FEBRUARY 21

1939 11:15 I'm just beginning to feel normal again tired + woozy all day... fell down after chapel + feel pretty stiff + bruised... It is icy as glass + cold as heck. I didn't accomplish a thing all day... Kept thinking about Tommy + last night I certainly was a dead beat... Maybe it was all that high powered competition that scared me out.

1940 1:30 - Ugh - I'm booshed - Helped Howard run stuff today - Marvelous Game I didn't even go home for dinner... Bob + I went to the Dance. Bill + L brought me home

1941 According to my horoscope beginning tomorrow new romance comes into my life! - I hope so. This celibacy is getting boring. Not that I haven't enough to do... but the urge to "get away from it all" is strong... Letter from Jo.

1942 Sat 2:45 I can hardly write about this... Seeing + talking with Leonard last week was a satisfaction. But tonight - although we didn't talk at all was certainly more satisfactory. But it makes it even harder now. I can hardly bear being away from him at all. 

(Cleaned up room, etc.)

1943 SUN I FELT unhappy THIS MORNING, STILL... BETTER, AFTER A SHOWER AND SCRAMBLED eggs AT THE DRUGSTORE. JARV and I TOOK A WALK UP RIVERSIDE AND LOOKED AT THE "PRAIRIE STATE" ... IT WAS A GORGEOUS SPRING DAY! THEN WE WALKED DOWN BROADWAY, EATING APPLES; I THINK IT WAS ABOUT THE BEST TIME I'VE HAD WITH HIM - WHICH HE cannot UNDERSTAND (...BOB + PEGGY + I HAD DINNER AT A FUNNY LITTLE PLACE NOT FAR FROM Columbia - THEN TOOK R. HOW'D TO THE TRAIN; PEGGY WAS STURDY.

FEBRUARY 20

1939 Monday 12:15 How many times I've wished for the opportunity I had tonight - a date with Tommy. I don't know what the score is. I wish I had a date alone with him. Then maybe I could figure it out. I don't think I'd be afraid of him anymore! Tonight was a little disappointing. I've had my chance; so what?

1940 11:00 Is this really me? - I'm in bed at this hour. I deliberately stayed home - in spite of cr. wr. class + in spite of the work I had to do! - I hope I'm dev. the transcendental viewpoint.

1941 Thurs. Thank God tomorrow's Friday. Like to be going home, in a way, but plan (at least) on getting more done by staying here... Did not get to go to Elk's dance (Damn Freddie) But enjoyed myself in spite of it over at Marg's + Dorothy's... Popcorn, Fudge, knitting -

1942 Saw Donna Jean... We went for a ride - Ate popcorn - Picked up Bill at Morrell's - Had a coke -

1943 SAT Oh GOD... I THINK I'LL JOIN A NUNNERY... WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN casual? ...AND WHY MUST Jarv ALWAYS DWELL ON CERTAIN SUBJECTS? WE MET BOB + PEG DOWNTOWN, THEN WANDERED AROUND AIMLESSLY, HAD A BEER, WENT DOWN BY THE RIVER... THE REASON FELT SO SAD WAS BECAUSE I ACHED FOR Leonard. BOB + I MET PEG FOR LUNCH AT THE HEARTHSTONE - HAD FRIED CHICKEN (SCRUMPTIOUS) ...TOOK THE FERRY OUT TO STATEN ISLAND AND SAW THE STATUE of Liberty - THRILL

FEBRUARY 19

1939 Sunday 10:35 Outside, the wind is yelling bloody murder... And I'm still hoping for Spring... Peggy had us over for tea this aft. It was lovely. She + Ginger went back tonight. 

1940 Mon 12:30 - I'm "developing" into a photographer. Ran stuff with Mick today on portraits. To be done over. Saw Peggy for a few minutes. Worked tonight. 

1941 Wed 8:45 Maybe I need a shot in the arm... seems so hard to get anything accomplished. Corrected papers downstairs... talked w/ Mrs R. Doctor ordered our usual nightcap. 

1942 12:00 All Saints for dinner. Roda Meyer is a nice Dutch gal. Very ambitious, and Quaker, too. Like Mike in some respects. Coffee in the drawing Room.

1943 FRI 4:00 A VERY LARGE EVENING indeed... INCLUDED THE RAUCOUS Rockefeller WHERE WE SANG LOUDLY AND LONG... THEN TO THE BARN DOWN IN GREENWICH VILLAGE... WHICH IS A MARVELOUS PLACE... I ONLY GOT TO DANCE ONCE, THOUGH... THEN WITH BOB (THEY PLAYED M SWEET EMB. YOU I PRETENDED I WAS DANCING W. Leonard) THEN, AS WE WERE LEAVING MY DATE HAD A RUN-IN WITH A COAST GUARD Sailor... QUITE EXCITING. WE WENT WITH PEG FOR HER LESSON THIS AFT. I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING CONVOYED W/ 3 ENSIGNS TOWING ME AROUND.

