NOVEMBER 29

1939 11:30 - Right now, I'm going to start reducing "tomorrow" - (Thanksgiving) I always have the most will power after I've eaten too much. To put it mildly I am a mess! (but I'll reform tomorrow)

1940 Fri Slept until 11:30 - Lovely... Went down town this aft. Saw people, wasted precious time Marg + Nessa + I enjoyed "remembering" tonight. Bill was supposed to call. Suppose he was angry at what I said yesterday Ha

1941 2:30 (GEE, I'LL HAVE A TIME LEARNING TO GET UP A MORNING AFTER THIS 10:30 A.M. JAG!) LEONARD MANAGED TO SPOIL MOST OF MY DAY BUT SALVAGED A FEW PRECIOUS HOURS - ) JO WAS OVER - GAVE HER SOME BALLET LESSONS FOR "ESSIE" - HOPE SHE DOES GRAY - 

1942 12:30 THE DAY DIDN'T END ON AS SOUR A NOTE AS I HAD EXPECTED... I WENT OVER TO BACH'S THIS AFT. FOR A WHILE, WROTE SOME LETTERS TONIGHT - DURING AGONIZING VOID FROM 6-8 - LATER ELEANOR + BILL + I WENT OVER TO DOW'S AND ATE CHOCLATE ICE CREAM...

1943

NOVEMBER 28

1939 1:00 HEAVEN help me if I don't get up at a more reasonable hour tomorrow morning. (Bed always seems most comfortable about the time you have to leave it!) Finished the 1st little dummy today I hope it isn't too extravagant...

1940 We ate at home today... It was more work for Mother than I planned on, even if it was just us 3... Bob, D.J. + Emil came over tonight. Bob has a new suit. Emil disgusted me a little. No Sense. Bob is so damn sweet.

1941 FRI I HOPE THE NEXT TIME I FALL IN LOVE IT WILL BE WITH SOMEONE WHO POSSESSES A LITTLE UNDERSTANDING + COOPERATIVENESS. IT WILL BE HARD TO FORGET LEONARD, CONSIDERING HIS RELATIVE PROXIMITY. WE WERE OVER AT D.J'S - POPCORN, BEER, RECORDS - AND PHLEGMATIC CONSTITUENTS - DAMN.

1942 SAT WE DIDN'T GET UP TILL 9:30... HAD SCRAMBLED EGGS IN THE KITCHEN... NESSAS CERTAINLY HAVE THINGS "NICE"... HELPED LEONARD PUT THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON MENUS AND TOOK THEM DOWN; WENT HOME + CHANGED, TOOK JEAN GIBSON TO LUNCH AT THE Town Club... MET VARIOUS PEEPUL... JEAN GAVE ME HER LOVELY AQUA MITTENS... I BOUGHT SOME BLUE STOCKINGS, A WHITE SLIP... SAW CLARA Joyce + IVER THIS AFT. I SHOULD HAVE SPENT TONIGHT with Clara - DARN LEONARD!

1943

NOVEMBER 27

1939 11:00 - And I was the gal who was going to start the dieting to-day! - Well there's always tomorrow! (I brought a chocolate cookie + Mlle to bed with me.) We had initiation of new members - it was very impressive -

1940 HOME - I WAS SO MAD; HAD MY REPORTS (6 WKS) HALF DONE - COME 3:15, COULD NOT FIND! - DO OVER, AND DAD WAITING! - LEFT EVERYTHING IN A MESS. SOME JOB TO COME BACK TO! ROADS WERE LOUSY, BUT WE MADE FAIRLY GOOD TIME. 

1941 GLAD TO GET OUT - EVEN IF IT WAS A BLIND DATE. FELT LIKE HELL THIS A.M. - CLEANED HOUSE... DINNER - TURKEY - LOVELY. SAW "THIN MAN"... AUTO SHOW - DYNAMITE - BACK OF SHERM'S HEAD REMINDED ME OF LEONARD. DAMN - FUN DANCING. 

1942 FRI STAYING WITH VIRGINIA... SHE HAS A GREAT DEAL TO HER - MORE THAN I GAVE HER CREDIT FOR - MARGUERITE  AND PEGGY WERE THERE FOR A WHILE. PEGGY IS THE ACME OF SELF- INDULGENCE... MARGUERITE of CRITICISM... HAD LUNCH WITH NAVY UNIFORM TODAY - ummm. ATTRACTIVE - HE CALLED FOR A DATE TONIGHT, too. If HE ISN'T MARRIED, I THINK I'LL HELP out WITH THE NAVY PROMOTION... 

1943

NOVEMBER 26

1939 Sunday. I just wrote 2 letters. - I've neglected Eleanor awfly - Well, I at least washed my hair + fixed my nails today. - And Sari + Marguerite + I went to a Charles Laughton thriller "Jamaica Inn" - so to bed.

