OCTOBER 11

1939 Wed Carp asked me to go to the banquet with him. Now I don’t know what to do. – Suppose it will be Bob. I like both of the fellows. – shouldn’t want to hurt either.

1940 1:00 Thank you, God, for letting me have moment like I’ve had today… For just being able to sit downstairs (like I was a minute ago) with Bob + Leonard… just incoherently grateful for their presence… For having fun with a different W.W. in Sioux City… for riding home with Ray + Wyman. And for Leonard.

1941 Sat Convocation (which I didn’t make) Variety show – banquet (programs + flowers) Game – 66-6 – Show – Boyer

1942 SUN 12:05 (Well, it’s about time I started writing in here again!) Today would have been lovely if Eleanor hadn’t turned neurotic at Breakfast! I went to church by myself. (but met Bob) Granskau was wonderful. Tea this afternoon with Chils + Marie – And Bob Rief + I went out to school to see Mr. Eide’s stuff tonight.

1943 MON Time! Time! Time! – Oh God – I wish I were free of it… I read Thomas Wolfe today… which shouldn’t be done by the clock! … Weezie + Peg were so slow they missed their chance for dates… my cover proofs are good!

OCTOBER 9

1939 Mon – down at H.S. – (practice teaching looms up!) Printed posters to-day. Bob informed me that M. Allan considers my attitude toward Marie as revoltingly patronizing. - !! – I’m trying to make up to Marie for what she seems to be getting from the rest of the girls.

1940 11:00 – I feel very alive – almost normal… must be I’m tired… worked at school tonight for a while… Blanche + I guzzled cokes + talked about my l. life as usual… must be my desire for vicarious experience popping up again… Hell of a teaching day. –

1941 Thurs Hello stoopid – Nobody but a dumdum like you would forget about the heater for about 4 hours! – or be so slow getting started about reducing – Maybe you don’t know it, Babe, but that piece of peach pie was last pastry you’re going to eat for some time.

1942 FRI Leonard + I helped Bob with the stage until 6:30. Honestly, I don’t know how he’d have finished. Leonard broke down + asked me to go; Bob + Ruth Kingsberry went with us afterward in to the maelstrom of the PALACE; then we went over to ALL SAINTS and talked in the Discussion parlor.

1943 SAT I SLEPT LATE… WE HAD BRUNCH LATE SCRAMBLED EGGS + TOAST… THEN LOIS, WEEZY + I WENT FOR A FERRY BOAT RIDE TO STATEN ISLAND – SAW THE BIG BOATS IN THE SUNSHINE + WIND… THE STATUE of LIBERTY… VIC CALLED ABOUT SIX – CAME OVER ABOUT 7:00 MINUS A MOLAR, PLUS A FEW BEERS, AND WE WENT TO WATCH ON THE RHINE. HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. #4

OCTOBER 5

1939 10:10 Marie has been perfect… I don’t think I could have stood it if she hadn’t… The next headache is a H.C. date! I have been trying to soak out some of my mixed emotions in a hot bath – God, what hell you have to go through just for a lousy home-coming… There has been some discussion as to whether the gals like the colors + their gowns after the whole thing has been decided! I wish Ray were here!

1940 9:30 Just one more disappointment. No D.J. – Got a telegram this afternoon, but no details. I can’t imagine what would keep her from coming… Today, I’m afraid, saw nothing very important accomplished… I went bike-riding with some high school girls… I’m afraid I really don’t give a damn about the public opinion…

1941 Sun (What’ll I wear tomorrow?) I’ve aroused a few latent good intentions again… Know one reason I’m so discontented w/ myself is my weight! Cloudy – no Gable + Lombard – special fr. Eleanor

1942 MON MR. WITMER UPPED IT TO $25.00; BUT I STILL SAID NO… MAYBE I’M NUTS, I DON’T KNOW…

1943 TUES Finally wrote to Leonard. – Was out in markets all day. (Mrs. Stote does not handle me right!) Go to bed early, dummy!

OCTOBER 3

1939 and here it is “tomorrow” – I’ve been to hell + back again. – For a while, I really thought I was going to be Queen – Then when I brought my little envelope home and opened it up to an apparently blank sheet of paper! – but it wasn’t blank – Marie is Queen

1940 GA, BUT I’M WOOZY, CAN HARDLY HOLD UP THE HEAD… FINISHED THEM DAMN OLE THEMES (REACTION TO CORRECTING GRAMMAR ERRORS) WISH I COULD HAVE HAD MY WALK AGAIN TONIGHT… 2ND PERIOD ASSEMBLY WAS BAD…. I MUST CLAMP DOWN. BUT GEE, I DON’T BLAME ANY OF THEM FOR WHAT THEY DO… I’M A LUCKY TEACHER!

