OCTOBER 19

1939 Thurs. – Was up to H.S. to-day. – I adore Lois Cowan… Saw Marg after school. We had cokes in the Huddle + talked about pr. teaching. She has 10 hrs in already. – Marguerite came over to-night, as I didn’t get much done –

1940 12:00 Slaved all day. It was perfectly beautiful out and I begrudged the time I spent inside… Got a box of candy from Eleanor and wedding pictures from Howard… I would give anything to hear from Leonard – I hope I can sleep till about 9:00 it makes me so mad I always wake up about 6:45!

1941 Sun Got home abt 7:00 – Palace, cokes. Went to church w/ Mrs. R. – ate a huge Sunday dinner. – talked w/ Blanche + Allan, Lorraine + Alberta.

1942 MON WE HAD A REHEARSAL tonight AT THE COLISEUM… THOSE BABES RATHER GIVE ME A PAIN; they’re TOO DAMN GOOD LOOKIN’ + CONSEQUENTLY MAKE NO ATTEMPT AT ANYTHING else! V.VOSS BROUGHT ME HOME… Leonard DIDN’T CALL ME…

1943

OCTOBER 9

1939 Mon – down at H.S. – (practice teaching looms up!) Printed posters to-day. Bob informed me that M. Allan considers my attitude toward Marie as revoltingly patronizing. - !! – I’m trying to make up to Marie for what she seems to be getting from the rest of the girls.

1940 11:00 – I feel very alive – almost normal… must be I’m tired… worked at school tonight for a while… Blanche + I guzzled cokes + talked about my l. life as usual… must be my desire for vicarious experience popping up again… Hell of a teaching day. –

1941 Thurs Hello stoopid – Nobody but a dumdum like you would forget about the heater for about 4 hours! – or be so slow getting started about reducing – Maybe you don’t know it, Babe, but that piece of peach pie was last pastry you’re going to eat for some time.

1942 FRI Leonard + I helped Bob with the stage until 6:30. Honestly, I don’t know how he’d have finished. Leonard broke down + asked me to go; Bob + Ruth Kingsberry went with us afterward in to the maelstrom of the PALACE; then we went over to ALL SAINTS and talked in the Discussion parlor.

1943 SAT I SLEPT LATE… WE HAD BRUNCH LATE SCRAMBLED EGGS + TOAST… THEN LOIS, WEEZY + I WENT FOR A FERRY BOAT RIDE TO STATEN ISLAND – SAW THE BIG BOATS IN THE SUNSHINE + WIND… THE STATUE of LIBERTY… VIC CALLED ABOUT SIX – CAME OVER ABOUT 7:00 MINUS A MOLAR, PLUS A FEW BEERS, AND WE WENT TO WATCH ON THE RHINE. HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. #4

OCTOBER 3

1939 and here it is “tomorrow” – I’ve been to hell + back again. – For a while, I really thought I was going to be Queen – Then when I brought my little envelope home and opened it up to an apparently blank sheet of paper! – but it wasn’t blank – Marie is Queen

1940 GA, BUT I’M WOOZY, CAN HARDLY HOLD UP THE HEAD… FINISHED THEM DAMN OLE THEMES (REACTION TO CORRECTING GRAMMAR ERRORS) WISH I COULD HAVE HAD MY WALK AGAIN TONIGHT… 2ND PERIOD ASSEMBLY WAS BAD…. I MUST CLAMP DOWN. BUT GEE, I DON’T BLAME ANY OF THEM FOR WHAT THEY DO… I’M A LUCKY TEACHER!

1941 – GEE, THE “U” GAME – WHAT A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT! – I WAS W/ MARIE + CLARA – FELT HORRIBLE ALL DAY. DIDN’T GET AROUND TO CASHING CHECK. I’M A MESS.

1942 SAT. HA! – WE BEAT THEM! … VERY satisfactory EVENING WE WERE ALL TOGETHER: SHIRLEE + BILL [AFTER SOME DIFFICULTY, I GUESS]… D.J. + BOB [LeonardGOT DONNA FOR BOB] … AND Leonard + ME… WE LINGERED LOVINGLY AT THE PALACE FOR AGES… SAT OUT IN FRONT FOR A TIME, too…

1943 SUN CALLED ON LOIS + SULLY. MET ROG – A SOLID CITIZEN… I TOOK VIC TO DINNER IT WAS NICE. HE’S CERTAINLY DIFFERENT. THAN WHAT HE WAS…