1940 Gee, one more day to go - Tomorrow I'll be home! ... Wonder if we're going to Met... Don't know what clothes to wear. Fr. Class Play... pretty bad... If I hurry up + go to bed, it won't be long till morning - (Anyhow I can't think of anything important to write about!)

1941 Wed FEEL A LITTLE RIGHTEOUS - CLEANED UP THE ART ROOM - FELLAS WANTED ME TO GO Down Town w. THEM. NOPE. SO I WALKED HOME ALONE - PHOOEY... DESULTORY DAY. BOB WENT TO MLPS.

1942 THURS A VERY DULL DAY... I WORKED diligently ALL MORNING. CLEANING, GETTING THE TABLE SET. WE HAD A 20 POUND GOOSE... I READ MADAME BOVARY DIDN'T FEEL SO REPULSED BY IT AS NANA - HORRIBLE WOMEN - SOMETHING LIKE ME.

1943

NOVEMBER 25

1939 1:30 SAT. - I GUESS ALL THAT CUSSED NEED THAT PERVADED MY system is worn out - I had felt horribly nasty all day. - I wasted all afternoon "playing" in the act room (I felt like screaming all the time) - Bob + I went to the Sc. Party FUN. Bob + L + Bill + I went together until now

1940 12:00 Not quite so litterly nauseated with myself as I was about half an hour before - Did exercises about 25 minutes, took a bawth... Mentally + physically, have been mollycoddling myself long enough. More than anything I want to lose 15 pounds... Yet I seem to lack the guts to do anything about it. 

1941 Tues HAAKENSON HAS ABSOLUTELY NO INHIBITIONS THAT'S WHAT MAKES HIM SO MUCH FUN. - D.J. + I WENT TO ORCH. CONCERT - ASSIMILATED HIM AFTERWARD - BOB + LEONARD WERE TOO BUSY TO GO W/ US!

1942 WED. WENT OVER TO DONNA JEANS - WAS GLAD I DID... I'M SURE SHE LIKES ME - SHE'S JUST IN LOVE with LARRY... ITS COLD TONIGHT - SNOWED. BUT nice. WE ATE hamburgers DOWN AT Coney Island!

1943

NOVEMBER 24

1939 FRI. ROTTEN, LOUSY! - Went over plan with Mr. Eide and Leonard. - Okay - But sort of a let-down after all that pressure. - I never really know what to do next. - I felt so restless + depressed after walking home in the mist with Leonard.

1940 I'm still in a mist - only it's a fog, this time... I looked forward to seeing Freddie all day - Then act like a dope when I do - Nuts. His home is quite like I thought it would be... leather furniture... nice things... I was overcome with shyness, when I should have been vivacious. Can't I ever do anything right?

1941 Mon - GEE, I LIKE TO DRAW IN THAT SKETCH CLASS... LIKE TO HAVE A DEPT. PARTY! DID GESSO PANELS... I THINK LEONARD DELIBERATELY TRIES TO MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE... I'M IGNORING IT - OR TRYING TO - SPITZNAGEL WAS OUT - PSYCHIC - EMBARRASSING FAUT FAUX MATCH!

1942 TUES I STEPPED ON THEM A LITTLE - THEY QUIETED DOWN - FOR ABOUT HALF THE PERIOD... I'VE BEEN READING Nana - FRENCH REALISM - UGH... A SOUTH'N BOY - G.I. TRIED TO PICK ME UP THIS AFTERNOON - "HE SAID HIS NAME WAS GEORGE..."

1943

NOVEMBER 23

1939 THURS 2:00 I FEEL TOO MARVELOUS.  I guess its all the sleep I've been getting! Stayed home again this aft. - I really get much more done that way - people aren't always popping in and out - Dad + a duck came home - we had the latter + Bill + O for dinner - Went out to school. Bob is swell.

1940 3:00 Here we go again!... I actually think Frederick means what he says. He seems terribly sincere, at any rate. We went up to Sioux City with Blanch + Allan, Foggy - very - on way back. I felt very warm + secure + protected, however - Hope I sleep till 10 tomorrow... (Gee, I didn't write Mother!)

1941 1:30 SUNDAY - FOR YOUR 23 YEARS, DOPE, YOU CAN CERTAINLY BE ADOLESCENT - LIKE NOT BEING ABLE TO ACCEPT THE FACT OF

1942 MON 12 A-A-A-H, Fooey to teaching... Those gals are a bunch of little felines. WASHED MY HAIR THIS MORNING, TRAIPSED Down Town. 

1943

NOVEMBER 22

1939 WED STAYED Home until 2:30 today- got a start on layouts. - tutored my English poopil (he knows about as much as I) - Met T. - brought home hamburgers + ice cream cones for supper (Mother varnished the kitchen floor) - Went to Cr. Wr.

1940 10:00 Hellish day, again. Felt doped all week. Don't seem to give a damn about anything - this is AWFUL... I am doing a horribly sloppy job... and I mustn't! Hope I have the guts to do something with this! Migosh, I can't flunk out on my first job... TOMORROW! So to Bed. 

