVER TO SEE HER, THEN, later, BOB, LEONARD and BILL CAME OVER… LEONARD and I TALKED * BETTER.

1943 SUN We went to Worthington to see Jeannie. She is more beautiful than ever. Will have her baby in a few weeks. She thinks well of Leonard… John drove us up – back in the rain. Here, afterward, we had coffee, sandwiches, + cake… We had so little time alone together. Oh God.

SEPTEMBER 11

1939 MON – Helped 2 “little” sisters register out at school to-day. I only hope I do as well for myself! – Marie told me that Ray asked about me Sat. night (He was at the dance) – She really emphasized the fact that she’d seen me out at all the dances.

1940 11:30 Yes, thank God, they did come! – After I had given up all hope, they rallied in about 6:00… I was actually shaking I was so happy. It was so good to see them! – We didn’t really do anything. I took them to dinner, we rode around… showed them my room… we ate popcorn (sitting 4 across in C’s car) + etc… Glad!!

1941 Thur Convocation – I almost didn’t sit on the stage with the faculty! Emil played Bach for Bob + me after lunch – He’s a darling.

1942 FRI GEE, WHAT A mixed-up DAY… WE DIDN’T GET STARTED UNTIL 10:30 – my FAULT… MRS. C IS marvelous! – I’LL CERTAINLY LOOK HER UP IF I’M GOING TO BE IN Mlps! … LEONARD CALLED – WE and A PHONEY R. CORBER WENT TO SEE John K.

1943 SAT We are right + perfect for one another, I know… We went to the dance for just a little while… Magic on the porch… Alone together (He could have me any time he wished)… Met Marie this noon for lunch. Then Leonard. We washed our hair. – such intimate pleasure. His back is so beautiful, so brown, so smooth.

SEPTEMBER 10

1939 SUN I went to church this morning (I’m going to go all the time) – Sari + I went bike riding I wore my new slacks – Saw Leonard. – Was over to Marjorie’s to-night.

1940 11:30 B-R-R-R – really turning cold – Gee, no “in between” weather at all… It seems like every minute in the day is filled for me – at school by 8:00 – till 6:00 – study from 8:30 – 11:30 – I bet I’ll get sick of this grind… I wonder if Jo + Bob + L will come tomorrow?

1941 Wed Registration… Emil’s here. Met Wilbur Haare…

1942 THURS (WHO’S AT THE HEAD of HIS CLASS IN MB. CORPS) WELL, I CAN WRITE radio SCRIPT IF I PLEASE MR. Witmer WITH SOME SAMPLE STUFF; (MIGOSH… COULD I TURN OUT one A DAY?) … HE HAD ME RE-WRITE ONE of HIS! – IT WAS A STRAIN… MISSED MY BUS… WILL RIDE HOME WITH A Ms. C… WAS IN A BLACKOUT… LONESOME

1943 FRI Spitznagels took us to dinner… a very fine meal. Then we saw Ren + family. The Eides… it was good. We drove out to Elmwood. There was music in the night… Time did not exist for us. We know one another well.

AUGUST 24

1939 12:30 – Cleaned the house up + helped mother with a chocolate cake. – Had Nessa, Marguerite + Sara over for “bridge” – We sat + listened to war bulletin most of the time –

1940 2:30 One of life’s minor tragedies – lost my Elgin – Something always jinxes when I go out with Hunk – I suppose I’ve had my share of luck for a while – I hope losing my watch was all the bad luck I’ll have for a little while

1941 Sun Mr. Spitznagel + Betty + I went up to Okiboji… It saved the day for me – We saw some very lovely homes. I called Leonard, he wasn’t home.

1942 MON MAYBE I’M “JUSTIFYING MY EXISTENCE” a LITTLE MORE PAINTED today. [TOOK ALL MORNING TO MIX PAINTS] AND TONIGHT, AFTER TAKING A BAWTH, + GETTING READY for BED, I WROTE TO Del AND Emil…

1943 TUES 

AUGUST 10

1939 1:00  I had my fortune told to night – Queer woman… crazy house… She saw some very nice things about me in the cards – success – happiness – love – money. – She said I would never be content with just domestic tranquility… Saw 2 marriages!

1940 Had a very super time at the dance with Hunk. My friend Bill didn’t call on a Sat night again (His car was in though) I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye to Emil.

1941 Sun At home! – quiet (too quiet, no Leonard) fried chicken, white tablecloth, ice in the glasses! – ah. People kept coming over all morning. Saw Sari tonight – a few people.

