OCTOBER 19

1939 Thurs. – Was up to H.S. to-day. – I adore Lois Cowan… Saw Marg after school. We had cokes in the Huddle + talked about pr. teaching. She has 10 hrs in already. – Marguerite came over to-night, as I didn’t get much done –

1940 12:00 Slaved all day. It was perfectly beautiful out and I begrudged the time I spent inside… Got a box of candy from Eleanor and wedding pictures from Howard… I would give anything to hear from Leonard – I hope I can sleep till about 9:00 it makes me so mad I always wake up about 6:45!

1941 Sun Got home abt 7:00 – Palace, cokes. Went to church w/ Mrs. R. – ate a huge Sunday dinner. – talked w/ Blanche + Allan, Lorraine + Alberta.

1942 MON WE HAD A REHEARSAL tonight AT THE COLISEUM… THOSE BABES RATHER GIVE ME A PAIN; they’re TOO DAMN GOOD LOOKIN’ + CONSEQUENTLY MAKE NO ATTEMPT AT ANYTHING else! V.VOSS BROUGHT ME HOME… Leonard DIDN’T CALL ME…

1943

SEPTEMBER 20

1939 Went to Creative Writing – I guess I’ll be taking it for another year – B. Funey is in the class – Carp + Bob + I listened to B.L. + I.L. fight afterwards

1940 FRI GEE, home again – sleeping with Eleanor – seems almost as if we’d never been gone, really… Dragged her out to school where she met D.Gregory. Saw Howard, Bob, Mr. E. – it rained – we talked

1941 2:00 I AM A HELLUVA GAL… I REVOLT ME… I AM NEVER HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE – MR. S. STOPPED IN THIS MORNING… LOVE HIM… SWELL GUY… HAS A LITTLE JOB UP AT Cole’s FOR ME… CHILS + MARIE WERE OVER FOR DINNER; WE WENT TO THE GAME + TO A MOVIE –

1942 SUN I THINK IT WAS THIS DAY I WAS SO ACUTELY tortured… MY GOD! – IT WAS TERRIBLE. HOW CAN Eleanor DO WHAT SHE DOES… MADE EVERYTHING COMPLETELY miserable FOR ME. –

1943 MON PAIN + DESOLATION. I WAS FULL OF SADNESS + HEARTSICK WHEN I GOT BACK; THEN BARBARA IS GOING BACK TO TEXAS. I MOVED IN with PEG + LOIS + DONNA… I HOPE IT WILL WORK OUT OKAY. I’M SOUL-TIRED.

SEPTEMBER 18

1939 First day of real classes – School is going to be fun + exciting All the freshmen are darling – (253 of them) – Mr. Cole sent me a telegram that he couldn’t come down – Wayne King played tonight

1940 Wed – I am in a physical mess… I hope I last through Friday! – I’ll live through tomorrow because I know Eleanor is coming! – And Friday – we go HOME! – (hope I sleep tonight - )

1941 Thurs 12:00 We just saw a big fire – Ross Lumber – Mobs of people in their nightclothes – fire trucks – hose - + red orange smoke + flames… Emil says he thinks I have more poise – Leonard hasn’t talked to him… Faculty picnic talked to Margaret

1942 FIRST LEONARD and I WENT OVER TO Harold’s THIS EVENING… DRANK PORT WINE – H. LAGERSTROM AND I TALKED ART INSTITUTE UNTIL H + L WERE QUITE BORED. Harold SAID LEONARD SAID HE SAW ME LAST NIGHT! EVIDENTLY DIDN’T KNOW I WAS WITH Stan.

1943 SAT HOWARD IS SWEET. A WONDERFUL FELLOW. WE FELT A LITTLE SHY THOUGH. [MY PICTURE IS STILL IN HIS WALLET.] SAW CLARA IN CHICAGO, SHE IS TALLER, THINNER MORE ADULT. FERN WAS GOING TO SEE ROY at ST. LOUIS. I WAS GLAD SOMEONE WAS with ME. GOD, IT WAS TOO SHORT!

AUGUST 15

1939 Worked on ad all day – no go – Eleanor + I had started on a diet – But tonight we went on a picnic – T bone steaks – Georgia came over to talk “yearbooks” and talked “Glenn” instead I’m afraid she’s skirting a loss

1940 Mrs. Foster likes the drawings okay – Gee, I’d like to get started out there… Howard took me to a show tonight – We talked Francais afterward La vie est brave (I can’t stand the way he kisses me!)