1941 – GEE, THE “U” GAME – WHAT A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT! – I WAS W/ MARIE + CLARA – FELT HORRIBLE ALL DAY. DIDN’T GET AROUND TO CASHING CHECK. I’M A MESS.

1942 SAT. HA! – WE BEAT THEM! … VERY satisfactory EVENING WE WERE ALL TOGETHER: SHIRLEE + BILL [AFTER SOME DIFFICULTY, I GUESS]… D.J. + BOB [LeonardGOT DONNA FOR BOB] … AND Leonard + ME… WE LINGERED LOVINGLY AT THE PALACE FOR AGES… SAT OUT IN FRONT FOR A TIME, too…

1943 SUN CALLED ON LOIS + SULLY. MET ROG – A SOLID CITIZEN… I TOOK VIC TO DINNER IT WAS NICE. HE’S CERTAINLY DIFFERENT. THAN WHAT HE WAS…

SEPTEMBER 28

1939 Looked at 1939 Monogram – Payne did a nice job – Best high school annual I’ve seen – I might try + get Bill McC to work on the book if I can – I’m really worried about election – I only hope I’m not entirely eliminated –

1940 Sat WELL I CERTAINLY GALLIVANTED AROUND TODAY… PAID OUT ABOUT $50! (WISH I KNEW WHAT TO DO ABOUT BILL AT BUSINESS OFFICE) – SARI AND I HAD A V. NICE LUNCHEON FOR MARG DOWN AT SHRIVERS’… LINEN SHOWER… GOT TO TALK TO MARIE A LITTLE… I COULD SCRATCH ROLF’S EYES OUT… I SAW D.J. TONIGHT… I THINK SHE WILL COME SEE ME NEXT WEEKEND… GOT MY GLASSES AND A SNAZZY NEW SQUEEZER… DIDN’T SEE L TODAY.

1941 Rather quiet Sunday. Marie + I read funnies in bed – breakfast w/ folks – dinner. – M.J. Willging came in from LeMars (so glad to talk to her) Jo stopped in before she left. Looked so swell. – Marie + I ate at Java Rm. – D.J. + I went to “Love Crazy”

1942 MON MR. SPITZNAGEL WANTS ME TO DO SOME DECORATING ON A PRIVATE Club – SHOULD BE FUN…

1943 TUES A NASTY LITTLE DAY… FRAUGHT WITH MAKING CALLS FOR THE UNITED STATES TREASURY! – I WISH THAT REPORT WERE GOING TO LOOK BETTER! – I THINK I SHOULD GO SEE Mlle SOON. FELT PHLEGMATIC TODAY – LOW. READ THOMAS WOLF atop 5TH ave bus.

SEPTEMBER 27

1939 Carp is so swell to me – comes after me + takes me home every Wed creative wr. night – That boy will go places, I think. He + Stan ragged me about being “Queen” all evening – ha!

1940 FRI GEE, HOW SWELL… WENT TO GAME WITH BOB + LEONARD… THEY WERE SO DAMN SWEET TO ME… WE SAW “HAZEL” AT THE PALACE… (I WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING IF IT HAD BEEN BILL SHE WAS WITH!) I FIND THAT PROXIMITY ENDANGERS THE DURABILITY OF THE PATCH ON MY HEART… PROXIMITY OF THE GUY WHAT DONE IT… BOTH OF THEM ARE GETTING SO G. LOOKING

1941 Exhausting Morning – Felt rotten – Cold this aft. – saw Jo + Iver. – Marie is staying with me – D.J. + Bettie Edwards were over + drank tea

1942 SUN I THINK IT WAS TONIGHT I READ ALDOUS HUXLEY’S “After Many a Summer Dies the Swan” – QUITE UPSETTING.. I CAN’T FORGET IT…

1943 MON – LA, BUT I HATED TO GO TO WORK. HERE I WAS BUT RUSHED ALL DAY. SHOULD BEEN BONDING

SEPTEMBER 20

1939 Went to Creative Writing – I guess I’ll be taking it for another year – B. Funey is in the class – Carp + Bob + I listened to B.L. + I.L. fight afterwards

