AUGUST 24

1939 12:30 – Cleaned the house up + helped mother with a chocolate cake. – Had Nessa, Marguerite + Sara over for “bridge” – We sat + listened to war bulletin most of the time –

1940 2:30 One of life’s minor tragedies – lost my Elgin – Something always jinxes when I go out with Hunk – I suppose I’ve had my share of luck for a while – I hope losing my watch was all the bad luck I’ll have for a little while

1941 Sun Mr. Spitznagel + Betty + I went up to Okiboji… It saved the day for me – We saw some very lovely homes. I called Leonard, he wasn’t home.

1942 MON MAYBE I’M “JUSTIFYING MY EXISTENCE” a LITTLE MORE PAINTED today. [TOOK ALL MORNING TO MIX PAINTS] AND TONIGHT, AFTER TAKING A BAWTH, + GETTING READY for BED, I WROTE TO Del AND Emil…

1943 TUES 

AUGUST 22

1939 10:30 – Worked on lay-outs – It’s cool as October – Was over to Bailin’s to cut “ad”. I’m eating too much!

1940 Managed to “escape” myself a little today – Went to a show w/ Blossom this aft the Fair w/ Donna + Hunk (Bill called + wanted to go to the FAIR!- ha)

1941 Fri Gee, to have Leonard come, and I should meet him with inadequacy. If only I could just forget myself – I felt I had not helped him at all. Bought a coat, went to a picnic up to Feeneys

1942 SAT DARLING, YOU WERE SO TERRIBLY TIRED; WE CERTAINLY DIDN’T GETanything SAID TO EACH OTHER… I WAS A LITTLE strained, I’M AFRAID… AND sorry FOR THE WAY I ACTED yesterday… I’M IN NEED of REASSURANCE

1943 SUN

AUGUST 18

1939 1:30 The folks came home in time for dinner… I took the ad over + sold it - $3.50 ! (I’ll buy the pink sweater!) Marguerite + I have been talking – I found out some things I’m not sure I want to know.

1940 10:30 I ate outrageously today + did little else but that. Finished the Brothers Karamazov. Did not get my letters written. Marg + Sara came over. Mr. C. did not call!

1941 Mon 9:00 And I’m going to bed feel vaguely awful. Drew. Hunk didn’t call again about the dance (thank goodness) Neither did anyone else.

1942 TUES I HAD A DATE WITH Stan MCCORMICK… WE CERTAINLY TALK EASILY TOGETHER… HE always GETS SO CONFIDENTIAL! – I’M sorry “AS MUCH” HAPPENED AS DID… damn. I GUESS I’D BETTER join  A CONVENT…

1943 WED

AUGUST 17

1939 Ah, the irony of it all! Eleanor + I have supposedly “reducing” all wk. – Every day we eat excessively for some reason or other – to-night Ed was over for dinner – Steak + potatoes – Egad!

1940 2:00 Hunk is so sweet; but so inept at times – broke the key off in the door of the Packard out to the dance – We came home with Hank + Betty and got the Ford which is I love for such a gallant creature. Had fun.

1941 Sun (Still no Leonard!) Saw Virginia tonight… she is amazingly thin. Didn’t get any sketching done, again. It rained. I tried to sleep this aft.

1942 MON LEONARD TOOK ME TO dinner… WE DIDN’T TALK… HE WAS TO MEET Harold + BILL OUT AT SCHOOL. BOB BERG CAME HOME WITH ME AND WE TALKED. I’M PRACTICALLY unconscious I’M SO TIRED…

1943 TUES.

AUGUST 16

1939 12:00 Lazy day – wrote about 3 words of my “ad” – (God, - I’ve got to finish that!) Went with Eleanor to Grace’s for a handkerchief shower for J.C.  We had onion soup this noon!

1940 I am just furious – I thought I had a date with Bill tonight… He did not call.. And I could have gone to the circus w/ Hunk – Wilmer got me up at 5:30 to watch it unload I cooked dinner tonight!

1941 Sat Eleanor + I smoothed up the house, started to play badminton with D.J., but we listed to records onaccounta rain. E + I were alone

1942 SUN [THANK God, I DIDN’T RELENT AND LET THAT soldier KISS ME]… I WAS NUMBED ALL DAY.. I COULDN’T SPEAK TO DAD. I’M SURE IT’S BEST if WE NEVER discuss IT… I WALKED OUT TO SCHOOL and STARTED TO WRITE A LETTER; MR. EIDE came OUT, SO WE TALKED… HE’S SWELL… VIRGINIA ASKED ME OVER TO HELP ENTERTAIN THE army.