1941 SATURDAY - DESULTORY - GETTING COLD. ALL SAINTS POSTERS... OVER TO NAN'S - FARRAGHER, JANICE - NOT AS BAD AS I ANTICIPATED

1942 1:10 I worked from 11:00 until 5:30 Don + I had quite a party, wine, cheese Finished little man over the bar. He is quite gay. Had dinner (dessert bar) with John + Leonard. Leonard talked a good deal - about himself, mostly. 

1943

NOVEMBER 21

1939 TUES - WOW! - What a slump. - struggled out to callitch - I accomplished nil. - when I should have worked after dinner I collapsed on the davenport. - where I stayed until time for bed - Chum  I hope you do better tomorrow- 

1940 1:00 I'm not sure it was worth struggling through the effort - guess so - saw "Little Foxes" up in Sioux City... Bitter, raw, rugged... (I still would like to act...) No letter today, either. 

1941 EMIL'S RECITAL... I WAS TOO SYMPATHETICALLY UPSET TO ENJOY IT. HELPED LEONARD GET HIS POSTERS DONE THIS AFT (WILL HE EVER BREAK DOWN AGAIN?) - HAD WONDERFUL ROAST VENISON FOR DINNER... so WHAT ? ? ? ? ? ?

1942 SAT. (I wonder if Bob would have kissed me goodbye if we hadn't been accompanied by Ray - Valentine?) - I had a side-car - I hope I shall meet him again somehow

1943

NOVEMBER 20

1939 Well my first quizz is in...it was a lousy job. - I swear that next time I shall spend at least a wk on it - instead of 8 hrs. (the last 8 hrs.) B. Johnson typed it for me. - Missed her dinner to do it.. She gave me a B. present too.

We had a Philo party over at Mess tonight. 

1940 12:55 Stayed home tonight. Wrote to Bob - Made out my test. - Washed my hair in hard water... it will probably look like a fugitive from a mattress factory tomorrow... Think I will go to Little Foxes. Here it is 12 already - If only there were just 2 more hrs in a day!

1941 Thurs HELLO, DOPE... TANGO MUSIC... SMELL PLEASANTLY "PINK CLOVER"... M. DONAHUES WANTS CARICATURES ON REC ROOM WALLS... BILL + I TALKED TEACHING AT LUNCH... HE'S A SWEET KID.

1942 FRI Stayed up washing + blocking my sweaters - Strangled myself trying to inhale cigarette smoke, too.

1943

NOVEMBER 19

1939 11:30 - I struggled thru one question of the bogus P. quiz. It is due tomorrow - It always seems I hate to do a thing when I know I must - And I always wait till its so very late! - Sari + I went to "Drums Along the Mohawk" - Nessa stopped for a moment. She didn't remember my birthday. 

1940 12:45 Well, imagine that! I actually enjoyed myself at the wrestling matches. (Throwback to my primeval nature) - WHY didn't I come right in as I promised myself I would instead of taking a half hour to do it! - I definitely don't want Frederick to think I'm on the cosy side - even if I am!

1941 Wed WILBUR GAVE ME A BIG VENISON STEAK... HIS MOTHER SENT HIM A 3 PT BUCK. STRUGGLED OUT TO CREATIVE WRITING- CHILS + I SUFFERED THRU IT TO GET THERE. I'LL HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING GOOD, AFTER ALL THE CRITICIZING I DO! Chils isn't HAPPY

LUNCH W/ GREGORY, PAYNE, ETC.

1942 1:15 MAYBE WE'RE MAKING TOO MUCH OF A "GOOD THING" - golly, I HOPE NOT... WE WENT TO A MOVIE, CAME HOME + DRANK tea... THE TIME AFTER THAT WENT very QUICKLY... I SUPPOSE THE REST OF THE FAMILY HAS CONDEMNED ME FOR IT! ...WAS OVER TO ALL SAINTS - I GUESS I'LL DO IT - FOR $40

1943

NOVEMBER 18

1939 12:55 It was no sudden flash of insight, but I realized rather suddenly just as I went to bed tonight that if I am going to "conquer worlds," I must first conquer myself: -- Although I didn't do so much, - I relapsed a little as the evening wore on, I believe I got started to some extent. 

1940 1:05 Well, I guess the trouble with me today (Honest, it was just like I'd been DOPED!) was that I was disappointed Frederick didn't call - At least I feel oke NOW... Gee, he isn't bad to take at all. We went over to REMSEN, danced 1 dance. He talked about Shaddock... He said he missed me last weekend. Hope he means it

1941 Tues DJ TOOK ME TO DINNER - CHOC. SHOP. WE WENT TO WKEND IN HAVANA - WOW - C. MIR. SAW BOB TONIGHT FOR A MOMENT - GEE THOSE KIDS REALLY WORKED.

