SEPTEMBER 26

1939 I went down to H.S. + observed today. It was fun. – Ruth Bach was pretty surprised. Went to Big – Little Sister theater party. Saw Sari – Back from her vacation. Def. in love!

1940 THURS THANK GOD TOMORROW IS FRIDAY AND I’M A GOIN’ HOME! – MAYBE I DON’T EXACTLY NEED TO, BUT I’VE GOT SOME PRETTY GOOD EXCUSES SO I THINK I WILL… BLANCHE + I WENT DOWN + HAD SOME COFFEE TONIGHT… I TOLD “AW” ABOUT MY “LOVE LIFE” A BAD HABIT; BUT I SEEM TO GET A VICARIOUS PLEASURE OUT OF IT… I OUGHT TO BE MORE CAGEY!…

1941 Fri Whoops – one class – played records in techniques (Leonard’s were swell) Went to Moosic. Marg + Sara + I saw Mata Hari + ate carameled apples.

1942 SAT WILMA WAS HERE THIS WEEKEND… SHE’S ABSOLUTELY amazing… SHE NEVER SEEMS ANY OLDER AND SHE’S 40! – LOOKS ABOUT 30 – AT THE MOST…

1943 SUN. A QUIET DAY… I WROTE A LETTER. WE ENTERTAINED BOB SNOOK at BREAKFAST. I THOUGHT TOO MUCH, PERHAPS, ABOUT VIC… TSK. TSK… EDITH + I WENT TO MUSEUM OF M. ART… IT WAS SUNSHINY, OCTOBER – COLD. I MUST YET WRITE SOME MORE LETTERS… I LOATHE THE IDEA OF MONDAY IF ONLY IT WOULD BE SUNDAY FOREVER.

SEPTEMBER 22

1939 Spent the day looking for people + not finding ‘em. I’ll have to go out to school tomorrow! – long time at my window to-night thinking about home-coming. (If only I were sure of a date!)

1940 Sun 12:30 I’d almost forgotten how it felt to be “bossed” – well I remember now, vividly – Maybe it was my fault – but I don’t think so… E. LEFT ON 5:30 TRAIN. – D.J. TOOK ME for a ride tonight we ate popcorn. I left a note for Bill

1941 11:00? (RUSSIA HAS PRACTICALLY FALLEN… IS AT LEAST WEAKENED TERRIBLY… WHERE IS THIS INSANITY TO END?) – I CERTAINLY DIDN’T CURB MY APPETITE AS I HAD INTENDED TO – TSK, TSK. – DAY DIDN’T GO BADLY AT ALL… BOB + I LISTENED TO BACH’S CONTATA + FUGUE… WROTE ELEANOR

1942 TUES

1943 WED I’M GETTING MORE + MORE organized AGAIN, I THINK… [THANK GOODNESS…] PEG + I WENT FOR A WALK ALONG THE RIVER – SO BEAUTIFUL + SHINY WITH LIGHTS… HIGH SCHOOL BOYS WANTED TO PICK US UP. WE SHYLY DEMURRED… ATE WITH HERMAN. HE WAS VERA CURIOUS ABOUT Leonard.

JULY 9

1939 Sunday 11:00 – Eleanor + I went swimming about 1:00 – (I seem to be making no impression on D.Richards) tonight Nessa + Terry + I went to D.R.

1940 10:00 Well Mr. Clements explain your way out of this one! – I saw you out with another woman! – And I’m so heart-broken – Don’t you wish I were… I’d like a date w/ Hans. Played tennis w/ Donna

1941 Wed. Gee, I’m a heel – Didn’t even send Wilmer a wire – Well, I’m a pregnant menial in Geo. W. slept Here... tsk, tsk, hope I’m not typed! Our show went perfectly tonight – wonderful audience. I’m just as glad I’m not in Stage Door – Wish I could have one good part before I go home. – Gee, the moon’s perfect.