1943 MON

AUGUST 12

1939 1:15 Went to the dance tonight – Fun… I was dying to do something – Janice got me the date – My 2^nd experience in a bar – a coke for me!

1940 2:00 Tonight I went to the dance with Hunk – Too many people, muddy floor – Hot – But Hunk always has a good time! – My feet hurt + I’m tired – But not deliciously tired like I was about 20 minutes ago.

1941 Tues Ardis came from Chicago to see Eleanor. Poor gal, she can’t have any time to herself. We had a picnic this afternoon + went to Escape

1942 WED “DO YOU LOVE ME?” – Darling, I was glad you asked me, I might not have said it, otherwise. MIGOSH, how we torture ourselves… I doubt that anyone else will ever make love to me – quoting the SONG of SONGS… I’m afraid no-one can make me feel the way he does

1943 THURS 

AUGUST 11

1939 12:00 Started on the dummy of the yearbook today – I’m not as scared as I was. Mr. Bailin asked me to write the ad for the newspaper another element of the new shop! I’m glad… We played bridge at Terry’s

1940 1:15 Perhaps it would have been less dangerous to have gone out w/ Bill tonight (or Hunk) Howard took pictures this morning + we ran them tonight… He said he wished the 1940 Edda were to do over! My God.

1941 12- I hope I’ve done the right thing. I’ve decided to stay at Auggie. Talked w/ Mr. Eide + Granskau. They were so swell. I have a lot to live up to… Leonard’s brother was killed in Chicago. I feel so bad… He is away..

1942 11:00 GEE, Baby, WE DIDN’T DO MUCH with TODAY * WENT SWIMMING with DAVID… (date for thurs.) GOT BURNED – VAMPED A 4 yr OLD BOY… WENT out TO SCHOOL; DIDN’T see MISTER PAYNE

1943 WED

AUGUST 10

1939 1:00  I had my fortune told to night – Queer woman… crazy house… She saw some very nice things about me in the cards – success – happiness – love – money. – She said I would never be content with just domestic tranquility… Saw 2 marriages!

1940 Had a very super time at the dance with Hunk. My friend Bill didn’t call on a Sat night again (His car was in though) I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye to Emil.

1941 Sun At home! – quiet (too quiet, no Leonard) fried chicken, white tablecloth, ice in the glasses! – ah. People kept coming over all morning. Saw Sari tonight – a few people.

1942 MON 2:15 WENT TO Sonny Durham. GEE IT WAS A SWELL BAND; I WAS UNACCOUNTABLY DEPRESSED, however * LEONARD IS so young – GEE, I’LL NEVER FIND ANYONE I ENJOY DANCING WITH more… HE’S INTENSE + … I GOT MY HAIR DONE. WAS LAZY all DAY.

1943

AUGUST 6

1939 11:30 I’ve finally found out the best way to escape responsibilities is to face them! Finally settled down + made a few sketches for G. – However I don’t want to be a comic strip artist. (Whoever it was called last night did not call tonight!)

1940 11:45 Hunk + I went up to Del Rapids to the dance… I can’t understand the boy – he is so nice. I don’t know why he dates someone as quiet + dopey as I was tonight – Guess I’m getting on in years…

1941 Wed Saw Mus. of M.A.A. – Met Igor P – Migosh whata night. – I was deluged with attention (must have been lack of competition) John M. promised to write me – wonder if he will? ?

1942 THURS WOW… BUT I’M tired… COULDN’T EVEN DO THOSE BLAME DISHES… HAD GELS over FOR DINNER… NESSA, SHIRLEE, PEGGY and D.J… IT WAS A DARN GOOD MEAL… WORE  my WHITE PINAFORE and FELT DOMESTIC… STITCHED A SEAM or TWO… PINKED ‘EM tonight… EXPECTED THE FELLAS TO come OVER; DIDN’T…

1943 FRI.

JULY 29

1939 Sat 12:15 Was “dummy” through practically a whole evening of bridge this evening at Peggy’s – ate popcorn + coke. And I do want to be thin this fall!

1940 9:45 I’m determined to lose 10 pounds – (I’m hungry right now, going up to the lake yesterday shot the balance of that 5 lbs right to pieces… Hell. The irony- of- it-all – Hunk didn’t call about the dance again – He must have been utterly crushed the other night. Bill called tonight. I said no go.

1941 12:00 Waited tables this morning 7:45 – after 4 hrs of sleep. – Fun!  - Getting to know everyone now it’s time to leave! Show went very well tonight. Gee, Mr. Cisney is grand!