1941 Fri Went out to Doris Iverson’s tonight… 12 of us… ate too much, again… Good seeing people. I was rather quiet

1942 SAT A NIGHT I DON’T WANT TO REMBER, BUT WILL NEVER FORGET; I CRIED UNTIL 4:00… I DIDN’T THINK DAD could BE SO STUPID and INSENSITIVE – HE WAS LIKE A CHARACTER out OF A SECOND RATE NOVEL… I WAS SO ASHAMED + HUMILIATED… I WOULDN’T HAVE MINDED IF HE HAD BLAMED me; BUT HE DIDN’T say  WORD TO ME… Leonard WAS PERFECT. I’LL NEVER forgive DAD if THIS HAS BROKEN US UP.

1943 SUN

AUGUST 11

1939 12:00 Started on the dummy of the yearbook today – I’m not as scared as I was. Mr. Bailin asked me to write the ad for the newspaper another element of the new shop! I’m glad… We played bridge at Terry’s

1940 1:15 Perhaps it would have been less dangerous to have gone out w/ Bill tonight (or Hunk) Howard took pictures this morning + we ran them tonight… He said he wished the 1940 Edda were to do over! My God.

1941 12- I hope I’ve done the right thing. I’ve decided to stay at Auggie. Talked w/ Mr. Eide + Granskau. They were so swell. I have a lot to live up to… Leonard’s brother was killed in Chicago. I feel so bad… He is away..

1942 11:00 GEE, Baby, WE DIDN’T DO MUCH with TODAY * WENT SWIMMING with DAVID… (date for thurs.) GOT BURNED – VAMPED A 4 yr OLD BOY… WENT out TO SCHOOL; DIDN’T see MISTER PAYNE

1943 WED

APRIL 4

1939 11:30 - I'd better write in here before I drop off - I feel swell right now; but I have spent the day over 6 posters for "Death takes a Holiday" - Ray was working on his term paper for history all day - so I didn't see him at all. - Tomorrow I have to be down at Beache's at 8:00! - 2 classes + work in the afternoon - I'll be thankful for vacation

1940 Thurs. - Jake + Howard took me to a movie... I feel so much better - Mr. Spitznagel introduced me to Mrs. Rubens + Mr. Cole in Bar Omar today. I'd forgotten I hadn't had lunch

1941 Friday - happy day - home at last! Dad was waiting for me - We breezed home in time for dinner. Sara + Marguerite - then Bob + Leonard came over.

1942 2:20 Just about the most perfect time we've had together... We went to the dance. Came home read some of Beautiful People. Perfect Day, too. D.J. gave me a driving lesson. Hope Leonard (+ I) live through next week.

1943 11:30 (Darling, I hope you're thinking of me; I wish this "interim" would pass + we would be together again) Today I did little. And did not care; particularly. Read Saroyan's Human Comedy - could not laugh at it. I loved it. It's raining. I'm clean. Called on Kay Dobs

APRIL 2

1939 11:00 tsk tsk - smoking in bed! But it is fun. Eleanor + Ed are downstairs. It seems funny to have us both dating. Ray + I went to the show this aft. what a swell fellow he is! - I guess I'm getting pretty sloppy - I even like to hold hands in the movies! Saw Nessa

1940 Tuesday - I couldn't do a thing today... I don't know if it was appalling amt of work or the fact that my cold was bothering badly, at any rate, I quit + came home... Took a bath went to bed... I asked Howard for Wed. night... Wyman for Saturday + he was floored... so was I when he said he was going to be in Lennox.

1941 11:15 FEEL - AS KITTY FOYLE SO APTLY PUTS IT - A TRIFLE BITCHY... [REMIND ME NOT TO ADOPT THAT PHRASE] - BUT I DID WRITE SOME LETTERS... SUFFERED FROM A RELAPSE ALL DAY... MY ELBOW HURTS LIKE HELL EVERY TIME IT TOUCHES ANYTHING. I CAN SPEND $45 next wk.

1942 Finished BUDDENBROOKS - depressingly vivid Real - Gee, that Mann can write! I was mad at Leonard... Bob Haakinson came over + we had a perfectly swell walk all over - eating popcorn - went over to D.J's Moon

1943 FRI MRS. DAHL + MRS. STOTE ACTUALLY raised THEIR VOICES AT ONE ANOTHER THIS MORNING. I WAS ACUTELY UNCOMFORTABLE. HAD LUNCH WITH 2 VERY IMPORTANT, VERY dull MEN - MRS. S INSISTED I GO + I Really DIDN'T WANT TO! WE WORKED UNTIL LATE... I MET Herman AT 6:30, WE HAD DINNER AND WENT TO THE EXQUISITE PETROUSHKA, PAS EN QUATRE, ETC. Ballet Russe