1942 THURS 12:30 WILBER and JOHN, DJ + I just BRUSHED off A PICNIC of BEER… I SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN! Wonderful! – WILBER IS A SWEET KEED… IT WAS Bill’s BIRTHDAY… FRIED chicken + ANGEL-FOOD cake. I PUT MY HAIR OOP + BOUGHT THE Blue SHOES.

MAY 12

1939 10:00 Worked this aft. Bought a new dress - plain cyclone flannel. (and no more money) We went to the school party - fun + stuff

1940 Sunday 11:00 Felt rotten most of the time today. - ...Eleanor called this morning Mother + I went to a tea out at school this aft... Clara and I started our play (ha)... talked about Bill - now I know he's not what I want All I feel is a vague sort of gaiety!

1941 11:30 Worked down at school after dinner cutting out life-savers! - The boys evidently appreciated my new girdle today. - Harley thought I looked "amazingly slender" - Bob thought I was "in very good form". tsk tsk. Such respect. - (And I love it, secretly)

1942 11:30 Floated most of the morning. About 3:30, began to FEEL it... Went to Maltese Falcon w/ J.J.... (Leonard, you'll still have to tell me the ending) Gee, it's RAINING again (I'll never get to wear my gr. dress.

1943 WED Finished writing what I hope was adequately reassuring letter to Leonard in answer to his beautiful, 4 page, but quite upset letter (on accounta what I'd said about Herman (?))... A coincidence - strangely - he had written it when Herman was proposing to me! - more than coincidence I think! Herman came over. We walked along the river.

MAY 6

1939 1:30 Sat. Worked all day. Home. Washed hair - clothes - Tonight I saw "Union Pacific" with Ray. It rained - lovely Spring rain.

1940 Mon - Worked - had my picture taken for J.S. - ushered at Civic Music Concert. - A barytone who sang one Russian Cafe song that nearly tore my heart out.

1941 Existed.

1942 ? If I saw you often enough, maybe I'd get over you - then again maybe I wouldn't! - (Shirley read in Creative Writing tonight... She's a sweet kid, but she idolizes me too much) We went out to Billy's + danced - fun fun.

1943 THURS Had dinner with Lois + Sully at Klahe's... We had highballs first at the apartment... tsk tsk. Lois looks wonderful. She's swell. I took copy over to Mrs. Stote's... she is pale + wan. I adore her apartment. Walked over to Lois' after work... Fun today

MAY 2

1939 12:05 Tonight I saw John Barrymore - it was a thrill, all right. The stage seems more glamorous than ever - Ray was pretty tired. He averages 5 hrs a day work + with school, too. It is quite demanding. However, he managed to waste this aft. w/ me.

1940 Thurs. Bill is beginning to want a little more reassurance! He protested that he has committed himself so far + that I haven't said anything. I don't intend to. (I made him go to the Civic Theater play - I worked 7 hrs. today)

1941 What was that? (May 1 1941) tsk, what resolution, woman! Well, it did relieve the monotony, and it did do my morale good. (+ he did have to argue me into it 2 hrs.) + the wild western was fun... Washed hair, clothes, took a bath. I'm ready to work T. (dammit!)

1942 1:00 - Hell, again Sat night sans date gets me down, I'm afraid - I don't look forward to tomorrow. Thomas Mann to keep me company. D.J. + I went to a show.

1943 12:30 I think I enjoyed today very much. We went out to Mt. Vernon to see his sister - Margie liked me (I was actually nervous about the child's approval). We took a long walk about the suburb. - Well kempt. A little stuffy maybe. We didn't mention Peggy.

APRIL 18

1939 10:40 I really accomplished very little today - But I enjoy doing nothing, I guess. J.S. committee meeting - I've got to start clicking on that. Wyman + I haggled - but not seriously.  - Ray came after me out to school this aft. We rode around a while. - When he brought me home - he took advantage of the fact that no-one was home - tsk tsk!