1942 WED WAS OVER TO PEGGY’S TO MEET THE Sargent SHE WAS RAVING ABOUT… Gee, WHAT A PAIN… AFTER FOUR BOURBON COKES, HOWEVER; I WAS VERY AMIABLE. WE TALKED French, RAPIDLY, AND HE WAS A DARN GOOD DANCER… PEG HAS gobs OF RECORDS… IT STARTED TO Deluge, SO MRS. BELL IN WAS PROPERLY hysterical… I WAS QUITE AMUSED… ha. SAW This Above All; MOTHER HAD “CLUB”-

1943 THURS HAD DINNER WITH Billy + Frank. And WAS GLAD TO; EVEN TOOK OFF MY HOSE TO BETTER ENJOY MYSELF. I FELT FOUL WENT TO THE DOCTOR HAD MY THROAT PAINTED… I GAGGED. WE SAW the FRED WARING SHOW… IT WAS GOOD. PUT RUTH ON THE TRAIN FOR HOME – ha!

JULY 23

1939 I suppose R. will go without saying “good-bye” – I would give anything to tell him straight how things stand. That I’m grateful for  a very swell spring. But that I can’t understand his attitude the past week.

1940 Tues Hunk took me to the dance – I guess I’m getting old, but I was tired – even if it was cool – nice after a storm. About 8:00 – We found the Packard isn’t as dependable as he thought.

1941 Just ate a piece of apple pie Mike brought me… wept through the rehearsal of Cradle Song because I wanted so badly to be in it. I have 2 lines in Too Many Girls – I really wish it were something better… Well, I’ve learned not to “hide my light’ at any rate.

1942 THURS ?

1943 FRI OH LA, WE WENT TO THE BEACH! [ I JUST hope MRS. STOTE DIDN’T CALL!] IT WAS GORGEOUS… BLUE SKY + WHITE SAND. + THE WAVES BREAKING HIGH… I GOT QUITE BADLY BURNED, of course!

 

JULY 18

1939 Tuesday 9:00 I am completely tired out – I slept on the davenport after dinner. Ray came out to school this afternoon – He seemed very unhappy about something –

1940 2:00 Writing this by moonlight – I went to Lawrence Welk with Hunk tonight + thought about Leonard + Bill (I saw a gal in his car waiting for him when we drove past the garage before the dance – the louse – Hunk is so sweet to me… But scared

1941 Hell, one more day without sun + I will go home! At least I got my clothes washed today. Did a few sketches, had dinner with Jim Maxwell, (he took out Sally tonight!) talked with Mina, Donna wrote that Leonard quit at Coles!

1942 SAT 3:00 – PYROTECHNICS! – I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE’D BE THE JEALOUS TYPE… I TOLD HIM ABOUT LEONARD… HE WAS QUITE REVOLTING – IT WAS BROUGHT on BY HIS ASKING FOR A DATE for TOMORROW – WHEN I SAID IT WASN’T Ethical!

1943 SUN WE (AGNES + RUTH BACH) WENT TO RIVERSIDE CHURCH. I ENJOYED IT. I SHALL GO MORE OFTEN. HAD DINNER WITH GLADYS. [Fried chicken liver] + someone who had Wilmer in school! – We went to the Symphony… Brahms… Beautiful… I came home read. nap. that’s all.

JULY 16

1939 Sunday 12:10 After exactly a month – Ray called up - ! He is going to work on the R.R. again – We went to the race in Luverne to-night… I felt rather odd - + didn’t say much… on the way back he asked me if I could possible like him a little, again – He said he couldn’t explain why he hadn’t called me before, etc – It was the old thrill once more –

1940 Painted woodwork, etc today – (If I don’t get to work + make some money - ) Went to N.W. Passage w/ Hunk… He looked so nice tonight – all 200 pounds of him… I thought about B.C. most of the day… wonder if he’s serious… Should I go out w/ him tomorrow ? ? ?

1940 ? Hell, I wish I were home. Got a lousy Cockney Part in Fannie – which is a very dully play – Wish I were in Cradle Song!

1941 THURS WENT TO THE DANCE WITH DAVID… WE WERE ALL OUT SWIMMING – SHIRLEY, BOB, RON, PEGGY – etc. – AND I SAW HIM, THEN… HE’S VERY NICE, I THINK… AND I MUST HAVE made AN IMPRESSION on HIM.

1942 FRI OH DUST + ASHES… I’M INFINITELY DEPRESSED. BUT BETTER, WHEN I CAME HOME AND FOUND A LETTER. HE STILL DOESN’T KNOW! ( I THINK I WORRY MORE THAN HE DOES!) ALL DAY I HURRIED AND DIDN’T GET A CHANCE TO WRITE. 