FEBRUARY 18

1939 2:20 - Peggy brought her room mate home with her this week-end. Marguerite had a luncheon for her. Nessa took us to dinner. Afterwards, we went to the show + then to Nessa's On a whole, rather dull, I guess. I've been feeling half wild  - Maybe I'm in love a little + not w/ Gary Cooper, either

1940 Sunday - 3:30 - Egad what a mess - If people weren't swell, I'd certainly be lost! - Leonard + Spence worked on Freshman panels...

1941 Tues Well, I guess the plays are going on the week before Easter... I hope they turn out okay... Hell, don't know when I'll have time to wok. Anymore (oh shut up, you're just lazy-) - Test papers - Short-stories - 

1942 Wednesday - 11:15 It's monotonous, I know. But Leonard seems to be more + more important. Creative writing was fun. Because we sat together + read our dialogue. It's damn cold -

1943 THURS BOB + I WENT TO Carnegie HALL. WE ALL ATE DINNER AT THE AUTOMAT FIRST... THIS MORNING BOB WAS LATE CALLING ME FOR BREAKFAST AND I WAS CONSEQUENTLY LATE ALL DAY... BOTH THE Eastman JOB + THE J. WALTER THOMPSON JOB ARE DEFINITE POSSIBILITIES. (HAVE FURTHER APTS. ) MET LOIS COWAN FOR LUNCH. WE WENT TO Chinatown. Gee - WHAT FOO-YUNG! ... (HAD TO TAKE A CAB!) SULLY GOT ME AN OPENING AT Loewy's!

FEBRUARY 17

1939 Friday 12:35 - and I'm in need of some sort of moral support - badly! - W. heckled me all day - I don't know if he deliberately tried to, but he certainly did a swell job. I think I'd rather go with him to the J.S. than w/ anyone! I sewed on my black dress.

1940 Saturday 11:45 Got about 5 panels pasted... I will have to do lots tomorrow. Howard is perfectly swell about stuff. I can't blame him... I don't give a hoot for the other guys, though...

1941 Mon. Still haven't actually any plays picked... All the good ones are "Royalty" - Sat downstairs and read to Mrs. R. ...Dr. gave us our usual "nightcap"... They are so sweet to me. Didn't hear from Gramskon yet ? ? ? ?

1942 10:45 Eleanor had us over for dinner tonight. She is really ecstatic. I'm so darn glad. We had a lovely dinner. Washed dishes. Should write to Michael... It's cold... Guess I'll read Test. Depressing Faculty meeting. Odd how - quickly I can forgive Leonard for anything.

1943 WED I DIDN'T GO TO ROCKEFELLER Center WITH BOB + PEG ALTHOUGH THEY SEEMED SINCERE ABOUT WANTING ME..  Lois WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL, BUT DIDN'T... WE ATE UP AT THE SANDWICH SHOP... I INVESTIGATED AN AD (A POOP) AND TESTED AT THE AGENCY - WHICH LOOKS SWELL AND THEY WERE KEEN TO ME; SAID I COULD LAND A GOOD JOB (I HOPE SO) WE HAD A GOOD DINNER AT Toffeneti's. WHICH I ENJOYED - BOB IS WONDERFUL. PEG IS CRAZY ABOUT HIM + I DON'T BLAME HER.

FEBRUARY 16

1939 Thursday 12:30 And again we have lost a game to S.F.! I feel terrible because I know the fellas were badly hurt about it. Tommy injured his leg. How badly, I don't know. Someone else hopes W. is going to ask her to the J.S. And is doing plenty about it (He seems to know I'm sure, at any rate)

1940 Friday. Still nothing to paste. Engravers called for copy - Fellow hadn't seen anything... I was furious. Met Paul Engles today... He was marvelous tonight. I hope fellas get something done. 

1941 Sun 12- A dull day, darling... Reeves are certainly lovely to me... Wonderful dinner... Meat balls, macaroni, salad, fresh rolls, butterscotch pie... Wrote 6 letters today - Demoralizing

1942 10:30 Nice Monday (imagine!) Bob + Wilber + I ate at Huddle. We all went to a tea in the Eng. Dept. We'll have to have one too, now! - Talked at a society tonight. Hope I can give a decent lect. Tomorrow... I'm happy, I think.

1943 TUES. MIGOSH, Bob DID COME; AND WITH Peggy OUT! I WAS glad TO ENTERTAIN HIM, THOUGH; FOR A WHILE... HE SAID Leonard WANTED TO COME BADLY! I DIDN'T GO OUT TODAY EITHER. IT'S STILL COLD. PEG CAME IN, STARRY eyed...

FEBRUARY 15

1939 Wednesday I've almost finished the Book - It is bitter + hard. The day was quite awful... the good looking salesman I was in love with yesterday has an equally good looking wife! Such luck... (And he had the longest eyelashes!)