MARCH 18

1939 10:55 It's 12 days till the Province meet at Aberdeen. 12 days to get my oration organized + in my head - I read what I wrote last night to Hugo. He was swell. Helped me a lot

1940 1:15 Mon More complications! Why didn't I stay home to work? Jake thinks I'm "leading Howard on" - He seems to think H. is terribly serious. We came home

1941 11:45 Tues. - Oh would that I could stay in bed tomorrow! - Wearing day. - The kids are getting too familiar... The school board must not have discovered I'm a farce -

1942 WED Creative Writing. Bill read. We had quite a disagreement over Art + the standards by which it is to be judged. Wilber kills me! Should have come right home, but Peg came after me.

1943 12:30 THURS - I'M STARTING Monday WITH HAIRE PUBLICATIONS. ASSISTANT TO EDITOR OF"CHILDREN'S APPAREL", A TRADE JOURNAL - AND AT $35 A WEEK. GOSH, I HOPE I'M WORTH IT... I HAD LUNCH WITH HERMAN... TRIED TO SEE MR. Conover (WHO WANTS TO SEE me!) SAW MISS Zach AT Mlle. WHO IS A SWELL GAL - WHO SAYS SHE EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT ME WHEN THEY NEEDED AN "INTERIOR" Editor!

MARCH 11

1939 11:30 The Day Dumb. All I can ever manage to get done on a Saturday is to get the house + myself clean... I'm alone... 

1940 Monday Blizzard! - disgustin' - It seems, even when I actually direct - that I get so little accomplished I rather think Howard knows what I did.

1941 JOURNAL OF "THE OTHER WOMAN"... GUESS WHAT MET MARY ELIZABETH; CONFIDENTIALLY, SHE LOOKED LIKE A MESS... HATE TO BE CLASSED WITH HER... TOOO MUCH MAKE-UP... I DIDN'T SAY BOO... SHE PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS AWED! - GOD, CLASSES WERE GRIM... HAD A LETTER FROM MOTHER... WISH I'D HEAR FROM E. - I DREAMED LAST NIGHT SHE WAS PREGNANT! - YE GODS!

1942 Wed Wilber + Bill + Shirley came over after class for coffee + some of the cake left from yestiddy... It was Lefty's birthday. I brought ice-cream cones for sketch class. Donna wants to go to Sioux City - ?

1943 2:00 OH GOD - I HATE MYSELF... I SHOULD THINK HE'D HAVE NOTICED THE TORCH IN MY HAND! - AND WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE FERRY OVER TO Staten Island. "CONDITIONS" WERE TOO good. JARV. ASKED ME TO THE Graduation DANCE. WELL MR. CONOVER WAS VERY NICE. I DON'T DON'T EXACTLY WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT ME. YET. SENT ME OVER TO Sea Leg Gibbons.

FEBRUARY 25

1939 12:45 I think I'm out of it now... for a while this day was just pure hell... I can't remember when I've been in such a suicidal mood... I woke up crying - (I kept it up spasmodically)... Sometimes Eleanor hurts me terribly... more so than she means, I'm sure... Tonight I sketched at the school Carnival. Nessa + I "caught up" with each other since

1940 1:15 Howard took me to epoch-al "G.W.T. Wind" - I completely lost myself in it... Marie + I tied for "typical" - She + Wyman will be it. I'll have a hard time keeping it quiet. Wish I could be a combination of Scarlett + Melanie

1941 Dammit - didn't get to go over to Haywarden. However, I was quite content to stay home + knit + talk with Mrs. Reeves - She still hears nothing from Robt. Hope he is okay.

1942 Wed It was Shirley Morgan's Birthday. I went down + bought a cake at Nash. Made coffee in the kitchenette. It was successful. Bill + Leonard helped me w/ the dishes.

1943 THURS (I HOPE MY CARD GOT THERE IN TIME!) WELL I PAID $10 ON AN EIGHTY-SEVEN $ COAT... WOW I'LL HAVE TO GET A JOB now... I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S A GOOD INVESTMENT... INTERVIEWED Mr. Stowell OVER AT ARCH. RECORD, WHO MAY GIVE ME AN in AT Glammer AND VOGUE... I FORGOT TO GET ME RATION-BOOK OF COURSE! - HOPE I CAN STILL MAKE IT. OI, NO MAIL (or male) TODAY. WASHED ME HAIR. TALKED RUSSIAN w/ LIZA

FEBRUARY 24

1939 12:15 I hate to walk home alone at 12 o'clock at night. I was plenty frightened when a sneaky looking coupe cut across the boulevard I hid in a driveway until I thought it had gone... I stayed home from school + read Shakespeare. 