1942 MON 2:15 WENT TO Sonny Durham. GEE IT WAS A SWELL BAND; I WAS UNACCOUNTABLY DEPRESSED, however * LEONARD IS so young – GEE, I’LL NEVER FIND ANYONE I ENJOY DANCING WITH more… HE’S INTENSE + … I GOT MY HAIR DONE. WAS LAZY all DAY.

1943

JULY 25

1939 Virginia + I can waste a very enjoyable evening together – talked out in back + then went for a ride – (I have to push a little out at school, But I’m getting results)

1940 Thurs Worked today – Spitznagel took me out to Fosters’ – I was relieved to see they weren’t all finished and waiting for me – I should be sacked indefinitely, for wasting so much time – very disgusted

1941 Mike isn’t home yet – tsk, tsk. Too M G is fun so far – all morning and all afternoon rehearsing – swimming (cold) eat – shower – rush – Woods Hole – performance – home – talk – bed – (should write to Eleanor!)

1942 SAT CUT OUT MY PINAFORE… POO-EY… TO YOU, Mister PAYNE [AND I TURNED DOWN DAVEY!] – SHIRLEE AND FRIEND ELIZABETH CAME OVER – BOTH FEELING SORRY FOR THEMSELVES… I PUT ON MY STRIPPED T SHIRT AND WE WENT OUT and ATE ICE CREAM cones.

1943 SUN WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL DINNER – BROILERS. ICE CREAM, BROWNIES. I DIDN’T EVEN GO OUTSIDE TODAY. MY ANKLES ARE STILL SWOLLEN. ICK. I FINISHED Point Counter Point. ICK. I TOOK A SHOWER. WROTE Leonard, BILL + Emil…

 

JULY 14

1939 12:30 Eide’s had a party tonight it was a lot of fun – just college kids – we played croquet! – I wore my plaid skirt + white blouse and a black velvet ribbon in my hair.

1940 9:30 My day wasn’t as ruined as it threatened to be last night – rowing upsets me terribly – I had to go outside; prowl around, have a cigarette + be alone about 2:30… This morning told Bill we’d better exclude the activities to the afternoon. – We had a lot of fun biking and drank beer + went swimming… I think I know how to take him

1941 12:45 brr – It is chilly! – Finished dress rehearsal – wrote to Clara + Leonard. Lines R. on the beach this afternoon. Met the new leading man

1942 TUES SWIMMING EMIL WAS HERE, ON FURLOUGH. WE ALL HAD LUNCH TOGETHER DOWN AT THE Chocolate SHOP… [ME + 7 MEN!] HE HAS MADE THE TRANSITION BEAUTIFULLY… I’M PROUD of HIM.

1943 WED I HAD NO IDEA THE EVENING WOULD BE SO INTERESTING [OR LAST SO LONG] “BILL” (DON’T KNOW HIS LAST NAME) AN EX- SWOON SINGER IN THE MERCHANT MARINE! WE HAD DINNER ON THE TERRACE, TALKED MUSIC, BILL SANG, COCKTAILS, CENTRAL PARK

JUNE 28

1939 Wednesday Drew sketches all day – I feel sort of lonesome tonight – I would like to have a date again. I read a book + listened to the fight tonight. It is the folks 34th anniversary + Dad isn’t even here!

1940 Friday… I talked with Mr. Epply today… My shot at interior decorating seems to be forthcoming – (Spitznagel is so darn marvelous to me) I was dead all day… We all took stuff over + ate at Farragher’s tonight… It is remarkable how the girls have remained together…

1941 Sat 1:30 Damn! – remind me not to be “generous’ with a man again! – I’m afraid someone else is cutting in on me… He looked very nize – Walked this aft to Mike Cisney on the beach + danced with Mr. Waldron tonight. Too bad they’re married!

1942 SUN 3:00 Gee, I FEEL awful. MOTHER DISCOVERED I WASN’T IN, AND CAME DOWN… I WAS ASHAMED OF MYSELF, yet I’D DO IT RIGHT OVER AGAIN… AT LEAST WE GOT SOME TALKING DONE (JUST MORE CONFUSING, rilly). HE + Wilber CAME OVER ABOUT 11:00. I’M PRETTY UPSET, I guess… WROTE TO EMIL.

1943 MON Oh God – I didn’t want it to happen this way! – first a card from New Orleans – saying he was going to West Coast (Embarkation?) – Then from Houston – no “ – Thank Heaven for that, anyhow… Mrs. Stote is sweet.