1940 Thursday 12:00 This morning doom cracked but it sealed up again - Ran around + helped Howard all day... Radio Skit with C.J... Ushered at C. Music Concert... D.J. + I ate pistachio nuts

1941 Sat. 12:45 - Hate to admit it but a dateless Sat. night is a little demoralizing... Or maybe it's just I'm used to the idea of having one... Spent energy + time cleaning up my class room

1942 ! Here we go again. We really talked. (Now, I don't know if hashing everything out is best or not!) Anyhow, I'm immensely reassured! - Gee, he actually intended to explain. Incidentally too bad I sopped it. we walked in the snow. He's talked as much as I think.

1943 MON (MIGOLLY I FORGOT TO RECALL THIS THE TOO LONG LETTER I JUST WROTE YOU, darn... ) TODAY WAS DEPRESSINGLY cold,  I JUST VENTURED OUT TO EAT and THAT'S ALL. I DID WRITE 3 FAT LETTERS OF APPLICATION, THOUGH... DONNA CAME OVER FOR A WHILE; PEGGY BROUGHT HOT CHOCOLATE HOME... WHICH WE JUST FINISHED with THE REST OF THE COOKIES Betty SENT HER.

FEBRUARY 14

1939 Tuesday: Stayed out at the dorm tonight. I baked the girls a cake instead of giving them valentine... We ate that + lots of other stuff. I had my fortune told - she did a good job there is a star on my fate line I feel full of candy + coke

1940 Wed 2:30 - Low Ebb - Will it ever be over? - Howard, Marg + scheduled pictures... I stayed w/ Marg... Had a run in w/ Hofsted over proposal for Edda amendment... I know its worth fighting for

1941 Friday! 10:15 Grim... Grade School operetta... Poor Mary, I'm glad I don't have to put on something like that... But Egad, when am I going to get those plays picked out? - 

1942 1:30 Leonard sent me a rose - Isn't that touching. Nuts. Wasted whole aft. w/ Wilber + Bob. Went to How Green Was my Valley with Lee tonight + the Lofthus. (L's date of Thurs broke up w/ her b.f. of 6 months.)

1943 SUN. 1:00 Wrote to Eleanor, did my layouts phoned Lois Carvan and went over to see her; she is wonderful + encouraging she kept my kodachromes to show someone. Of course I went to the wrong subway station. Its COLD! 

FEBRUARY 13

1939 Monday 10:00 I am alone in the house. Outside a cat is singing a wild duet, with the wind. I feel suddenly lonely and almost afraid. I wish I had more courage. Today Krause's book came out. It is here on the table beside me, waiting to be read...

1940 Tuesday 10:30 - Although I went to sleep for a while on the davenport, I am infinitely exhausted... In a way I feel much the same as this day last year; but lonely in a different sort of way + older.

We finally heard from E.

1941 Thurs. 12:00 - It was winter again today... Am rather happy... Chopin on radio... I just got a... out of my eye... had a date w/ Freddie... purely platonic... We have to have a few drinks to feel romantic, that's a cinch...

1942 Fri Leonard wasn't in class because he'd been to the Morrell party last night. Cliff fixed him up w/ some Babe! - Makes me feel wonderful - Went skating tonight had a really sooper time - Peggy's swell.

1943 SAT JARV TOOK ME DANCIN' tonight AT THE "RIALTO" - A LATIN BAND PLAYED - QUEL FUN TO DO A CONGA! - A RATHER wild PLACE, though... HE IS A LITTLE FAST FOR MY League... BRISK THOUGH! - TEASED ME ALL EVENING - HAS HAD A LOT OF experience... I GOT A reply from one of the letters... Scholastic Press... advertising l.o. Got lost in subway... Ended up in Harlem

FEBRUARY 12

1939 11:20 - Sunday, Nice Lazy day. Sewed a little ate Dinner went to a movie, over to Helen's (talked w/ Margeurite most of the time) study + now bed

1940 Mon. 1:30 - The suit came into Mary's to-day. - It is quite attractive... I stayed out to school to make a sketch for the window... Marg ate over here. 

1941 11:45 RAINY - RAINY - GRAY - NICE - SLOPPED DOWN TO PANTRY GOT MY HAIR + FEET THOROUGHLY SLUSHED... GOOD FOR THAT TUBERCULAR COUGH OF MINE... DON'T FEEL SLEEP... SAW HIENRICH -

1942 Civic Theater Play. Mr. + Mrs. North know damn well Leonard's out (who?) Poor D.J. - she sat right next to Sid + his date!

1943 1:15 WONDERFUL LETTER FROM Leonard... I'M MORE IN LOVE THAN EVER, I'M SURE... I CAME THAT CLOSE TO GETTING THAT MODELING JOB - SUCH A GORGEOUS PLACE! AN ENCOURAGING experience, HOWEVER... THEN UP TO SEE Mlle WHICH WAS EVEN MORE ENCOURAGING... MISS SAKS WAS WONDERFUL TO ME... TOLD ME WHAT PLACEMENT Bureau TO GO TO + EVERYTHING... HEARD PEGGY TODAY (TAKE HER LESSON) ... MAY SING AT Stage Door

FEBRUARY 11

1939 1:30 Didn't get around to sewing at all. - Virginia came over this afternoon. Tonight 6 of us went to the "Dawn Patrol"

1940 1:30 Sunday Ha! - finished the dummy - at long last... Drew from 11-4 - from 6-1 - At last I'm done...