1942 11:45 I THINK MY excuse to STAY UNTIL Christmas HAS MATERIALIZED... MISS LEWIS WANTS ME TO TAKE THE ART CLASSES OVER AT All Saints UNTIL RHODA COMES OR UNTIL SHE CAN GET SOMEONE ELSE... I'LL DO IT, IF IT'S WORTH IT... I GOT A PAIR OF white MOCCASINS TODAY... FINISHED DRESSING TABLE... LOOKS TRES BOOFANT... GEORGE ASKED LEONARD IF HE HAD A PIECE OF MY B. cake! DAMN! AFTER all my trouble!

1943

NOVEMBER 17

1939 I am really tired - but I feel swell! - Bob asked me to go to the Policeman's Ball - I learned how to Schottiche, 2-step, etc. Leonard + Bill came over later, - Nessa is home for the wk-end. - How will I ever get anything done? Marg + I went to Brookings

1940 HELL. I can't get any ambition - I don't want to get to work - I might as well go to bed and try + buck it... Guess I'll listen to Helen Hayes + Then - phooey. God, I haven't any guts... I'm glad I took the folks to dinner anyhow... I want to draw stuff. Am I wrong? - Gee, I wish I knew! -

1941 Mon GEE, I'M TIRED. - SLEPT 2 HRS WHEN I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL. GOT THROUGH TODAY, ANYHOW - DON GREGORY IS SWELL - SURE WE'D GET ALONG

1942 11:05 TUES (I STILL THINK WE COULD - IF HE WEREN'T IN New Guinea - WHERE HE'S UNDOUBTEDLY SEEING action) I SUPPOSE EVERY NIGHT CAN'T BE AS ECSTATIC AS LAST - AND IT'S JUST AS well... I DIDN'T EVEN SEE LEONARD today, IN FACT - BUT golly, I THOUGHT ABOUT him... MADE DRESSING TABLE SKIRTS, WENT TO THE PRINTERS... LETTER from BOB... Roses, YESTERDAY

1943

NOVEMBER 16

1939 11:30 Well I don't feel so decrepit - I've had such a swell birthday - It was as mild + warm as spring - people sat around on campus w/o their coats - I helped Howard take pictures all day - I hope some of them turn out. Took shots of B. Johnson tonight. She is gorgeous. - E sent me a lipstick!

1940 12:00 Well, "Marion is Twenty-Two" ...Never had a birthday affect me less... I was a little bit taut about the time Eleanor called though... Marguerite, Nessa + Sari took me to lunch at the Java Rm... Saw Spitznagel + Henrich. Marguerite has a Fraternity Pin + Sari is going "steady" - Jean M. is going to married Christmas - Jean V. Br. also... Didn't get to see G

1941 2:45 Worked constantly today, some birthday. - Finished posters, went down + helped Bob + Leonard until 2:00

1942 LEONARD DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY (THANK GOODNESS!) BUT golly, HE CERTAINLY MADE IT A happy ONE FOR ME! HE CAME DOWN AND WALKED ME HOME (AFTER WE'D ALL BEEN TRYING TO WRITE T. Club INVITATIONS) - HE SAYS - NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, HE'LL KNOW HOW LUCKY HE IS... HE'S GOING TO BE "GOOD" NEXT 2 WKS! I MADE MORE LAMPSHADES TODAY. BROUGHT cake TO DON + HAROLD

I FEEL COMPLETELY A woman - 

1943

NOVEMBER 15

1939 12:30 Well, Happy Birthday! - I didn't think I'd be up so late that I'd see it before I went to bed, but here it is! - I'm free, blonde and 21 - I feel swell most of the time -

1940 12:05 Happy Birthday, Marion... Gee, didn't think I'd be up this year either... Thank Heaven I'm home in my own sweet bed - I'm glad I came home, Dance or no Dance (It would have been fun though)... I hardly knew if I wanted to leave, this aft... It would have been lonesome tomorrow... I must start facing things. In fact, I'm determined to.

1941 Sat God, what a day - I'm a nervous wreck. - Classes - making leetle sandwiche! Painted lettering - DJ, Phil, Beth + I ate hamburgers

1942 12:30 HELL - HERE I AM 24, I GUESS... AND STILL GRIPING INWARDLY about LAST NIGHT... SPENT MOST OF THE DAY MAKING LAMPSHADES, BOB + I WENT TO THE Orpheum AND THEN LISTENED TO Schubert AT STARKS... SAMPLED WINE WITH Leonard THIS MORN

1943

NOVEMBER 14

1939 Well chum here we've wasted another day... Or have we? - Even if I didn't talk about truth + beauty and what's really a foundation of Art. - We had a good time heckling the Artist Series Lecturer + I got to look at Leonard all I wanted too.

1940 11:00 A HELLAVA DAY, IF I DO SAY SO... THE KIDS WERE A BUNCH OF COMANCHES... THE AWFUL PART OF IT IS - I THINK IT WAS MY FAULT... NO GUTS... TERRIBLY SWEET LETTER FROM ELEANOR... HOPE I CAN GET INTO CHICAGO AT CHRISTMAS... CALLED HOME TONIGHT... BE OUT OF THIS TOMORROW... JOY. WOULD LIKE TO STAY HERE FOR THE DANCE; BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING - I GUESS...