OCTOBER 2

1939 Well, tomorrow at this time, I reckon I’ll know if I’m eliminated – or an attendant – or (miracle of miracles) the other! I observed down at H.S. all morning – I’ll be under Lois Cowan

1940 PHOOEY, I’M GOING TO BED. I SPOSE I’LL BE SORRY TOMORROW… BUT WHEN IS TOMORROW? – AFTER DINNER TONIGHT I TOOK THE KEENEST WALK… NIGHT WAS WINDY, RAINY, PERFECT – WENT CLEAR OUT TO A HILL… A PERFECT CLIMAX I KNEW IT WOULD LOOK THE WAY IT DID… STARRY SOUTH… THE TOWN, LOW, SHINING, LIGHTED –

1941 Babe, what you need is a big dose of self-respect! ! And you’re not doing a damn thing about getting it! ! Okay okay okay!

1942 FRI I ASKED BOB OVER FOR DINNER. Wished I COULD HAVE ASKED Leonard too! – GEE, IF ONLY DAD HADN’T SAID + DID WHAT HE DID THIS summer! – SHIRLEY THOUGHT I WAS BEING DOUBLE X’ed – IT TURNED OUT TO BE HER. Leonard WOULDN’T GO WITH HAROLD + BILL – HA…

1943 SAT GEE, BUT WE HAD FUN; BUT I’M WORRIED VIC IS TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY – TOO MUCH SO. AND HE MUSN’T… PERHAPS HE JUST HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK… WE HAD A SWELL DINNER – MANHATTANS FIRST – CHICKEN + CHOCOLATE CAKE… (+ VIC’S ICE CREAM!)… AND TO THE WALDORF – TSK TSK.

SEPTEMBER 29

1939 Seemed like all I did today was eat apple pie – Observed all aft. in H.S. – Forensics scavenger party tonight Quite –

1940 SUN WELL, HERE I AM BACK IN MY DULL, STUPID EXISTENCE OF SCHOOL TEACHING… OF COURSE I GOT NOTHING DONE… BUT WASHED MY HAIR, VISITED VIRGINIA AT THE HOSPITAL… THE POOR KID HAS REALLY BEEN TO HELL + BACK… HORRIBLE!… SHE ALMOST HERSELF AGAIN NOW THOUGH… GOT 2 SWELL LETTERS FROM “MABEL”… THAT KID IS ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS… HEARD CLAIRE DE LUNE ALL BY MYSELF IN THE DARK… THOUGHT ABOUT LEONARD…

1941 Mon There was no “savour” to today. – My fault, I imagine. Was 5 minutes late, this morning! (Never, again, Marion) Wrote to Mrs. R. – Wonder if Eleanor will be married? – Leonard wasn’t in school. – It’s raining – cold.

1942 TUES BOB HAD US ALL UP TO Luverne TO DINNER – BILL, JOHN K, BOB B, SHIRLEY, LEONARD AND I… LEONARD HAD ANOTHER JAG OF IGNORING ME ALL EVENING… HE HAD A HORRIBLE cold… I DIDN’T CARE… BOB’S FOLKS ARE SWELL…

1943 WED MUCH BETTER. MRS. STOTE APOLOGIZED FOR CALLING ME INARTICULATE. I’M GLAD SHE DID FOR I RESENTED IT… WENT OVER TO THE B. CONCERT - LOIS, DONNA + I VIC + GEORGE CAME + SAT with US… IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL EVENING – PINK SKY. STILL NO NEWS FROM PRIVATE PAYNE.

SEPTEMBER 20

1939 Went to Creative Writing – I guess I’ll be taking it for another year – B. Funey is in the class – Carp + Bob + I listened to B.L. + I.L. fight afterwards

1940 FRI GEE, home again – sleeping with Eleanor – seems almost as if we’d never been gone, really… Dragged her out to school where she met D.Gregory. Saw Howard, Bob, Mr. E. – it rained – we talked

1941 2:00 I AM A HELLUVA GAL… I REVOLT ME… I AM NEVER HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE – MR. S. STOPPED IN THIS MORNING… LOVE HIM… SWELL GUY… HAS A LITTLE JOB UP AT Cole’s FOR ME… CHILS + MARIE WERE OVER FOR DINNER; WE WENT TO THE GAME + TO A MOVIE –

1942 SUN I THINK IT WAS THIS DAY I WAS SO ACUTELY tortured… MY GOD! – IT WAS TERRIBLE. HOW CAN Eleanor DO WHAT SHE DOES… MADE EVERYTHING COMPLETELY miserable FOR ME. –

1943 MON PAIN + DESOLATION. I WAS FULL OF SADNESS + HEARTSICK WHEN I GOT BACK; THEN BARBARA IS GOING BACK TO TEXAS. I MOVED IN with PEG + LOIS + DONNA… I HOPE IT WILL WORK OUT OKAY. I’M SOUL-TIRED.