1941 10:30 - Phooey, I'm going to bed... However, I still have good intentions... Have a little more than 3 months to accomplish things... (RADIO... HITLER, MUSSOLINI CONFERENCE...) Wish somebody'd snare them both at once. Party for Mildred at Franklin... B.B. Game (Freddie?)

1942 10:15 Was sick all night, practically -Felt better this afternoon... Designed the M. of Venice sets. Case drives me wild... Ruth Nelson coffee'd me over at the Huddle. She's swell. Kay J. has been complicating her life. Went over to the 

1943 1:15 WENT DOWN-TOWN, MET Peggy AT ALTMAN'S WHERE WE FOUND A SLICK red DRESS FOR HER; IT WAS RAINING, of course! - I BOUGHT A NEAT RED UMBRELLA... I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO APPLY FOR THE MODELING JOB... WE ATE SANDWICHES AT THE DRUG STORE (WHICH I'M GETTING SICK OF-) AND I WENT TO THE concert AT CARNEGIE HALL... DEEMS TAYLOR TOOK A BOW... LOTS of INTERESTING peepul. BEETHOVEN in A Major.

FEBRUARY 10

1939 12:10 Friday (Thank Heaven) I have another cold! Another 15 degree below day. - Had to use the tunnel once someone turned off the lights. It was awful - I cut out + basted up a dress tonight.

1940 Sat 2:45 And so I went... And even forgot to leer. Mailed P de P today. I am disappointed in myself I had really intended to do justice to those questions! I must watch myself w/ Spence

1941 Strangely enough, I did live! - Live to be disgusted with myself... Have doped it out that all I want is what I can't have... What I can have, I don't... That's all that's the matter with me... Have a lot to learn if I'm going to accomplish things. - Hell

1942 Just finished dialogue for Cr. Wr. - Hope I sleep - This new time is confusing. 

1943 11:05 WROTE 5 LETTERS OF APPLICATION; HOPE I HEAR FROM THEM... OVER AT Barnard IN DONNA'S ROOM.. GLADYS BORROWED A typewriter FOR ME... I ATE LUNCH WITH THEM... PEGGY DIDN'T HAVE TO USHER TONIGHT, SO WE HAD A WONDERFUL EVENING TOGETHER... I TOOK A BATH WHILE SHE WASHED HER HAIR. THEN I SCRUBBED HER BACK... JARV. CALLED TONIGHT... DATE SATURDAY. TREPIDATIONS.

FEBRUARY 9

1939 9:50 I lay in bed from 7 till 7:30 this morning deciding if I should go to my 8 o'clock class. I went. At 8:30 Hugo greeted me very pointedly. I ate lunch with Jean + Phil over at the Red Hen. (I seem to have an awful appetite these days. I'll never lose any weight at this rate) I think last night was good for Eleanor - She told me all about it while she took her bath. I guess she can take care of herself.

1940 1:30 ha! I'm going tomorrow night! I'm really glad  -I'll leer inwardly at M.E.! - Struggled with U. P de P - ugh - Spence, Carp + I worked till so late on the F. Ball programs for tomorrow - we walked home - fun. 

1941 3:45 Here we go again... But I think F. had the guts to break this off. His wish is honest, and I respect him in spite of everything which happened tonight... Can I live through tomorrow?

1942 11:30 The rest of the world went on Daylight Savings - but me. I overslept. And if I don't get to sleep I'll do the same tom. Wrote a long letter to Blanche - Eleanor + Philip were over  - Happy. I'm thinking about Leonard too often -

1943 10:00 PETE CAME IN TONIGHT, SO PEGGY'LL BE LATE. FOUND A LOT OF KEEN ADS IN Sunday TIMES - I SHALL ANSWER THEM! VENTURED DOWNTOWN BY MYSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY... GOT AROUND OKAY... WALKED UP 5TH AVE + DOWN PARK... STOPPED AT ST. PATRICKS - IT WAS WONDERFUL. 

SAW A FREE FRENCH OFFICER.

FEBRUARY 8

1939 Wed 11:15 The Day Hideous. Worked eons on a poster to have the screening come out fuzzy. I could have cried. Eleanor is out w/ a married man! Horrors what have we come to? 

1940 Spence said I would probably get an "invite", but none seems to be forthcoming! - Sara, Marg + I went to "Call it a Day" C.T. play. I'm dying to be in one.

1941 11:00 Dammit! Saturday's gone... I had 4 drinks 3 over my capacity... Done up remarkably well, though... Freddie + I had been talking "etc" - until pract. now. Gee, he's sweet. I've got to watch out I don't fall in love with him!

1941 Only it's her husband, this time! - Gee, everything went lovely... Eleanor is really his now. Which is as it should be. They went up to Sioux City. Margeurite + I saw "Johnny Eager" - And talked. I am garrulous

1943 MON 1:00 I CAN'T IMAGINE why I'M SO DIZZY - PROBABLY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN EATING right... L. SENT ME THE LAST 2 COMIC STRIPS FROM FLIDCORKIN - AND I HEARD FROM Mother... PEG + I ATE AT THE automat AND WENT TO Carnegie Hall...