1941 Fri Got the boards sized, look okay - Alec Templeton + Clara saw Maragher - mighty sharp. Java Room - Alec sat for us

1942 1:00 DAMN! FRUSTRATION again... FIRST JOHN K. HAD TO COME ALONG - WHICH I DIDN'T MIND REALLY, HE JUST ENTERTAINED US INSTEAD of OUR HAVING TO GO TO A movie - BUT WE NO SOONER LEAVE, than BOB WALKS ALL THE WAY HOME WITH US! Migosh, I'D THINK HE'D HAVE MORE SENSE... I FELT awful THIS AFT BECAUSE I WORKED HARD THIS MORNING - I DO NOW - FOO -

1943

NOVEMBER 13

1939 Another lousy Monday - I wore my dirty old saddle shoes which made me feel young, but slightly depressed - We had a pot-luck over to Marg's - (Philos) - And then voted on new members until 10:30

1940 11:55 Freddie called tonight... I was all ready to get to work, of course I went out with him. Ben Hecht movie... It was worth the effort of getting ready... Saw Frank Brady's picture in a  sewing mag today. I think I'll write him again. - at least, a Christmas Card! - What'll I do tomorrow (Hysterical laughter)

1941 Well dope, you gotta produce some posters - you'd better make good! - Got one good lay-out after sweating all day. -

1942 11:30 ABOUT MADE A LAMPSHADE THIS evening - LOOKED QUITE ELEGANT - WHILE LEONARD + GEORGE PAINTED THE BASEMENT FLOOR turquoise (THAT I MIXED) MADE THE INKED DRAWING FOR MEMBERSHIP cards THIS MORNING - SHOPPED with DON FOR TABLECLOTHS THIS AFT... WE HEARD FROM R. H'WD. # -

1943

NOVEMBER 12

1939 This is the last Sunday I'll ever be just "20" - It seems odd - Well, part of the book is pretty well planned - the way I ate to-day it's a wonder I could fasten the band on my pajamas. 

1940 11:45 Feel lousy - Maybe it was exercised (I'm certainly not used to them) - Sleepy all day - Gee, if I could just feel energetic and ambitious... Few kids in school today on accounta weather, made teaching easy - 

1941 Wed Bill + I went down after creative writing to see how Leonard was coming. Hope he gets done! Bill + I talked afterwards - He is a terribly sweet fella -

1942 11:30 THURS BOUGHT DON GREGORY A ST. CHRISTOPHER MEDAL-BRACELET... I HOPE HE GETS IT BY Christmas. I GOT A PAIR OF NYLONS!!! (HOPE THEY'RE WORTH THE 2.15 I PAID for EM) ... MR. (+MRS.!) EIDE HIGHLY APPROVE THE TOWN CLUB JOB... SHE of COURSE, PREFERRED THE UPSTAIRS... LARRY + DONNA SAW THE PLACE TONIGHT... THEN WE BEERED at LOOKS!

1943

NOVEMBER 11

1939 It's always tomorrow when I'm going to really get to work. - I can't keep kidding any longer - the book will be laid out tomorrow. Today was odd. I worked out at school. Leonard did more in 2 hrs, than I did all day - Howard took some pictures of me - 

1940 11:00 Today was odd too... Armistice, and U.S. the only (one of the few) nations at Peace... I get intensely depressed if I start thinking about the possibility of facing a War- existence in the future.. Terrible blizzard... NO school... checked papers... thought about Freddie... and Bill... and Leonard.

1941 12:00 We are still not - literally - in the war. But that's all. It's a mess. We jazzed up the float barely in time. Emil + Bob + I chased down to see it. Dropped in on Muralists Payne + Berg. Hope they get on okay. Wasted afternoon with RH. Wrote DJ

1942 11:30 I HAD A BEAUTIFUL DAY - MOST of the TIME. FINISHED THE TROIKA, ELEANOR bought MY LUNCH, AND I WENT TO THE GAME with LEONARD... WE WENT DOWN TO THE bar, AND THEN LISTENED TO RECORDS. (I CAN STILL risotsky!) HE CALLED TONIGHT, too. I PUT ON MY RED DRESS, WE MAILED Emil's letter

1943

NOVEMBER 10

1939 My last home game - The last time I'll see Tommy + Hunk + Stan + the rest play such a swell rough game - And the last time I'll sing the "Fight Song" I'll never forget all those swell boys who really play the game.

1940 11:45 Where did the week-end go? Bang! And it's Sunday night again - Freddie promises to be very good interesting. I hope he sticks around... rather think he will. Sat through a rather dull movie just to see what would happen afterward. It did. I was mistaken about his eyes - brown.