1940 2:30 It's a vicious circle - I can't work during the day on accounta all the interruptions and at night, Howard heckles.

1941 A HELLUVA DAY, if I do say so... But did get a swell letter + etching from Bob - He seems very much adjusted, now. Thank Goodness... GEE, the futility of time - or something. I still believe in TODAY, but still can't speed up my activities to live up to my concept!

1942 Tues - Italian Renaissance in History of Art - What a headache

1943 WED I APPLIED AT RAYMOND LOEWY'S STUDIOS; THERE IS A possibility OF MY DOING SOME MURAL DECORATIONS FOR THEM! (IF I ONLY COULD!) ...MET Elizabeth FRAZER ON FIFTH AVENUE, FUN. LEONARD WRITES HE REPORTS FOR INDUCTION ON MARCH 6TH... WHICH HIT ME HARD, EMIL'S COMING TURNED OUT WELL, HE SAYS... I'M SO DARN GLAD... HAD FURTHER APT. with SCHOLASTIC, WHICH WOULD PAY $40 A WEEK! - Yipes! - WHICH IS darn good

FEBRUARY 23

1939 1:30 Today I applied for my "Social Security" number! - I sold 15 hats + got very tired of standing on my feet. I am thankful today is over! 

1940 10:45 It was foolish of me to be so upset all day... I was afraid to go over to the studio for fear of having to face Howard - Very Silly - 

1941 1:00 Here we go again, boys... Frederic + I saw Philadelphia Story (tres bon) most of the evening I was shy + self conscious + felt I was putting on an act all of the time - But not now, I don't think... ? ? ? 

1942 Mon We're doing etchings in techniques -

1943 TUES YIPES! WOULD I love TO HAVE THAT JOB UP AT THE NEW YORK TIMES, ASSISTANT TO Mr. Krikorian! HE WAS beautiful TO ME; SCHOLASTIC PRESS IS BECKONING. EASTMAN SOUNDS VERY CUT and DRIED, I'M AFRAID... J. WALTER THOMPSON IS OUT, I GUESS - SEEMED TO THINK I'D BE STIFLED... HAD 5 INTERVIEWS TODAY. SAW THE LADY Vanishes + NIGHTTRAIN

FEBRUARY 17

1939 Friday 12:35 - and I'm in need of some sort of moral support - badly! - W. heckled me all day - I don't know if he deliberately tried to, but he certainly did a swell job. I think I'd rather go with him to the J.S. than w/ anyone! I sewed on my black dress.

1940 Saturday 11:45 Got about 5 panels pasted... I will have to do lots tomorrow. Howard is perfectly swell about stuff. I can't blame him... I don't give a hoot for the other guys, though...

1941 Mon. Still haven't actually any plays picked... All the good ones are "Royalty" - Sat downstairs and read to Mrs. R. ...Dr. gave us our usual "nightcap"... They are so sweet to me. Didn't hear from Gramskon yet ? ? ? ?

1942 10:45 Eleanor had us over for dinner tonight. She is really ecstatic. I'm so darn glad. We had a lovely dinner. Washed dishes. Should write to Michael... It's cold... Guess I'll read Test. Depressing Faculty meeting. Odd how - quickly I can forgive Leonard for anything.

1943 WED I DIDN'T GO TO ROCKEFELLER Center WITH BOB + PEG ALTHOUGH THEY SEEMED SINCERE ABOUT WANTING ME..  Lois WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL, BUT DIDN'T... WE ATE UP AT THE SANDWICH SHOP... I INVESTIGATED AN AD (A POOP) AND TESTED AT THE AGENCY - WHICH LOOKS SWELL AND THEY WERE KEEN TO ME; SAID I COULD LAND A GOOD JOB (I HOPE SO) WE HAD A GOOD DINNER AT Toffeneti's. WHICH I ENJOYED - BOB IS WONDERFUL. PEG IS CRAZY ABOUT HIM + I DON'T BLAME HER.

FEBRUARY 15

1939 Wednesday I've almost finished the Book - It is bitter + hard. The day was quite awful... the good looking salesman I was in love with yesterday has an equally good looking wife! Such luck... (And he had the longest eyelashes!)

1940 Thursday 12:00 This morning doom cracked but it sealed up again - Ran around + helped Howard all day... Radio Skit with C.J... Ushered at C. Music Concert... D.J. + I ate pistachio nuts

1941 Sat. 12:45 - Hate to admit it but a dateless Sat. night is a little demoralizing... Or maybe it's just I'm used to the idea of having one... Spent energy + time cleaning up my class room

1942 ! Here we go again. We really talked. (Now, I don't know if hashing everything out is best or not!) Anyhow, I'm immensely reassured! - Gee, he actually intended to explain. Incidentally too bad I sopped it. we walked in the snow. He's talked as much as I think.