JULY 11

1939 Marg is going back to the Hills in the morning – she wanted me to go back with them – But I guess I’d better stick to my job – Nessa + Sara + Marg + I ate hamburgers, potato salad – cantoloupe, sundaes in back yard and tonight Saw R. over swimming today

1940 This is killling me (but I love it) they all 3 called tonight! – Bill, the rat, about 8:30 – expecting me to go out with him then – Hunk came in during the conversation – I told Bill to call up his girlfriend of Monday.

1941 (Gee, the moon is perfect tonight… I wonder if Leonard misses me at all? - ) Slept until 10:30 this morning – Washed my hair (at last) Mike + I scrubbed our floor + rehearsed this aft. – broadcast a play tonight – “What a Life”, indeed!

1942 SAT PICNIC… WITH BOB BERG and JOHN and WILBER and BETTY Hervig + D.J. + BILL + Shirlee… WE WENT ON TOP of CACTUS – IT WAS CLEAR and BEAUTIFUL – and MADE ME ACHE FOR LEONARD. D.J. and I PLAYED TENNIS w/ JOHN + WILBER. IT WAS HORRIBLY hot!

1943 SUN There is a vague unrest, an uneasiness within me…! I’m restless, resentfull. What is the matter? – Got up + made French Toast this morning. Went to the Museum. Wore my dress. It’s tight.

JULY 6

1939 This morning Pal awakened me for the last time… He was hit by a car about 7:00 – It was better that he should not have to go through recuperating from a broken paw – he was so old… a part of my life for 15 years – I’m getting pretty bored w/ merely books for company.

1940 2:00 Did some catching up with a phase of my career that I missed when I was young Gee, I had fun… I seem to have made an impression on Hunk… He wants to take me to Lawrence Welk the 8^th – L?) And  - I had fun dancing with Don Forney – attractive brat.

1941 SUN BEACH… BURNED.. BATH; DINNER… REHEARSAL… TALKED WITH DON BUCK… SAID G’B TO MR. WALDRON… MIKE + I WENT WALKING… SANG… CHILLY

1942 11:15 MON LAST WEEK of TEACHING Summer school – (NOW I’LL HAVE TO START THINKING about WHAT I’M GOING TO DO… ) PLAYED 2 SETS of TENNIS w/ WILBER. (HE BEAT ME, of COURSE!) – SHIRLEY HANSON had A PICNIC… NATURALLY, Leonard WOULD WANT TO TAKE ME TO DINNER TONIGHT.

1943 TUES Mrs. Stote, pink + grey, had her purse snatched… I didn’t do much today. No short stories, thank goodness… We couldn’t find Sully’s bag! I was dead + expired on the davenport

 

JULY 4

1939 10:30 Some 4th! – for excitement, I went swimming with Ed + Eleanor ( I did get to talk with Hunk – And washed my hair + finished the Fountain*) * made me realize the beauty of contemplative thought + alone-ness. But also that youth should not stunt itself with asceticism

1940 I sewed + sewed… a red checked tablecloth skirt, white blouse… (I wonder if I have the nerve to wear it to the dance Sat?) – Went to a lousy show with Bill. Who brought me home early! I had a sore throat!

1941 Honest a real talent scout we had with us today – the fencers arrived tonight, too… Plastered on make up in class again (ruining my face) ironed clothes – talked to Hunk about art … Oh well, he has a cold, too.

1942 3! SHIRLEY + BILL + LEONARD + I went to THE DAWNCE… EXQUISITE… I’VE GOT TO “TAKE IT EASIER” – or LEONARD has OR SOMETHING – HE JUST ABOUT BROKE MY BACK TONIGHT… HE WAS NOT VERY conversational… BUT WE HAD A PERFECT TIME… Shirley’s STAYING with ME TONIGHT.