1940 FRI GEE, home again – sleeping with Eleanor – seems almost as if we’d never been gone, really… Dragged her out to school where she met D.Gregory. Saw Howard, Bob, Mr. E. – it rained – we talked

1941 2:00 I AM A HELLUVA GAL… I REVOLT ME… I AM NEVER HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE – MR. S. STOPPED IN THIS MORNING… LOVE HIM… SWELL GUY… HAS A LITTLE JOB UP AT Cole’s FOR ME… CHILS + MARIE WERE OVER FOR DINNER; WE WENT TO THE GAME + TO A MOVIE –

1942 SUN I THINK IT WAS THIS DAY I WAS SO ACUTELY tortured… MY GOD! – IT WAS TERRIBLE. HOW CAN Eleanor DO WHAT SHE DOES… MADE EVERYTHING COMPLETELY miserable FOR ME. –

1943 MON PAIN + DESOLATION. I WAS FULL OF SADNESS + HEARTSICK WHEN I GOT BACK; THEN BARBARA IS GOING BACK TO TEXAS. I MOVED IN with PEG + LOIS + DONNA… I HOPE IT WILL WORK OUT OKAY. I’M SOUL-TIRED.

SEPTEMBER 17

1939 Sun This morning Marg, Marie + Dot + I had our little sisters over here for breakfast. – Pottery, rolls, scrambled eggs. – Very nice, but no-one ate enough. Rose + I went to our church. – I washed my hair + cut out a blouse.

1940 Tues 1:30 Brittle, beautiful, vivid… Gertrude Lawrence… The play wasn’t nearly good enough for her… Every time I see a play I wonder if really maybe I have something to offer – or is it a dream

1941 12:00 Wed Wonder how Bill + Leonard liked creative writing… if they got in the class. I was at a faculty party – But I shouldn’t sneer; I enjoyed myself + didn’t feel at all out of place. Had both classes out of doors.

1942 THURS I GIVE UP… Stan ASKED ME OUT… HE WOULD HAVE TALKED; HAD WE THE OPPORTUNITY! [DAD, of course, WAS LISTENING TO A BASEBALL Game] I DON’T SEE WHY HAROLD + STAN HAVE IT IN FOR Leonard SO… I FEEL LIKE everybody KNOWS WHAT GOES ON BUT ME!

1943 FRI. [OH, I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK! NEVER NEVER] EVERETT KROEGER USED ME FOR A MODEL… THIS AFT. I WAS LATE FOR SUPPER… MOTHER HAD BILL + OLGA, PUNKIN PIE FOR DESSERT. SHIRLEE, VIRGINIA, JOHN ALL CAME OVER, LATER. I’M TIRED. AND I DON’T WANT TO GO!

SEPTEMBER 11

1939 MON – Helped 2 “little” sisters register out at school to-day. I only hope I do as well for myself! – Marie told me that Ray asked about me Sat. night (He was at the dance) – She really emphasized the fact that she’d seen me out at all the dances.

1940 11:30 Yes, thank God, they did come! – After I had given up all hope, they rallied in about 6:00… I was actually shaking I was so happy. It was so good to see them! – We didn’t really do anything. I took them to dinner, we rode around… showed them my room… we ate popcorn (sitting 4 across in C’s car) + etc… Glad!!

1941 Thur Convocation – I almost didn’t sit on the stage with the faculty! Emil played Bach for Bob + me after lunch – He’s a darling.

1942 FRI GEE, WHAT A mixed-up DAY… WE DIDN’T GET STARTED UNTIL 10:30 – my FAULT… MRS. C IS marvelous! – I’LL CERTAINLY LOOK HER UP IF I’M GOING TO BE IN Mlps! … LEONARD CALLED – WE and A PHONEY R. CORBER WENT TO SEE John K.

1943 SAT We are right + perfect for one another, I know… We went to the dance for just a little while… Magic on the porch… Alone together (He could have me any time he wished)… Met Marie this noon for lunch. Then Leonard. We washed our hair. – such intimate pleasure. His back is so beautiful, so brown, so smooth.

SEPTEMBER 6

1939 11:30 Worked on “Molly” – ( I certainly hope she turns out okay) Leonard + friend were out at school – I couldn’t concentrate any too well – Margie + Ness + Marie + I went for a ride + ran out of gas on Phyllis Ave. – (My head aches!)