1940 11:00 - Men are rats... I went on a picnic with the gals tonight... because I wasn't home the 2nd time Bill called, he didn't call again - oh well, oh hell, tout passe. -

1941 (19) THERE IS SO MUCH PRETENDING. I SHOULD KNOW... BUT I GUESS YOU HAVE TO, TO SOME EXTENT... LEONARD CALLED AGAIN + HAD TO TAKE IT WITH BOB. IF HE REALLY WANTS ME, HE'LL KEEP IT UP I HOPE HE ISN'T PRETENDING!

1942 Sat OH FRUSTRATION... I'd been preparing myself all day for not having a date, but still couldn't help being miserable. Cut out plaid.

1943 SUN OH IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING And it was quite a beautiful day. I wrote to Eleanor + Clara. Ate a nice dinner at Childs (Nat came with me) I walked down to Evelyn Nilsens' - where I was fed gingerbread and 5 cups of coffee! Didn't go to Carnegie! - Peg + I talked

APRIL 2

1939 11:00 tsk tsk - smoking in bed! But it is fun. Eleanor + Ed are downstairs. It seems funny to have us both dating. Ray + I went to the show this aft. what a swell fellow he is! - I guess I'm getting pretty sloppy - I even like to hold hands in the movies! Saw Nessa

1940 Tuesday - I couldn't do a thing today... I don't know if it was appalling amt of work or the fact that my cold was bothering badly, at any rate, I quit + came home... Took a bath went to bed... I asked Howard for Wed. night... Wyman for Saturday + he was floored... so was I when he said he was going to be in Lennox.

1941 11:15 FEEL - AS KITTY FOYLE SO APTLY PUTS IT - A TRIFLE BITCHY... [REMIND ME NOT TO ADOPT THAT PHRASE] - BUT I DID WRITE SOME LETTERS... SUFFERED FROM A RELAPSE ALL DAY... MY ELBOW HURTS LIKE HELL EVERY TIME IT TOUCHES ANYTHING. I CAN SPEND $45 next wk.

1942 Finished BUDDENBROOKS - depressingly vivid Real - Gee, that Mann can write! I was mad at Leonard... Bob Haakinson came over + we had a perfectly swell walk all over - eating popcorn - went over to D.J's Moon

1943 FRI MRS. DAHL + MRS. STOTE ACTUALLY raised THEIR VOICES AT ONE ANOTHER THIS MORNING. I WAS ACUTELY UNCOMFORTABLE. HAD LUNCH WITH 2 VERY IMPORTANT, VERY dull MEN - MRS. S INSISTED I GO + I Really DIDN'T WANT TO! WE WORKED UNTIL LATE... I MET Herman AT 6:30, WE HAD DINNER AND WENT TO THE EXQUISITE PETROUSHKA, PAS EN QUATRE, ETC. Ballet Russe

MARCH 16

1939 11:40 Thurs I think maybe I'm getting started not that I accomplished anything. But Ray + Wyman hekkled me to pieces this aft. Why is it everyone likes to tease me? I'm getting sick of it - P. Practice tonight then after b. ball game at S.F.C. Clara + I went over to Tommy's for M. Milks

1940 Sat 12:30 Mary Anne came today on her way to the Art Institute - She is exactly the same. But with more definite, stronger purpose. I'll probably see her in Chicago...

1941 10:45 Sun night + as usual I"m torn between the idea of working + bed. - So I'm going to compromise + work in bed (I hope!) - Well, my appetite was certainly not affected by my "broken heart" - tsk tsk - Waited all day for Frederic. - Of course, he didn't materialize.

1942 MON Yes, I was tired today... Just about went to sleep posing for sketch class... Peg and I went to Sullivans Travels... Out to Hen... talked...