FEBRUARY 7

1939 Tuesday 10:15 Horrible Day worked on Poster wrote a Fashion Column for Mirror Coughed all through Speech Class cold sores are depressing...

1940 Wed (2 fellas called + I wasn't home - ) ... And every bit as miserable this year only more "mentally" - I can't seem to work when I'm 'emotionally upset" (mad at somebody) Finally got  to work about dinner time - saw end of the game 

1941 12 And thank - God - it's Friday - Again! Helped Candy at B.B. Game. Day was vague and empty. Tried to get at Larry again. I wish I could help him, so to Jo -

1942 Sat. Eleanor's putting her hair up - Gee, makes me feel funny to know she's really going to start out a whole new existence, really. God, please let her be happy. She is one gal who deserves it.

1943 SUN 11:30 SLEPT LATE. READ THE FUNNIES JARV. BROUGHT FOR ME... HE CALLED JUST AS I WAS taking  A BATH, of course; WE WENT TO Arabian Nights IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD... HE CAME IN. Actually THOUGHT I WOULD LET HIM KISS ME IN THE PARLOR tsk tsk! I WROTE A 4 page LETTER TO MOTHER - ABOUT TIME. PEG + I WENT TO TEA - WHICH, with a NUT SANDWICH, about COMPRISED MY EATING FOR TODAY...

FEBRUARY 6

1939 10:55 Mon. Slicked up the Art Room this Morning for a meeting Planned Poster Lay Out for artist S. (-50 posters out tomorrow) Wyman got it for President (If he'd only take me to Fr.Sr.)

1940 Tues. 12:30 - Jam Session today and G.T. said he couldn't play jazz! - It doesn't look as though I were going to the f.l. banquet

1941 Thurs 10:15 - Groggy all day... Practically passed out for a couple of hrs after dinner - took a bath wrote to Mother. Now, I hope I can sleep

1942 Fri Barbara Davies read Claudia for us tonight * Gee, convincing! Leonard did his fresco * Had lunch w/ Davies at Choc. Shop. At the tea this afternoon - 

1943 SAT 3:00 MY FIRST DATE IN New York... WE SAW IN WHICH WE SERVE... JARV LOOKS SLIGHTLY lupine PROBABLY IS!... I SLEPT LATE; DONNA + I MET PEGGY IN FRONT of the ASTOR. I TOOK US TO LUNCH... PICKED UP MY bag AT Penn STA. WENT TO A TEA DANCE FOR Midshipmen. AND WAS GRATIFYINGLY POPULAR... IT WAS FUN... WE TRIED THE Astor BAR, AFTER THE SHOW, ENDED UP WITH BEER AND salami SANDWICHES, TALKING ABOUT everything

FEBRUARY 5

1939 Sun 10:45 - If I wake up with pneumonia tomorrow it's because I washed my hair today - cold + all. - It was worth it. All I did today was start my oration + knit - 

1940 Monday 11:30 - Designed 1 page at least - I think it is good - title page. I'd better speed up. Gregory Tucker is "on campus" Met him today. Okay Joe. He played tonight

1941 Wed THANK GOODNESS BRIDGE CLUB... I THINK IT IS ABOUT NICEST THAT'S "BEEN HAD" - (SUCH CONCEIT) ... VERY COY VALENTINE THEME, THE RASPBERRY SHERBET WAS SO HARD, WE HAD TO "CARVE" IT... HENRY CALLED. - FREDDIE CALLED.... UNHAPPY ABOUT SOMETHING - VERY TIRED... HOPE I CAN SLEEP -

1942 Thurs Sara hasn't called. I suppose she's left for Chicago, though - 2nd time I've stayed home this week! Tsk. Tsk. Got in on Sets + Costumes

1943 FRI LATE WE GOT IN ABOUT 11:20... DONNA ME ME ABOUT 12:30 SEEMED GLAD TO SEE ME; WE GOT ME ENSCONCED. I HAD LUNCH + DINNER WITH HER AT Barnard; WASHED MY HAIR AND HAD A beautiful BAWTH... RESTED A WHILE... SAW CAMPUS OF Columbia U... PEGGY IS 10 POUNDS HEAVIER, BUT RADIANT. I HAD A SPECIAL delivery WHEN I CAME - sweet. PEG HAD WORKED all DAY.

FEBRUARY 4

1939 12:00 Saturday. - Feel Rotten - Lousy. Should have stayed in bed - But when I should I don't want to. Went down town with E. + caught more cold...

1940 2:30 - Spent about 12 hrs. over a dr. board, and I still haven't really started that damn "dummy"! - There was a horrible 3 column cut in the Sun. Ed... Egad, you'd think I won the Prix de Paris! - (If I only could just place in that!)