1941 1:00 Monday - A heller - fixed up drawings, approved, but job didn't pan out - damn! - Hope Cale's does arranged "float." Class- Critic for 3 act plays - Helled around, painted art room came home Bawth

1942 TUES 12:30 WELL, WE'RE STRAIGHTENED OUT again, AFTER A SLIGHT "ESTRANGEMENT" - AS Leonard PUTS IT... WE WENT TO THE DANCE FOR A WHILE, THEN HE CAME INTO "GET Emil's ADDRESS" ... I WAS REASSURED WITHOUT ASKING TO BE reassured... I THINK HE IS WORRIED ABOUT OUR GETTING TOO SERIOUS...

1943

NOVEMBER 9

1939 11:45 Well even if I haven't accomplished so much today - at least I'm clean - Today Leonard brought in a layout for the whole book. 

1940 2:00 Life is exciting again... Bill called - wanted me to meet him in S. City tomorrow night... My God, he never gives up... I think he really believed I might be desperate enough to do it. Funny, I didn't even feel insulted... Dated Freddie tonight "Mark of Zorro" - fun. fun. quite. He is really a very smooth Joe --

1941 12- No reactions - as yet. Hope he won't take too long. Innocuous day - knitted did a few lousy sketches - Anticipated tomorrow. Went to a movie w/ Eastson.

1942 1:25 Well, Foo... Be glad to finish up the grill - Put on my horse today... He looks fine... Mother + Eleanor + Philip + I played bridge tonight. Earlier, I heard Orson Welles reading "Ballad of Battan." Made me feel unnecessary.

1943

NOVEMBER 8

1939 11:30 I'm alright except for a sore throat- Got a letter fr. E. - everything seems so exciting there - I hope she really likes it.

1940 12:30 I wish I hadn't gone with Harold tonight. Gee, I was so tired. We went up to Sioux City to a show... He was even more bushed than I - Had been to Pensen night before up + 6, broke concrete slabs all day... He talked a lot, but no action. I am afraid I was in no mood to "resist."

1941 I did ask Leonard if he thought we weren't wasting an awful lot of time! He wants to talk about it. Hope he doesn't wait too long. Spitz was out heckling. Met Earl for lunch - Margaret this aft. DJ was over tonight - 

1942 1:30 Virginia had me fixed up with the army - wasn't bad attal... I don't believe I impressed him particularly, however. I worked this afternoon... Put on 2 fencers... American forces are moving in via Mediterranean to Africa

1943

NOVEMBER 7

1939 Spent most of my day in the Edda office correcting tests - no fun. People kept rushing in and out - I'm lying here surrounded by blankets, hot w bottle, aspirin, Spence's ointment hoping to heat the flu. Georgia told me an unbelievable rumor about Wilma - I don't believe it + I wish G would keep quiet. 

1940 3:15 Well, I'm a much worse teacher than I was last year at this time. I may be wiser, but you'd never know it. Went to Don Cossack's. -- Disillusioned at dinner - Why did those damn women have to spoil things? - I guess Bob is really rotten -- Damn. 

1941 11:30 Egg Tempera -- Lunch w/ Wilbur + Emil. Music class -- painted a little - Got Chilson made up for a costume party. Knitted - All the time Leonard, Leonard, Leonard.

1942 12:30 (about) (Yeah, nuts to you) - Allies moved in on French possessions in Africa...the 2nd front... I didn't do so well today... too much Rawshia...inked a deal for Don put on 2 figgurs. OH FOO... I HATE ME.

1943

NOVEMBER 6

1939 Back to college! - I gave a test in Gen. Eng. at H.S. + then went to Auggie - accomplished nothing - except flutter around about Philo. Tonight carmeled apples, sweater -- open meeting. 

1940 Well, Marion this looks to me like a characteristically sloppy job of teaching to me... We are now so far behind the 8 ball, we'll never get on top... I should get very worried about it. But I don't. tsk. Bridge Club. Bore. Pineapple meringue... cold tonight. 

1941 Thurs Damn Leonard - can't get him off my mind! Spoils everything... Even Siberian singers - the Rawshin moosic just hurt because I knew he was near -

1942 Fri Damn him again - even if he was good enough to take me to the Siberian Singers... had another picnic after the program in the Club... And Bob (I don't know why he should irritate me so!) ... Gee, I wish I could have another date w/ Harley! 

1943

NOVEMBER 5

1939 Sunday - I was conscious only a small portion of the day - just long enough to eat + wash my face + fix my nails!

1940 Depressed, lonely, cold - all day today... Grey November... kicked out M. for the rest of the week. Felt good... Nat'l election... looks like Roosevelt's in again. Personally, it's okay with me.

1941 Wed Leonard went out with Marion -- the hag. Thought he had better taste -- Hope I have guts enough to take advantage of the next opportunity I have to talk w/ him. - DJ. + I went to Range in Heaven. 

1942 Thurs (Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't!) ... I was irritated for no good reason all day... But Leonard called, so I felt better. We went downtown - instead of going to the dance, we called on Don and had a picnic... we like him lots....