 

JUNE 25

1939 12:15 – to-day – Eleanor telephoned from Chicago – she can have a job there – It would be awful without her – but probably her best bet – Mr. Eide phoned this aft. - + my job is fixed! – I’m so glad. – Talked with H. Richards. So much has happened.

1940 1:00 Tues Well – we finished at 5 this afternoon! – It isn’t so hot either… We plan to read it tomorrow night to Bob, Emil, Leonard + Del in the back yd, after a picnic supper. Now Bob can’t come. I didn’t like his attitude… Too Bad we can’t ask Bill. But that would be messy!

1941 HAD fun today – little leery about things this morning (especially $125!) But I guess its all okay. Went swimming with a very nice fella – sort of a date tonight – Good Night – I have a part

1942 Thurs. Leonard is absolutely WILD. Would not leave until I kissed him goodnight (for about the 5^th time)He + Wilber both were at the door Thought he’d gone! – Talked w/ V.R.N.

1943 FRI Oh God, what a day. One of the worst I’ve ever had… I’ll never do anything in the Art Dept again! – Mrs. Stote was wonderful. I talked to Herman + got just as much understanding as I expected. We saw H.M.S. Pinafore. Had beer + corned beef sandwiches.

JUNE 19

1939 1:15 – And I thought I wasn’t going to the dance! – Egad – A 6 ft blond from N. Dakota – Sara’s friend – And I saw Ray! And was he bowled over – I hope he was duly impressed – Everyone was there

1940 12:00 Bob, Leonard, Emil + I went to My S. My Son this afternoon… I went out to school… at last had the opportunity to tell Leonard that what he wrote in my Edda was the nicest thing that has ever happened to me… He bolted before I could say the rest; he was floored, I think – + a little scared… I talked to Kenny

1941 Minneapolis – Bob. Mr. Witmer – swell – okay Joe – told me to go to New York! – said I could do anything I wanted to! Still think I want to be at Auggie n. yr.

1942 Fri * Made Kay ok posters all day. La- de-da. While I was at Bernie H’s recital, Mother entertained R.H.#, L + B. I brought John + D.J. back for coke + ice cream

1943 SAT Wow! Jarv certainly hasn’t changed! He was over this afternoon… He now weighs 210!… Baked a cake, cleaned the apartment very well (+ was duly appreciated) Stayed up late washing my hair + ironing.

JUNE 15

1939 Thursday – After almost a week – a date – it wasn’t the same – Felt awful all day – no ambition – “Dodge City”

1940 2:00 Saturday – Played tennis – hot swell (I won’t wear that new pantie girdle to play in anymore!) Ate lunch with Jean V. talked with Emil + Leonard… Emil wanted me to break my date w/ Bill to go on a picnic tomorrow… Date w/ Spence

1941 June 16 – Oh hell – 2 days left – talked w/ Mr. Eide – I guess I’ll have to go to M! – Will I be at Auggie? – I’m getting a little more nerve about Plymouth

1942 Mon 12:45 – I had a date with Joe Johnson tonight. He is swell, but slightly alien to my nature, I’m afraid. In a way, I hope you called Leonard. In a way – not.

1943 TUES GEE, I’M TIRED… N-H-H-H-G. [PEARL GETS ALL THE PHONE calls!] … JARV DIDN’T call… HOPE HE HASN’T BEEN SHIPPED, yet. I HAVEN’T GOT STRENGTH FOR ANYTHING BUT BED. WROTE Leonard  LETTER ABOUT July Fourth… I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

 

JUNE 11

1939 (9th) Friday Felt awful this morning. – Later Mother + I went down-town… new dress – very “grown-up” – Met Eleanor+ Rosalind at bank… lunch down town… shopped… erased pencil lines from Mr.E’s stars + put my name on the wall, which Mr. S. supervised  - Ray + I saw “Dark Victory”

1940 11:30 I think maybe I better talk to Emil tomorrow – otherwise I’ll soon be ripe for a psychopathic ward I was just about back to normal today and then tonight I had to tell Nessa the whole thing + I’m again a mental mess! - … Early this morning I had the most perfect dream. Everything was perfect!

1941 Well, my room is all clean + so are most of my clothes. I have about a week, now, to get ready – How can I do it?) Mother + I went up + saw Bob + Mrs. Feeney

1942 Thurs D.J. + John came over to talk about picnic. So did Peggy… Decided Nothing. John + I lay out on the grass this aft. and took turns saying Hell.

1943 FRI Gee, Sometimes I can hardly hear Herman.. I feel a million miles away. I resent him, really – feel terribly hypocritical…Sometime, I’m going to get angry with him + show it. We went to dinner – saw Action in N.W. 