1940 3:00 Bob + I talked until 1:45… Maybe I said too much; I hope not… He is the best friend I have I think. He thinks as much of L. as I do. We were over to Eides and I met Don Gregory. One good reason I wish I could be at school next year! Seems good to be home…

1941 Sat Went to my first faculty meeting! – I’d do anything for Kranskow… Bob + L + I worked out at school this aft. Ness, Chils + Marie + I went on a picnic… Moonlight –

1942 SUN VIRGINIA + I WENT TO Holiday Inn. – MEDIOCRE IT WAS GREY and RAINY ALL DAY… BUT A BEAUTIFUL, MISTY NIGHT, withall… I READ Cheney, LISTENED TO TSYCHOWSKYS 6th THIS AFTERNOON and GOT MY HAIR WASHED. Gee. I WISH MY FUTURE WERE SETTLED. FOO to LIMBOS.

1943 MON Leonard came over soon after lunch… We went out to school. Oh God, it smells so CLEAN, so GOOD… Mr. Eide is the same, thank goodness… Bob + Shirley went to the dance with us. Leonard said should I stay? – Yes of course!

SEPTEMBER 1

1939 10:00 To-day there were air-raids over Polish cities. – Hitler seems to be determined to carry out his plans. – Thank God I live in America! – It doesn’t seem like anything can prevent a general European war now- I hope we can stay out of it!

1940 10:35 I hope I live through tomorrow – I feel so ignorant. But I’ve got to build up the ego + grit the teeth and live till the weekend

1941 Mon It was good to be with Marie + Chils – More than ever I want to be clean and wholesome + vital… It is certainly their greatest asset. I am much too self-centered and melancholy. There is no sense to it.

1942 TUES DAVID STOPPED BY TONIGHT TO APOLOGIZE FOR LAST NIGHT… I TOLD him IT WAS QUITE UNNECESSARY… HE WANTED TO FIND OUT IF I REALLY MEANT WHAT I SAID… and WAS SURPRISED WHEN HE FOUND I DID.

1943 WED

AUGUST 31

1939 11:30 Worked on Molly to-day – very slow stuff. – Marguerite + Sara + I went to “On Borrowed Time” – I wrote a follow up ad for Sylvia’s –

1940 10:45 It’s real and yet it isn’t… Here I am a School Teacher – I felt so very young in faculty meeting… Like I was one of the kids that got in by mistake… If anyone had said “boo” – I would have burst into tears… Silly, adolescent. But they are all very nice to me.

1941 Sun I sewed on my dirndl all day. It isn’t done yet… I shouldn’t do things quite so intensely I guess. Marie + Chils + I went to a marvelous Melwyn Douglas movie – Out to the airport + had hamburgers. They are swell. They can’t quite figure me out, I’m sure!

1942 MON FOR THE LAST TIME FROM YOU, MR. L! WE REALLY HAD A PRETTY NICE EVENING; BUT I DON’T LIKE THE WAS YOU’RE ALWAYS RAGGING ME… WHEN I SAID I WOULDN’T GO OUT WITH HIM AGAIN IF HE DIDN’T TELL ME WHAT HE STARTED to, I really MEANT IT!

1943 TUES.

AUGUST 21

1939 Mon 11:55 Swell day – Perfect – talked to Mr. Eide about everything - + Marie is staying with me to-night. Mick called – he has been in Pittsburgh

1940 Migosh, maybe 2 weeks from today I will be teaching school. Went down to LeMars – Perfect set up I don’t crave to teach, but I think it is worth $1050! – Mr. K. was swell. Husk, Jeff + Clyde picked us up after the show tonight.

1941 Thurs Jo got a $1125 job at Phillip – Gee, I’m so darn glad! Was ambitious this morning, accomplished a little. – Went out to school… Brandon to the movies tonight

1942 FRI GEE WHAT AN AWFUL AFTERNOON… Everyone WAS owly… I WAS QUITE UPSET over LEONARD’S OBVIOUSLY BEING UPSET… I WANTED TO TELL HIM THAT MY DATE WITH Stan LAST NIGHT DIDN’T MEAN A THING BUT I COULDN’T … HE SAID HE’S “sick of love” I offered TO comfort him w/ APPLES

1943 SAT

JULY 2

1939 Sunday 11:45 We went down to Sioux City today. Took Sara, too – Ate at Bishops + saw Wayne Morris. (I’ll have something to remember Allan by!) ( I died to go swimming all day to show off my new Jantzen)