1941 11- THOSE KIDS CAN CERTAINLY BE HELLISH. WISH I HAD BEEN RUGGEDER - HIENRICH CALLED - NOPE - I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO GO WITH HIM. ANYMORE - RATHER [HONEST] HE WERE "PLATONIC"... WENT TO BLANCHE'S PHIZZ-ED CLASS THIS EVENING - 

1942 12 Dammit 8:00 class tomorrow - (Next week'll be worse!) It was odd this morning I felt suddenly angry for really no reason at all + Both Wilber + Emil felt it right away. Though I'm sure I didn't show it! - Creative Wr. Took Mother + Eleanor to dinner - Wilber brought me a coke

1943 THURS 1:00 or so WENT DOWN with SARA THIS MORNING. KNOCKED MYSELF OUT LOOKING AROUND - AND FOR - Fields... MET SARA FOR LUNCH. WENT OVER TO THE Art Institute WAS GLAD. O'KEEFE SHOW + FRENCH SHOW - I COULD RECOGNIZE A GRATIFYING NO. OF THEM. GOT ON 3:31 TRAIN WITH NARROW MARGIN... ATE with Olaf GAL - SOMEONE BOUGHT US DRINKS. I TALKED ART WITH A LIEUTENANT intelligent.

FEBRUARY 3

1939 9:50 Right now my one aim in life seems to [be to] wear out this cold - (I thought I never had colds!) - This afternoon I revised + re-typed my story for Krause - (I don't think I'd be a successful writer of short stories) Heard Orson Welles in l'Anniversaire this morning! I really enjoy it... But I was so tired that about all I did this aft. was just barely get started on some posters for Eleanor - went to a game tonight. - Spence asked me to go to a C---

1941 2:30 WELL, MONDAY'S OVER... I WAS IN A STUPOR ALL DAY... GOING TO REFORM. STAY IN NIGHTS... SLEPT FOR ABOUT 2 HRS AFTER DINNER TONIGHT. GOING TO GO BACK TO BED + FINISH THE JOB NOW! 

1942 11:00 Gee that was an awful lecture in History this morning. Babe, we're going to have to do a lot better than that. (If Wilber's going to keep coming) Stayed home tonight! Eleanor + I bought her wedding dress this aft. ordered cake + stuff

1943 WED. I CAME OUT BETTER THAN I EXPECTED - HELD MY "FIRE" UNTIL AFTER TRAIN PULLED OUT Leonard WAS SO TERRIBLY sweet - BROUGHT ME YELLOW JONQUILS, EVERYONE WAS DOWN AT THE STATION... EIDES, ETTA, JOHN, BILL, BOB, SHIRLEY, CORRINE, JOHN, MOTHER and ELEANOR AND LEONARD - BOB. H. GOT THERE IN TIME TO KISS ME GOODBYE - BUT good. LEONARD GRABBED ME AGAIN... I WAS GLAD. AND DIDN'T CARE WHO SAW... MR. SPITZNAGEL GOT ON AT CANTON. I COULD HAVE CRIED ALL THE WAY INTO CHICAGO... IT WAS AN ACTUAL AMPUTATION...

FEBRUARY 2

1939 11:00 (I hope Collin comes to see E)

-Went out for an 8 o'clock that didn't meet this morning! - Rather rotten day. But I accomplished quite a few things. (Ski boots + m red flannel shirt always depress me)

1940 Friday - Some fun booing the billions applauding the hero + heroine! Real Drama... Even sold peanuts between scenes... Gee, I'd like to be in a play again... Bob walked home with me, I'm so glad... He is going to do a "job" at the Choc. Shop.

1941 SUN FIRST HIENRICH CLARIFIES THINGS FOR ME - THEN THIS... OH HELL... I'M PRACTICALLY UNCONSCIOUS FROM FATIGUE... MONDAY TOMORROW... OH GOD! ... WUMKES CAME BACK W/ ME... HE IS IRREPRESSIBLE!

1942 12:15 Hellish, mostly. Couldn't get up this morning - awful time getting ready for concert. D.J. + I saw Sid w/ another woman at the Palace

1943 TUES... IT WASN'T AS BAD TONIGHT AS I'D THOUGHT... BUT RAINED A LOT... I CRIED SOME, BUT I DIDN'T LET MYSELF GO... THERE'D BE NO STOPPING IF I HAD... I FEEL SURE AND WARM AND RIGHT IN OUR LOVE. SURELY THIS MUST WORK OUT, SOMEHOW - SOMETIME... WE HAVE TOO MUCH FOR IT NOT TO BE FULFILLED... WE WERE ALL AT Palace. WUMKES LOOKS WONDERFUL... IS WONDERFUL... I ORDERED MY PICTURES... I'M TERRIBLY WORRIED ABOUT Peggy's MOTHER... MY GOD, HOW CAN I LEAVE?