1943 TUES 12:40 LOW EBB: MR. KRIKORIAN "LET ME KNOW" - in the MAIL, THE COWARD... I SHOULDN'T BE SO disappointed, BUT I AM. MISS GIBBONS WAS ALSO AT A FASHION MEETING WHEN I ARRIVED AT 9:30 THIS MORNING. I CHECKED BACK WITH HAUSNER + LUCY + THEN CAME HOME - WET + DEPRESSED. CLEANED UP THE Room - sent in McCann-Erikson application + played bridge

MARCH 10

1939 11:50 Friday Eleanor + I went to a show tonight. Today I felt much more suicidal than ordinary... I've got to get over this nonsense pretty quick!

1940 Sunday 11:45 - Leonard took me to Grapes of Wrath tonight - I wonder if he has "figured me out yet"... I certainly can't him - It was very different from the other date I had with him... Howard also wanted to do something tonight. Peggy's father died.

1941 I CAN ALWAYS BEAR ALMOST ANYTHING (CASTING THE MELODRAMA) WHEN A DAY IS LIKE THIS ONE... SUNSHINE... WIND... COOL; BUT DEFINITELY SPRING! - TONIGHT IS FULL MOON - CLEAR SKY... BRIGHT STARS - ALL'S FAIR WILL BE FAIRLY DECENT, I THINK; BUT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT LITTLE NELL! - OH HELL... I'M ETERNALLY AMAZED ABOUT HOW I MANAGE TO TEACH WITH NO PREP.

1942 Tues Gee, what a day! - Our party went off sooper - daffodils, etchings It all in spite of the fact that my frosting was a flop... Of course, it rained a little, too. Those sweet kids (D.J., Bob, Wilber + Peg) helped w/ dishes. Went roller skating tonight - And danced afterwards! tsk tsk

1943 1:00 WELL, I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW WITH A CERTAIN MR. HARRY Conover... MAY BE NOTHING WILL PAN OUT; BUT IT IS ALL AN experience, ANYHOW. ALL I DID WAS WAIT WITH COW-LIKE PATIENCE IN OFFICES ALL DAY - MR. COOPER WAS NICE TO ME. I SAW TED. GOT A LETTER FROM Leonard - ANOTHER VERSE from HERMAN

MARCH 8

1939 10:15 And Cr. Wr. Class again and me with nothing to hand in - I've got to start "accomplishing" 100 miles per (in more ways than one!)

1940 2:00 Friday Began re-doing "Dummy" some job! - Worked out a cover which I think is pretty good if Leonard will only do it now - It was Bob's birthday - We 3 felt so silly tonight

1941 SENT BOB A TELEGRAM... FOOLED AROUND DOWNTOWN (TSK TSK IN SLACKS) LOOKED AT A $50 WATCH - I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ONE NICE THING TO SHOW FOR A YEAR'S WORK - CAST THE ALL'SED FAIR - LOOKS FAIRLY GOOD (??) WISH THE OTHERS WERE ON THE WAY, TOO. (DAMMIT). ABOUT READY TO TRY "T.M.", CAN'T FIND THE BOOK - 

1942 Oh happy Day - kidded myself into writing letters all day - 7! Walked down, mailed them, had given up hope by 7:15 + bang he called. Later said he'd spent half an hour contemplating the phone... After going to the Granada, walking home, having coke, etc. talked even more. Said I "never needed" to "worry" around him - Gee.

1943 12:00 WELL, I WAS A COWARD TODAY; STAYED HOME and WASHED CLOTHES, ME, MY HAIR; CLEANED + STRAIGHTENED UP IN GENERAL. I CALLED MR. Krikorian HAS FELLAS AVAILABLE, damn... HEARD FROM Leonard, THANK GOODNESS. HE IS DOING WELL, WILL GET NO POST-INDUCTION furlough.

FEBRUARY 7

1939 Tuesday 10:15 Horrible Day worked on Poster wrote a Fashion Column for Mirror Coughed all through Speech Class cold sores are depressing...