1940 Well, I’m going to a dance out at Neptune Sat with “Hunk” Anderson… Hope it will be fun… I wonder if Bill will be mad… Took Marie to dinner… Saw Fosters’ home… looked at Carpenter

1941 12:10 I’m getting bored… (there should be more men in this Colony) Mike + I did have fun talking with Mr. Waldron. About his plays No Silver Saints + M. Auc. stops by

1942 THURS HAD M’FORTUNE TOLD BY A STRANGE, AMAZING CREATURE… BEST, MOST ACCURATE, I’VE EVER HAD… SHE SAID I WAS GOING away… WOULD BE successful… THAT I WAS GOING TO GET A PRESENT of JEWELRY… THE PRESENT SHE DESCRIBED PERFECTLY… EVEN A “DARK MAN” - ha… SAID I’D BE MARRIED IN 2 years… Leonard WAS OVER –

1943 FRI It was Bill McCormick who called – He came in at noon. I met him at Penn Station. We had lunch. Talked like crazy… Gave of my blood to R. Cross Bill + I came up to Apt. … Then my cousin Bill took me to dinner.. Over to his apt to hear records then

 

 

JUNE 9

1939 (14th) 10:45 – If there are many more gloomy, cold, rainy days – Haggled around on details of store-window – I’m sick

1940 Sunday… It’s all crazy and clear out of proportion… all I think about is Leonard.. its gotten to the stage where I can’t even work anymore… Della + I talked this afternoon about men etc… I was upholding – sort of – she insisting they were all ratty… I was inclined to agree with her when Rosie informed us Leonard had been walking with Blossom.

1941 Well kid, we didn’t get to hear Russ Morgan – except over the radio – Pressed clothes, decided I would not go to Plymouth; called up Jean Park, met her for a coke, talked, decided I should go - ? ! ! – Chils, Nessa, Marie + Margeurite were over –

1942 1:00 Felt awful most of the day – not physically, either… Bob + D.J. + John + I went to the Carnival – Bob’s going to work at Morrell. Too late

1943 WED Got 4 seams sewn over at Barbara’s. But we had fun anyhow… Ate until we were stuffed She is going to be married in August.

MAY 24

1939 11:15 Honor's Day Exercises in Chapel this morning. - All School Picnic Ray + Mick + Marie + I went - I came back for Creative Wr. + I didn't have to read my play again! 

1940 Fri Wrote a stupid test this morning. Studied this aft, and wrote another one... I have 2 make-up assignments + my term paper + then I can start making up Art.

1941 11:30 "And this too shall pass away" I hope! - Too bad my last few days have to be spent in such a hectic fashion. Slaved all day - I do too much. Don't make the kids work.

1942 Sun Gee, I'm pooped. Marie + I lay out in the back yard this morning. Dinner christening at Landseths... Kids came after me we looked for Lefty. - D.J. + I + Marie went to Shanghai Gesture

1943 MON HM, FEEL almost HOOMAN, FOR A CHANGE! - AFTER ALL THAT sleep LAST NIGHT, WOKE UP LATE; TODAY was HECTIC... "DOROTHY" AND I FELT IT KEENLY! - WE WENT TO A LOUSY FASHION SHOW AT THE HOTEL N. Yorker. I STAYED UNTIL THE Bitter END. HAD A Bitter MARTINI. - IRONED tonight.

MAY 23

1939 10:00 I am really tired - Did about 5 of the big cartoons today. - Tonight some of the gals went on a picnic - I didn't get home in time to go to the show with Ray, darn it - 

1940 Thurs Planned to attend my last classes in College today, and they didn't meet! - Cleaned out my two art desks + got started studying for Teaching of Eng. Exam tonight.

1941 11:30 It's a matter of living through " the rest of it now - Wish I didn't worry about this deal so much. Thank God, I've taught my last class.

1942 Sat 3:00 (Oh Darling, I've got it bad -) Mister Payne called me for lunch, but I was meeting D.J. + Marie - We went to the dance tonight... Silly fun. Saw Auggie kids all over.

1943 SUN NO chance TO RELAX - I'M IN A helluva MOOD - ME Marie FOR breakfast (SHE TALKED AN ARM OFF ME) - WASHED MY HAIR, READ THE Times ON THE ROOF; NEARLY died OF FRUSTRATION WHEN 5 buses PASSED ME OOP... LOIS + SULLY + I SAW THE APT. (Gee, I HOPE IT WORKS OUT!) (I FORGOT my money, couldn't eat with em) Couldn't get to see Ballet