FEBRUARY 1

1939 11:55 First real blizzard we've had. We had an awful time getting out to class tonight - Ice + wind + snow - and I was already for Spring! Wyman has gone through a lot these days of election + campaigning. He's been hurt badly. I wish I had the nerve to tell him how I feel. I told Mr. Eide about my chance at Fantles - He has  a lot of faith in me. -

1940 Thurs Another S.F.C. victory... and my dollar (bet w/ Spitznagel) gone with the wind! - He bought me a piece of apple pie in the palace with S.F.C. written on it in whipped cream... W e all had dinner over at B. Edwards. This time Marie came!

1941 AND AGAIN HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF. WENT TO GAME WITH STAN... WE TALKED UNTIL NOW - HE IS SWELL.. G WAS PERFECT... SUGGESTED $100 ADJUSTMENT... SAW PEOPLE.... GOOD TO FEEL YOU ARE MISSED... SHOULD HAVE TALKED TO BOB MORE... 

1942 Sun Raw prunes - ngha - DJ + Billy + I went to Dive Bomber at the Orpheum - That damn remark Larsen made about Leonard's being a "heavy lover" stuck in my mind all day - Damn it.

1943 MON. A REITERATION OF AN EXPERIENCE WE HAVE SHARED BEFORE, AND WILL PROBABLY NOT FEEL AGAIN FOR SOMETIME.... I TOLD Leonard THAT IF HE EVER FELT HE NEEDED ME,  I WOULD COME TO HIM... AND I WOULD... I HAD DINNER AT THE JAVA ROOM with D.J. - LEONARD HAD DESSERT WITH US, AND THEN BOUGHT US SOME Port. WE WENT TO A DANCE, A FOR A WHILE; THEN CAME HOME - EVERY THING IS BEAUTIFUL and FINE... AND RIGHT...

JANUARY 31

1939 11:50 It always makes me rather unhappy to get something I've wanted - I know that the responsibility is then up to me. I can - if I work hard enough + sell enough hats - ultimately be a buyer for millinery departments. I start in Feb. sometime as a lowly clerk at Fantles. I want to make good! Virginia took me down this afternoon - "interviewed" for 1 hour + 1/2

Tonight I saw Sinclair Lewis. His Play was here. - Sara, E + I went + thoroughly enjoyed it. (The Stage?)

1940 Wed 11:30 More flutter-brain... I worked as hard as I could go from about... this morning until right now... Stickering re-prints for the engravers' - really dull

Spence helped me - yesterday...

1941 Friday 2 - OH JOY... HOME... BED - CLEAN... BOB AND LEONARD CAME OVER... TALKED NOT QUITE THE SELF CONSCIOUS IMBECILE USUALLY FEEL AROUND L. ... NOT QUITE. - SO GOOD TO BE HERE... MUST ACCOMPLISH TOMORROW

1942 Sat Lee + Emil just went home (2:30) God, what a situation for them if what Emil says is true - I want to have them over for dinner. We chaperoned an all school party.

1943 SUN DARLING, IT MEANT SO MUCH TO ME FOR US TO GO TO CHURCH TOGETHER! I'LL NEVER FORGET IT... WE HAD breakfast WITH BOB + JOHN AT THE Java ROOM... BOB WAS IN FINE FETTLE. WE LOVE HIM SO. HE + Leonard CERTAINLY COMPLEMENT ONE ANOTHER... I WENT OVER TO VIRGINIA'S TONIGHT... SHE + CHILS + I TALKED IN THE kitchen.

JANUARY 30

1939 10:20 - We're off again. In the groove with a muddle of plans for Blackfriars, a fashion show for A.G.A., a costume design class, posters to make, murals to design - Walked 6 miles today - feel swell. - Mother won a darling little white chair playing bingo tonight.

1940 Tuesday - Well I've been pretty disorganized all day! - All I've done was look at the special page in Mlle at intervals all day. I certainly hope people don't think I get conceited about it though! - More than that I hope I don't get conceited!

1941 Thursday 2:30 - Had a very satisfactory viewpoint from Henry tonight... He thinks so CLEARLY... helped me some, I'm sure... We saw Chad Hamsa (it was bank night) - went for a ride in the fog - had some coffee - talked + came home. He does not make me feel cheap, I don't think - Tomorrow's FRIDAY ! ! ! ! ! !

1942 Fri Gee, what a party. And I thought the Augustana faculty conservative. Dinner at Lofthus' for DeGray - then over to Blegans - Hope I don't have a hangover

1943 SAT AH FUN, WE ALL MET BOB TONIGHT - WHO IS FINE AND DANDY and INTEGRALLY THE SAME. JOHN K WAS HI and WE HAD A TIME WALTZING AT THE station TOGETHER. IT snowed. WE SURROUNDED HIM ALL THE WAY TO THE Town CLUB... WHERE WE DRANK and DANCED BUT NOT TO EXCESS. OF EITHER. WE FINISHED OFF THE ROLL OF COLORED FILMS TODAY... MR. EIDE WAS WONDERFUL ELEANOR + P + L + I HAD PANCAKES IN THE KITCHEN.

JANUARY 29

1939 11:45 Sunday Mother + I went to church - (I must go more!) I was glad we did. E + I went for a ride + later to a movie Heard Noel Coward on the radio.