1943

NOVEMBER 4

1939 3:30! S.F.C. game (we won!) - Bob + Leo. + Donna + I rang the victory bell in Old Main then struggled over here where I made hamburgers and we ate + talked till now! -- I think Leonard is really attractive!

1940 10:30 ha ha ha ha (hysterically!) here I am going to bed again - tomorrow is just a BIG question mark... BUT I had such fun tonight. Harold FINALLY caught up with me --- after literally trailing me around the town... HOMECOMING date - went to Remsen + had a nice place all to ourselves...coke...danced... heavenly!

1941 Tues. Gr- o - a- n. Greek Architecture.  --- finished sleeve of my sweater. Eleanor's vacation is next week -- so no Chicago. 

1942 Wed 11:00 Hell! Even Basin Street was disgustin tonight [but not half as disgustin as you, babe!] Even by getting up at 10:00, I managed to get 3 Roosians on... Leonard made a pass at me when I was showing him the grill. I resisted!

1943

NOVEMBER 3

1939 Except for the test, I'm all through with my actual teaching- I really liked the kids... Last period Bob + Leonard traipsed in -- put an apple on my desk + stayed for class! -- They are such nuts -- took me down to the Palace afterwards - Bob took me to the lecture at school

1940 11:00 I seem to have absolutely no capacity for work! -- No ambition... No interest... Hope I get over this phase pretty soon... 4 weeks till Thanksgiving... Then three weeks until Christmas vacation... This is awful.. I shouldn't live for tomorrow; but for today... you're always disillusioned with that mechanism... rather nice day... slept till ten...church...dinner...picnic.. date with Freddie.. him I like... hope it is mootual.

1941 10:22 Thank goodness I don't have to count the days until vacation this yr.... Don't know if I'll be doing the job at Brookings or go to Chicago... Saw Sari tonight. Marj has a baby girl -- named it after Virginia -- I'm doing my damndest. 

1942 2:00 Whaddya know, I went to Jan Savitt with David's 'little" brother. He is very beautiful and has a lovely disposition* -- Unlike David. Mister Payne called this aft; I wonder if he thought about going -- nuts to him.)... *A little too affectionate, tho...

1943 10:30 Golly, where do the evenings go? I just wrote Jarv. + Leonard on my new blue "Love Letters" (only one of them was!) - Donna + I are certainly compatible... I'm trying to keep a jump + a half of Dorothy + it is a strain! Mother wrote - so sweet.

NOVEMBER 2

1939 And so to bed! - It still seems rather odd to be sleeping alone. - Eleanor has been gone 3 weeks now - She has a job she likes in a Real Estate office -- I'll die if she doesn't get home for Thurs. - Christmas. 

1940 3:00 Gee, really swell. Freddie is very attractive tall nice-looking - very sweet -- ! and asked me for a date tomorrow ! ! ! We went to a coupla nightclubs in Sioux City with Blanche + Allan. Fred knows his way around... Accomplished little today - Called Mother... Wish the pixies would correct those themes. 

1941 12:00 Well, in the next 10 days I'll see if I have any guts at all. - I'm determined (here we go again) to lose 10 pounds. Wrote letters, went to Honky Tonk (Wow) w/ DJ- Met Bob + Emil

1942 1:00 almost... And I've been up waiting for Wilbur (about time). Had a MARVELOUS letter from Don --- in NEW GUINEA. (Leonard didn't call!) started in the GRILL.

1943 11:30 Oh gosh, here's another night and I haven't written in here and caught up. Will I ever? - Wrote to my true love. I made market calls. Ate more than I intended to... Oh hell... Heard from Bill at Princeton. Oh Foo. 

NOVEMBER 1

1939 Wed. Everything was innocuous enough to-day. - I imagine teaching can become a bore. - Marg + her mother were over for dinner - Mother is always doing something unpremeditated like that --- that's what I admire in her so much -- 

     you said it!

1940 12:00 Most uneventful... wish I could have gone to game at Vermillion... or had a date to-night. (Eilers is supposed to take me to H.C. Dance tomorrow - finally - a date - hope its good)

1941 2:30 Went to Citizen Kane @ w/ Emil - Both puzzle me slightly. But I don't seem to care. - Wore myself out down town. Dad had to go to the hospital last night.

1942 12:30 Wilber phoned me today from Arkansas. (Gee, I'm a heel for not writing) he's in O.C's... Went out with Mr. Ira -- was singularly unimpressed but evidently it wasn't mootual...saw Lober + Lauderstien in the Java Room... They + Leonard + John had a Halloween Party - ha - too late to call. 

1943

OCTOBER 31

1939 I gave it to my 1st period class- they were quite floored. - it was so effective I was just looking for the opportunity to use it on my aft. classes. - But they must have had a hunch they were so quiet. 

3 days + I'm through.

1940 SHUCKS, honey, we might just as well go to bed... (I'll never get those damn papers corrected anyhow.) ----- A very uneventful day - very ordinary - Gee, only 4 weeks until Thanksgiving. Then only 3 wks until Christmas + oh joy 2 weeks of vacation ! ! ! ! !