1943 SUN In which I did little. But I did call home! – And glad I did. Mother was terribly surprised – talked to Dad, but Eleanor wasn’t home. Slept this afternoon. We had dinner rather late. Sent Leonard a night letter + wrote

 

JULY 2

1939 Sunday 11:45 We went down to Sioux City today. Took Sara, too – Ate at Bishops + saw Wayne Morris. (I’ll have something to remember Allan by!) ( I died to go swimming all day to show off my new Jantzen)

1940 Well, I’m going to a dance out at Neptune Sat with “Hunk” Anderson… Hope it will be fun… I wonder if Bill will be mad… Took Marie to dinner… Saw Fosters’ home… looked at Carpenter

1941 12:10 I’m getting bored… (there should be more men in this Colony) Mike + I did have fun talking with Mr. Waldron. About his plays No Silver Saints + M. Auc. stops by

1942 THURS HAD M’FORTUNE TOLD BY A STRANGE, AMAZING CREATURE… BEST, MOST ACCURATE, I’VE EVER HAD… SHE SAID I WAS GOING away… WOULD BE successful… THAT I WAS GOING TO GET A PRESENT of JEWELRY… THE PRESENT SHE DESCRIBED PERFECTLY… EVEN A “DARK MAN” - ha… SAID I’D BE MARRIED IN 2 years… Leonard WAS OVER –

1943 FRI It was Bill McCormick who called – He came in at noon. I met him at Penn Station. We had lunch. Talked like crazy… Gave of my blood to R. Cross Bill + I came up to Apt. … Then my cousin Bill took me to dinner.. Over to his apt to hear records then

 

 

APRIL 5

1939 11:10 - I worked from 8 to 10:00 - and from 1:30 to 5:30 - seemed awfully long - I've caught on to the work pretty well, though + it won't be bad. - Tomorrow is Ray's birthday - I wish there were something I could do. We went for a ride after he got out of work - and read funny papers at the "Anchor" Mrs. Fleeny + Bob were over for dinner.

1940 And Tomorrow + Tomorrow ! - Will that copy ever get done? - Clara found out Bill was in the hospital for 3 days this wk. No wonder I had the flu - Bob, Clara + I went swimming

1941 Went to the dance with Hunk. -- Enjoyed myself, though. (The big hulk) Was out at school most of day. Mr. Eide has a $1200 fellowship to Yale for next yr!

1942 11:15 Hope that was you who called... (Think it was) while D.J. + I were out riding. Got up + went to 8 o'clock church... We had Bill + Olga for breakfast... Went to Fleets in - I read more Saroyan - good!... Folks had company for supper...

1943 Mon Heard from Leonard who's okay + Eleanor who's been ill... Went to a couple mfg's show rooms with Mrs. Stote... Wish I were as clever as that gel.

JANUARY 11

1939 11:45 Much tired, but feel much good. V + I talked much too late. Creative Wr. class + worked on paper. - Can I last tomorrow?

1940 11:00 I seem to be getting a bit more efficient... Maybe its an illusion. - but I'm still optimistic - cashed my Mlle check today.

1941 12- SLAVED-

EVEN WORKED

TONIGHT, AT

SCHOOL

FULL MOON- FOOEY

1942 12:30 Gee, absolutely balmy; distinct change (Maybe it will inspire me to change) Sara came over - considering Chicago. Eleanor is coming home, I can't quite believe it. Maybe I'll spend some money tomorrow. Went over to Calls tonight (Unexpectedly enjoyed myself)

1943 12:30 HUNK WANTS ME TO STOP AT CAMP Grant FOR A DAY ON MY WAY, [How AM I GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS one?] GOT MY CHECK, AT LONG LAST - SUPPOSE, IF I HAD SOME FORETHOUGHT, I'D HAVE HAD A BIGGER ONE... LOOKED FOR A COAT; NOT wild ABOUT ANY of 'em.... ELEANOR + PHILLIP + I ENJOYED A LATE DINNER - candles, wine, cigarettes

JANUARY 9

1939 9:45 Not bad, for a Monday - finished Education Reports, typed a letter for Mr. Eide and applied for a job at Beache's - I heard "Mayerling" tonight (also went back to Philos)

1940 11- WELL - I HOPE FREDDIE HASN'T FORGOTTEN ME - IF HE HAS - WHAT THE HELL - VEGETATION WOULD BE PLEASANT - I THINK A VERTEBRAE IS OUT OF PLACE... HEADACHE WITH LEAST EXCUSE - HOPE I CAN SLEEP FOR A CHANGE - (NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART)

1942 Fri - Had 3 teeth filled - Oh joy - Gals all still locked in dormitory We discussed this noon w/ Krause I'm not as pessimistic as he is, anyhow. Hunk was over tonight.

1943 SAT I FELT terrible TODAY... CLUTCHED THE HOT WATER BOTTLE ALL AFT... WE HAD Bill C FOR DINNER [I ---N'T THINK I IMPRESSED HIM ATTAL] ... SALE ---ENT TO THE DANCE; I STILL FELT awful... BUT I THINK I MADE HIM HAPPY, ANYHOW... BUT I hope HE DOESN'T GET ANY ideas