1940 Wed (2 fellas called + I wasn't home - ) ... And every bit as miserable this year only more "mentally" - I can't seem to work when I'm 'emotionally upset" (mad at somebody) Finally got  to work about dinner time - saw end of the game 

1941 12 And thank - God - it's Friday - Again! Helped Candy at B.B. Game. Day was vague and empty. Tried to get at Larry again. I wish I could help him, so to Jo -

1942 Sat. Eleanor's putting her hair up - Gee, makes me feel funny to know she's really going to start out a whole new existence, really. God, please let her be happy. She is one gal who deserves it.

1943 SUN 11:30 SLEPT LATE. READ THE FUNNIES JARV. BROUGHT FOR ME... HE CALLED JUST AS I WAS taking  A BATH, of course; WE WENT TO Arabian Nights IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD... HE CAME IN. Actually THOUGHT I WOULD LET HIM KISS ME IN THE PARLOR tsk tsk! I WROTE A 4 page LETTER TO MOTHER - ABOUT TIME. PEG + I WENT TO TEA - WHICH, with a NUT SANDWICH, about COMPRISED MY EATING FOR TODAY...

FEBRUARY 5

1939 Sun 10:45 - If I wake up with pneumonia tomorrow it's because I washed my hair today - cold + all. - It was worth it. All I did today was start my oration + knit - 

1940 Monday 11:30 - Designed 1 page at least - I think it is good - title page. I'd better speed up. Gregory Tucker is "on campus" Met him today. Okay Joe. He played tonight

1941 Wed THANK GOODNESS BRIDGE CLUB... I THINK IT IS ABOUT NICEST THAT'S "BEEN HAD" - (SUCH CONCEIT) ... VERY COY VALENTINE THEME, THE RASPBERRY SHERBET WAS SO HARD, WE HAD TO "CARVE" IT... HENRY CALLED. - FREDDIE CALLED.... UNHAPPY ABOUT SOMETHING - VERY TIRED... HOPE I CAN SLEEP -

1942 Thurs Sara hasn't called. I suppose she's left for Chicago, though - 2nd time I've stayed home this week! Tsk. Tsk. Got in on Sets + Costumes

1943 FRI LATE WE GOT IN ABOUT 11:20... DONNA ME ME ABOUT 12:30 SEEMED GLAD TO SEE ME; WE GOT ME ENSCONCED. I HAD LUNCH + DINNER WITH HER AT Barnard; WASHED MY HAIR AND HAD A beautiful BAWTH... RESTED A WHILE... SAW CAMPUS OF Columbia U... PEGGY IS 10 POUNDS HEAVIER, BUT RADIANT. I HAD A SPECIAL delivery WHEN I CAME - sweet. PEG HAD WORKED all DAY.

JANUARY 29

1939 11:45 Sunday Mother + I went to church - (I must go more!) I was glad we did. E + I went for a ride + later to a movie Heard Noel Coward on the radio.

1940 Monday - Well, Mlle - is out, and I haven't seen it yet! - Jean V. called me up + told me my suit rated a full page cut on page 80 - It is the navy blue reefer that I had hoped! - I am pretty excited... Stayed home all day doing "Vogue" - n.g.

1941 11:00 Inevitable procrastination... funny how I'd rather go to bed than work! - Pay Day, today... Wish I could save more than I do - I now have $400 - not bad; (but $200 of it really isn't mine) A few things I want to get, though. Sent in Subs to Mlle

Swell letter from Bob. -

1942 12:20 Well, dope, you're missing out on $500 prize Mlle Sh. Story. tsk tsk DeGray Concert. He is tres sooper. Relented + spoke to Bill + Leonard

1943 FRI I HAD EVERETT KROEGER TAKE MY PICTURE; HOPE THEY ARE good... IT WAS FUN, SORT OF. WE BOTH HAD SWELL LETTERS FROM Emil (HE URGED Leonard TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP PERMANENT) I HOPE HIS VISIT WILL NOT BE DISASTROUS. WE WALKED DOWN and MAILED Peg's LETTER AND OUT TO SCHOOL... TO THE ART ROOM - DARK and WARM WITH PAST and PRESENT EXPERIENCES with LEONARD... HE SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME earlier, I KNOW.