AUGUST 2

1939 11:25 Managed to accomplish quite a bit today + not mind it!) In fact, I enjoyed myself! I’ve got to finish out at school, this wk. (Leonard was out today)

1940 (ditto – very much so – acutely so in fact) Well darn Bill – Clara saw him today. He has been out with Hazel! Got some borders fixed for Fosters finally – Bob, Dick H. + I talked, sang, rounds – listened to D. play Boogie Woogie He is brilliant. Too bad Leonard missed out. Spence was out again.

1941 Sat Wow – what a day. Helped strike 3:00 set tonight – talked with Barney – put on my formal + went to the party – sleeping with Lois tonight. Steven has our room

1942 SUN WE HAD 2 awfully SWEET SOLDIERS TO DINNER…MOTHER “PICKED THEM UP” AT CHURCH… WORE MY NOO PINAFORE… WENT UP TO DELL RAPIDS WITH David… PLEASANT enuff AFTERNOON; BUT I SHOULD HAVE LET WELL ENOUGH ALONE… WE GOT BORED BEFORE THE EVENING WAS over. I WAS sad.

1943 MON

JULY 27

1939 10:30 Thurs I pulled a wood tick out of Rex’s eyelid. – He’s a very sweet dog. Went to a tea for Jean Perry – Saw Marsha V. B – Honestly more people are either married or engaged!!

1940 9:30 Sat And me without a date – (I actually would have turned Bill down – if he had called) I hope Hunk didn’t misunderstand me the other night – I want to go to the dance Monday! – I utterly loathed myself all day today – Diddled around all day with housework – Ate alla time.

1941 Sun Well I guess it really happened – I just re-read the letter (for the 20^th time) I’m sure I’ll have to go to New York now – maybe with Mina… We rehearsed + rehearsed for Too Many Girls (I feel fat – damn it!)

1942 MON LEONARD’S NAME WAS IN THE paper TO GO TOMORROW.. BUT CASE TOOK 5 of THE FELLAS UP TO VERMILION AND THEY WERE SWORN INTO THE ARMY ENLISTED RESERVE – Thank HEAVEN. THE DOPE DIDN’T LET ME KNOW UNTIL 10:30… BOB WAS HERE WHEN HE CAME… HE WAS ACTING UTTERLY IRRATIONALLY… I TRIED TO STAY ANNOYED; COULDN’T –

1943 TUES Heard Johnny Mercer… wrote Leonard. Hated Mrs. Stote today. LEONARD WRITES MORE RATIONALLY. HE IS CALMER NOW. THANK HEAVEN. HE HAS LEARNED MUCH. I FEEL AWFUL. SKETCHED PEARL + LOIS + SULLY + ME. 

JUNE 20

1939 9:50 – I laughed to myself intermittently all day. – However, I am wondering just who has the last laugh as my ear caught no faint ring of the telephone this evening. – I wrote Eleanor + told her all about it – She got a bang out of it – I wonder what Ray thought!

1940 1:30 Sketched all afternoon… This evening I introduced Peg + Jo – Egad, those two are absolutely irrepressible! Saw Leonard for a couple moments today – electric as ever. I hope I dream of him

1941 Got home about 8:00 – Hellish ride – Been getting ready all day. Can’t believe I’m going – Leonard called from Brookings – (It would have been horrible if I hadn’t even heard from him) – Butterflies in my stomach

1942 Sat Del’s staying w/ me tonight + I enameled wood-work this morning. I enjoy working like that. We sat out on the porch + talked

1943 SUN Felt restless, vaguely resentful. Wrote home + Leonard as usual. Walked over to Central Park + saw the Bache exhibit. Lois + Sully had company (+ my chocolate cake!) – We had a very swell dinner, w/ a nice roast. 