MAY 22

1939 Mon 11:40 - Everything is swell - The frogs are croaking outside - It is cool and breezy... I accomplished nothing except a new pair of shoes today - Ray + I read Ogden Nash on the lawn this aft. - tonight I was already for bed + he came after me his sister was going to ship a little collie to Nebraska. We went out of town + picked it up. It was so small.

1940 Wed All school picnic - ha! - Clara + I spent the day giving out on The Girls. We barely finished in time to read the raw product in class. It went over. Mr. K was quite overcome after class at our leaving (Clara + Me) - 

1941 11:30 Hold your breath, kid - I think we're on the last stretch! - Finally got all the place cards printed - Under pressure - Senior Class play tomorrow

1942 Friday At least I got a whole slew of clothes washed today... Emil enlisted in the navy... Wilber got his notice for a physical. Peggy got a job... Chuck Harris was on Make Island! D.J. + I went for a ride

1943 SAT We went to a Party thrown by the American Newspaper Guild... People were singularly unimpressive! - H danced with me! - not badly, either. - Carmen Amaya + a hypnotist - floor-showed. The apt. is beautiful. Lois + Sully are to see it tomorrow, I hope. Lunch w/ Donna

MAY 8

1939 10:45 Mon. Why must there be Mondays?Payed another $10 on my tuition still gobs left to pay. Ray called - 

1940 11:30 Wed. - I had lunch with Jean V. - She has let go something I didn't expect to hear - She is such It means a lot. I know now I can quit Bill - he means absolutely nothing to me.

1941 Thurs. another one of the same. All I care about is sleep. Must be an escape complex! Finally heard from Eleanor + got a card from Bob. He + Emil + Leonard maybe will be in Minneapolis - Just my luck

1942 Layout on campus all afternoon with Shirley - got slightly sunburned. D.J. + I mailed a letter (wrote to E) Gee, another week-end coming up -

1943 SAT Why oh why did I eat all that stuff? Ahh. Donna's birthday party at Barnard. I felt a little "older" - and was but enjoyed it... Knocked myself out shopping this afternoon. Gloves, blouse, dress, stationary, gift for Eleanor. Came home + washed all my clothes and my hair too. Ain't I a good girl?

APRIL 14

1939 11:50 Well, chum, we haven't written a speech yet... I hope I think of something... I went to Shakespeare + wrote last week's + this week's tests - Julius Caesar and H.V. - worked from one to 5:00 - I got paid today. - $7.20! - Looked all over for some sandals - no go - Ray called up twice - He brought me home from out at school.

1940 Sunday - We worked up at school this aft... Bill came out... Leonard + Emil came over... Bill + I went out to Lake Alvin - rising half moon - portable radio - blanket - hillside... Everything but the Elements added up to Romance! Although he certainly has what it takes.

I ruined Leonard's "hose". Bill promised to buy me another pair.

1941 Well AGAIN we fill in Chicago in retrospect... back in reality again, today. Not-so-terribly harsh reality... (Damn! - Tom Halton called down at the Pantry this noon! - Damn me for saying yes!) Called Mother tonight... Washed hair, clothes + finally! - me -

1942 Tues Bob Gable brought me home. I was supposed to do some painting, but class lasted too long. - Emil is disconcerting - 

1943 Wed a mere line from Leonard - but satisfying... A long letter from Don in New Guinea. Felt awful all most all today Typed up A+S report... Felt Better tonight. Mickey + I went to a foolish movie. Pegs bathing.

APRIL 6

1939 10:50 - It was Ray's birthday today - I got up about 8:00 - cleaned house + washed clothes. 2:15 - Ray, Mick + I went out shooting. - " must be doing his celebrating by himself! But that's his affair.

1940 Sat 3:00 Well, worked all day made a small dent in that copy... Took Bob out tonight 6 of us + Jennifer went to movie + had a midnight picnic Leonard is more attractive than I'll admit.

1941 Sun. Damn you, Payne... For more than a year I've been waiting for you to call me up on your own - + then after choir concert, you have to bring Bob in on it! - I always want what I can't have

1942 (It was... I spose I should have said where I was, I didn't) - Floated around all day - still HAPPY. - we went out to the airport + met Emil on 8:30 plane fun. He upsets me, though - 

1943 Tues Mickey + I went to Streets of London tonight... I wasn't so tired today, but I shook before dinner tonight. I guess we ought to sleep more. Wrote incoherently to Leonard.