1941 Gee, you're a dope -- Hell, I don't ever have adult control over my own mind -- Is the whole year going to be an epoch of frustration?

1942 Saturday Night 12:00 -- And me withoutta date - hell. Wonder if Bob's stopping in this morning irritated Leonard. I hope so, now! Blegen cracked my back -- my! --- Designed menus, did little fella in the lobby.- 

1943

OCTOBER 30

1939 (I smell nauseatingly of "Candy Soap") - My classes got a little rugged to-day. - If they show any more of the same stuff tomorrow... I don't believe H.S. seniors should have to be nagged at. I refuse to do it. (We gave Columbus to-night)

1940 Utterly nauseated with myself.

1941 I succeeded in not only up-setting myself, but Leonard, too. I'm certainly sick of platonics---

Damn Damn Damn

1942 Fri Another of the same...mild frustration. Disgusted w/ myself. Weak character no decision, no spunk...Saw " in the movies...not too bad...tried to get the menus designed...Mother + Dad + I went to The Glass Key...Augie beat N.O.--19-0.

1943 Sat. Most of the day in bed for me...nghaa.

OCTOBER 29

1939 All day, we expected a "special" from E. telling us what her job was- but no letter --- (we got a telegram yesterday) - Sary + I saw Bette Davis in "The Old Maid"- (God, I hope I'm not going to be one!) 

Is it possible-another Sunday gone?

1940 11:00 At least ---a start. If only I'd do this every night I wouldn't be in such a mess! --- I think I am a lousy teacher --- I cannot develope the kind of a class attitude I want --- I hope I do not get so bad that I let them walk all over me - Fraid I've got a good start ---Wish some of those men would materialize

1941 Wed We all went to Male Animal - very mediocre -- I'd like to play in Ladies In Retirement. 

I think I'm the psychopathic type ! ! ! ! !

1942 (yeah, I still think so) ... Gee, I shoulda stayed home tonight! -- but I didn't- Thur. I shouldn't have gone down to Lok's with John + Leonard!- But I did... It was misty. I was un conscious. 

1943

OCTOBER 28

1939 Sat.- The wasted luxury of holidays! I could have accomplished so much I did so little---just got myself clean--- I feel too warm, too bloated, 

too "soapy"---and faintly utterly nauseated with myself!

1940 11:00 Geez---It looks like that that papers is not going to get my attention---When am I going to start pouring it on?---struggled through Monday--- 4 to go, now...Letter fr. Jo--- she has written to Leonard--- Just as I though...migosh, what did she say? Afraid I don't care---Harley took me for a ride---   tsk, tsk

1941 Tues Mother + I went to the movies--(I can look at Robt. Montgomery + not be reminded of Frederic) Saw John at C. Theater this aft. ----he still disturbs me.

1942 Wed  Leonard and I went over to Cliff + Maureen's tonight --- and 50 other people, too... They are spunky little kids! Have 1 more panel... Maybe I'll do the waitresses uniforms! 

I love Leonard more deeply and more quietly...

1943

OCTOBER 27

1939 11:35 I really can say now I like Pr. Teaching- I'm crazy about the youngsters...Secretly, I was quite flattered when one of the boys- Jim- asked me for a date- 

1 of them wrote a theme 1 on why I dislike Pr. teachers! Saw Civic Theater play "The Tavern"- a little on the corny side, I thought.

1940 10:30 Inevitably, here I am back again. I sure hope eventually I can get so I look forward to coming back to my job. But not right now, I'm afraid! - Pried my eyes open this a.m. to have breakfast with family and Wilma- I almost went back to bed when they insisted on talking politics!- Slept intermittently all day...ate...so to bed.

1941 Mon God, faculty dinner. Lillian + I rustled around in the country after prairie grass + pumpkins + corn. -- - tables looked okay                    Emil came home with me                 hung pitchers

1942 Tues One and a half on today... My back gets tired, painting...Leonard started on the lettering...I love working with him. Washed my hair and wrote to R. H'wd #. 

Wilmer and Eleanor irritate me-----

1943

OCTOBER 26

1939 Day of teaching went quite smoothly, for a change. I am crazy about the kids. One night I am home for a ch.

1940 1:30 Well, went to Brookings...Wilmer took me down...Ray's ride didn't materialize...poor Hunk was nearly crushed when State lost their game to the "U"... I must break off with him. He likes me too well; and I don't like that. If he could just keep being "friends"...Ditched dance, came back with Kenny + Marg---gee, good to see...Wilma is here.

1941 Sun gee, I wish I had another one to spend. Dark + Gloomy. Mixed paint & worked on "Male Animal" set this aft...DJ + I + Clara went to a lect.--I heard all about Sid's "past"

1942 Mon Painted this morning---are in this afternoon. 4 Mister Williams wants me to "plagiarize" some letter-heads for him...Enlarged sketches...D.J. came by for a coke. She has a ring from Larry!

1943