JANUARY 16

1939 (- I got my 2.50 check + sent it in for a yrs subscription to Mlle.)

Monday 9:45 and I'm just halfway through studying for my French semester ex (at 8:30 tomorrow) I'm nominated to edit the "Edda" next year. - It's too much responsibility!

1940 (You said a mouthful) - I couldn't sleep on accounta that darn thing, again - But I refuse to get neurotic about it - yet! - We had a game - push over - Donna came over + stayed.

1941 10- Hello, Dope!

Don't know why you have any cause to feel so good - Didn't do a damn thing again today (Well, I wrote 2 letters + corrected spelling papers) And wouldn't you know! Freddie would call just as soon as I got out of the house I did wanta go to the movie pictures

1942 Jan 18 Sun - Darling, you get A+ on "technique" - Gee, I'm glad you called. Mother conveniently retired when we came back from the show - Dark, still perfect. I think my taking things more LIGHTLY relieved Leonard a great deal.

1943 SAT I cleaned up the house (Eleanor furrowed into her room all day - tsk, on Philip's day off) I washed m'hair, pinned it up. Bill was over for dinner. He's had his pre-induction exam at Omaha. - Scrubbed, put on my pink ni. gown. read

JANUARY 8

1939 11:30 I guess last night rather spoiled the whole weekend - or maybe it was just my queazy stomach

1940 12:00 - Mon Well, I did get up early - but it was easy because I was so wkeful all night - Did quite a number of the little jobs on my "list" stayed at Dorm

1941 12- Wed Sweet letters from Eleanor + Del - wrote to em both. WELL, ALMOST FORGOT YOU - STILL NOT IN HABIT OF GETTING UP - BUT GUESS MAYBE WK IS A LITTLE BETTER ORGANIZED - HATE IT (TSK, TSK, SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT!)

1942 Thurs Slept on davenport after supper. And then went to bed! Gee, I hate getting up at the crack of dawn - 

1943 FRI 12:30 IN SPITE OF "public opinion", I WASHED MY HAIR AT 7:30 [DATE at 8:00] - WHICH NEARLY PRECIPITATED A nervous breakdown. IT IS A GOOD THING I'M LEAVING SOON; PHILIP IS ALWAYS TAKING MY SIDE - WHICH IS Bad ---- Bill + Marion + Harold + June + we WENT - TO Billy's AND DANCED... LEONARD HAS GOBS OF WORK TO DO... I HOPE I GET A CHANCE TO TELL HIM WHAT I DECIDED TO, soon. THOUGH...

DECEMBER 30

1939 I am numb. - I ate over there twice - They were perfectly swell to me. - I hope I get to "do" the real job this summer - My mind whirls with Stars - Petty Gals + hell (They asked me to the party)

1940 No - even Bill called (as last night) to give me an excuse to put off reading those damned autobiographies. So I got started! All ready the time is dwindling pitifully away - Hope the rest of the school year tears by like hell - Dear God, I hope I'm not teaching next yr. but that I am earning some money-

1941 12- Rather desultory day (just because you didn't' see Leonard?) - Didn't get up till 11:00 - tsk - went out to school. Jo didn't show up - No story written! - Went over to D.J.'s - ate too much.

1942 12- I FEEL BETTER, muchly... TALKED WITH MOTHER ABOUT MY GOING; SHE'LL BACK ME UP IF EVEN I WANT TO GO TO NEW YORK... WE HAD BEEN OVER TO HANSONS, AND WHEN WE CAME HOME, discussed IT IN WHISPERED TONES... I TOOK MOTHER + Dad TO THE Palm Beach Story THIS AFTERNOON. MOTHER + Leonard ARE THE TWO I REALLY HATE TO LEAVE *

1943