JUNE 3

1939 Saturday Our house is certainly Bedlam on Saturdays – but its fun – hair, cloth. washing, cooking, getting ready to go out, etc. – Tonight about 20 couples had a dinner-dance – I was too tired to have much fun –

1940 1:30 all the time, I keep thinking about Leonard… if he meant what he wrote… if he did, why he hasn’t done something about it… if he is too young, etc., etc. – Class day this morning… sweltering… Senior gals ate lunch down town… went to lousy banquet w. Spence

1941 11:00 RAIN! WELL, AFTER HECTIC STUFF, WE (US FAMILY) ARE FINALLY COMPARATIVELY PEACEFULL – WE SLUFFED AROUND FIELD’S THIS AFTERNOON. HAD HELLUVA TIME GETTING SETTLED FOR DINNER –

1942 Wed Oh God – FRUSTRATION – complete DISSATISFACTION WITH MYSELF… Knowing WHAT… started classes today… faculty meeting – John asked me for a date

1943 Thurs It was a warm New York day. Met Barbara Stern for Lunch. Felt sleepy for a while… better then. Spitz called; he was tired – ha. Lois just called. I think we’ll move this week-end! – Gee, hope it works!

 

MAY 23

1939 10:00 I am really tired - Did about 5 of the big cartoons today. - Tonight some of the gals went on a picnic - I didn't get home in time to go to the show with Ray, darn it - 

1940 Thurs Planned to attend my last classes in College today, and they didn't meet! - Cleaned out my two art desks + got started studying for Teaching of Eng. Exam tonight.

1941 11:30 It's a matter of living through " the rest of it now - Wish I didn't worry about this deal so much. Thank God, I've taught my last class.

1942 Sat 3:00 (Oh Darling, I've got it bad -) Mister Payne called me for lunch, but I was meeting D.J. + Marie - We went to the dance tonight... Silly fun. Saw Auggie kids all over.

1943 SUN NO chance TO RELAX - I'M IN A helluva MOOD - ME Marie FOR breakfast (SHE TALKED AN ARM OFF ME) - WASHED MY HAIR, READ THE Times ON THE ROOF; NEARLY died OF FRUSTRATION WHEN 5 buses PASSED ME OOP... LOIS + SULLY + I SAW THE APT. (Gee, I HOPE IT WORKS OUT!) (I FORGOT my money, couldn't eat with em) Couldn't get to see Ballet

MAY 22

1939 Mon 11:40 - Everything is swell - The frogs are croaking outside - It is cool and breezy... I accomplished nothing except a new pair of shoes today - Ray + I read Ogden Nash on the lawn this aft. - tonight I was already for bed + he came after me his sister was going to ship a little collie to Nebraska. We went out of town + picked it up. It was so small.

1940 Wed All school picnic - ha! - Clara + I spent the day giving out on The Girls. We barely finished in time to read the raw product in class. It went over. Mr. K was quite overcome after class at our leaving (Clara + Me) - 

1941 11:30 Hold your breath, kid - I think we're on the last stretch! - Finally got all the place cards printed - Under pressure - Senior Class play tomorrow

1942 Friday At least I got a whole slew of clothes washed today... Emil enlisted in the navy... Wilber got his notice for a physical. Peggy got a job... Chuck Harris was on Make Island! D.J. + I went for a ride

1943 SAT We went to a Party thrown by the American Newspaper Guild... People were singularly unimpressive! - H danced with me! - not badly, either. - Carmen Amaya + a hypnotist - floor-showed. The apt. is beautiful. Lois + Sully are to see it tomorrow, I hope. Lunch w/ Donna

MAY 18

1939 Thurs. 10:35 All this sleep is just too much for me. I am getting a habit. It's beautiful out doors tonight. You can see the lilacs + the dark garden 

1940 Sat. I was really hurt to think that I didn't rate well enough with the Webs to get asked to the society banquet... But I guess I can take it - there's nothing else to do! - helped D.J. pick out a coat - wrote with Clara tonight... Mr. Spitznagel called for a "date" Mon.

1941 12 - Sunday - For a change, I took Reeves' to dinner. - It was hot + windy - Didn't go to church worked on exam went over to school - Blanche, Dorothy + D rumbah-ed + conga-ed - I thought about Leonard. Wrote to Jo. Tom called

1942 Gee, what a wild picnic. Haven't had my hair pulled, my ears bitten so violently for a long time. WWW surprised me. Went to Alumnae Banquet w/ Clara

1943 TUES 11:30 Hell, both Donna + Mickey are deserting me. Donna's going home (as I thought)... Would Lois + Sully consider going in w/ me? today was fairly productive... H. School Boys badgered me; lifted my ego this morning. Luncheon this noon. Started Look Homeward Angel