1943 MON (MIGOLLY I FORGOT TO RECALL THIS THE TOO LONG LETTER I JUST WROTE YOU, darn... ) TODAY WAS DEPRESSINGLY cold,  I JUST VENTURED OUT TO EAT and THAT'S ALL. I DID WRITE 3 FAT LETTERS OF APPLICATION, THOUGH... DONNA CAME OVER FOR A WHILE; PEGGY BROUGHT HOT CHOCOLATE HOME... WHICH WE JUST FINISHED with THE REST OF THE COOKIES Betty SENT HER.

DECEMBER 27

1939 Well, actually we got started pasting today. - Leonard is so swell (I was going to be mean to him for Tues.) - We had a sandwich over at the Hen. - didn't go home - Virginia came out after us. The car radio was tuned in on Duke Ellington

1940 FRIDAY 12- SLEPT TILL 1:30 - LURY TOOK A WALK OUT TO SCHOOL - SAW HOWARD + JAKE - OVER TO NESSA'S TONIGHT - MARG IS SLEEPING HERE TONIGHT. 

1941 I amaze myself continually. I called Leonard + asked him to come over about 7:00! - Over at Nessa's. We played records and danced + drank - tsk. Listened to Bolero -

1942 SUN BARBARA HAD A TOM + JERRY PARTY THIS AFTERNOON... [GEE, THEY WERE GOOD] I HELD THE MANTELPIECE UP + WAS SURROUNDED BY SOLDIERS. Leonard CALLED [AS I DESPERATELY hoped] WHEN I CAME HOME... WE WENT OVER TO his SISTERS' - TO SPITZNAGELS' AND TO JOHNS' - home [WHERE WE BOTH LANDED IN A HEAP WHEN L. LIFTED ME fr. DAVENPORT!] 

1943

DECEMBER 1

1939 - Today I spent with Carp + Howard up at Madison taking pictures of the gal picked by Tyrone Power as the most beautiful co-ed in S. Dak. - Tonight he took me to the show - Carp is sweet but rugged + a little young. 

1940 10:30 Some one is singing "Ave Maria" - Wish some of its serenity would penetrate my existence - somewhere there's a jazz band interfering. I think it's quite symbolic. Today was gone before it began... Got back early. Fred called, said he was working - phooey. Harley + Bob took me for a ride.

1941 11:00 I DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE NICE, PLEASANT DAYS LIKE THIS (L WASN'T OUT!) - WENT OUT FOR 8:00 - NO SCHOOL UNTIL 12:00! - DRAWING AUXILIARY, SPITZNAGEL, DINNER, KNIT, EXERCISE, BED -

1942 TUES 12:00 WAS OVER AT VIRGINIA F'S PLAYING BRIDGE (FOR A WHILE) WITH MARION B. + VIRGINIA N. (2 OF EACH!)... I WORE MY SLACKS, TOO COLD TO CHANGE...

1943

NOVEMBER 16

1939 11:30 Well I don't feel so decrepit - I've had such a swell birthday - It was as mild + warm as spring - people sat around on campus w/o their coats - I helped Howard take pictures all day - I hope some of them turn out. Took shots of B. Johnson tonight. She is gorgeous. - E sent me a lipstick!

1940 12:00 Well, "Marion is Twenty-Two" ...Never had a birthday affect me less... I was a little bit taut about the time Eleanor called though... Marguerite, Nessa + Sari took me to lunch at the Java Rm... Saw Spitznagel + Henrich. Marguerite has a Fraternity Pin + Sari is going "steady" - Jean M. is going to married Christmas - Jean V. Br. also... Didn't get to see G

1941 2:45 Worked constantly today, some birthday. - Finished posters, went down + helped Bob + Leonard until 2:00

1942 LEONARD DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY (THANK GOODNESS!) BUT golly, HE CERTAINLY MADE IT A happy ONE FOR ME! HE CAME DOWN AND WALKED ME HOME (AFTER WE'D ALL BEEN TRYING TO WRITE T. Club INVITATIONS) - HE SAYS - NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, HE'LL KNOW HOW LUCKY HE IS... HE'S GOING TO BE "GOOD" NEXT 2 WKS! I MADE MORE LAMPSHADES TODAY. BROUGHT cake TO DON + HAROLD

I FEEL COMPLETELY A woman - 

1943