1940 Monday - Well, Mlle - is out, and I haven't seen it yet! - Jean V. called me up + told me my suit rated a full page cut on page 80 - It is the navy blue reefer that I had hoped! - I am pretty excited... Stayed home all day doing "Vogue" - n.g.

1941 11:00 Inevitable procrastination... funny how I'd rather go to bed than work! - Pay Day, today... Wish I could save more than I do - I now have $400 - not bad; (but $200 of it really isn't mine) A few things I want to get, though. Sent in Subs to Mlle

Swell letter from Bob. -

1942 12:20 Well, dope, you're missing out on $500 prize Mlle Sh. Story. tsk tsk DeGray Concert. He is tres sooper. Relented + spoke to Bill + Leonard

1943 FRI I HAD EVERETT KROEGER TAKE MY PICTURE; HOPE THEY ARE good... IT WAS FUN, SORT OF. WE BOTH HAD SWELL LETTERS FROM Emil (HE URGED Leonard TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP PERMANENT) I HOPE HIS VISIT WILL NOT BE DISASTROUS. WE WALKED DOWN and MAILED Peg's LETTER AND OUT TO SCHOOL... TO THE ART ROOM - DARK and WARM WITH PAST and PRESENT EXPERIENCES with LEONARD... HE SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME earlier, I KNOW.

JANUARY 28

1939 1:30 Got the house cleaned by 10:15 - out at school from 11 - 5:30 Completed one problem. Tonight I washed my clothes, hair + me - At least, I'm clean.

1940 Sunday - 2:30 - Marg + I went to church today. - I washed the dishes while the folks went to a show (Enjoyed myself thoroughly) - 8 of us went skating tonight and really had a "loop" as D.J. would say + over to Donna's afterward.

1941 And why did you have to be so greedy today pie + ice cream - coke - ugh - Afraid I'm making mistake of living for the weekend; when I can go home again. - Wish I'd really have a build up, instead of the habitual let down... FEEL - FAT - UGH - 

1942 10:30 Felt like I'd been beaten about the head all morning. But swell, now - Leonard + Bill didn't show up for Tech - so I raced home from Cr. Wr. to avoid them.

1943 THURS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I'VE EVER done... TO TELL Leonard I'M GOING WEDNESDAY... HE WAS NOT PREPARED; THOUGHT I'D WAIT TILL Bob WENT... HE WAS MARVELOUS THOUGH. I CRIED, SOME... I HOPE IT DIDN'T MAKE IT HARD FOR HIM... HE'S BEEN FEELING VERY SELF-DISCONTENT... I'M GLAD TO SEE HIM FACING HIS PAST INDISCRETIONS WITH FORTITUDE and DECISION. HE IS SO MUCH MORE ADULT THAN BEFORE.

JANUARY 27

1939 Friday 12:00 Game tonight - We won. Smooth fast playing. Today I wore a blue sweater that Eleanor gave me. I'll have to wear it often. Everyone thought I'd lost weight.

1940 Sat. Amazingly enough, I was not all depressed today - Marguerite's fella didn't come to town after all so we went to the very amusing Cary Grant Rosalind Russell movie.

1941 11- Gee - where does TIME go? - started doing stuff right after dinner - no wrk really done yet - But, nuts, I'm going to bed. Perfect letter from E. - Freddie ate lunch with me. E. thinks I should quit dating F! - ? - Gee 4 days + I'll be home - Yippee!

1942 Tues Babe, you certainly wasted this evening you might even have made the effort of going to bed early! - Wilber came to History of Art class! Going to come alla time. oi oi. Hope have more pressure to bear by tomorrow.

1943 WED LOWEST I'VE BEEN FOR AGES... HOW FOOLISH TO CRY IN A DEPARTMENT STORE... I THOUGHT I WAS BETTER ABLE TO CONTROL MYSELF... ELEANOR SEEMS QUITE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING. COLLECTED MY CHECK FROM MISS FARLEY (watchband) ...MY PROOFS ARE awful... (I HOPE THEY DIDN'T CUT THE CURL OUT OF Leonard's HAIR)

JANUARY 26

1939 Thurs. 10:15 Picture me in bed + crackers + cheese + 3 dried prunes Ah Luxury! Spent day knitting down at Fantles - Saw Mr. Spitznagel at noon ( he got a smooth watch fr. Mr. Ruben)

Mr + Mrs Eide were down town too buying her a hat for tonight I hope they have fun. Sari + I caught up with each other over coffee

1940 - Utterly awful! - One damn thing after another - Lousy test - I couldn't think of anything. Engravers trouble. Headache!

1941 11- Sunday Damn you, why can't you relax + enjoy yourself? - No, you have to spoil everything what with analysis, etc. Freddie came over this aft he'd won $22 in a crap game - we went to Sioux City - Could have had fun; but worried about Henry getting home - I called him - he was out.

1942 12:30 Mon Philip + Eleanor are downstairs planning furiously - Good day for a Monday Dog - Techniques - Drawing L. did a fresco - Peggy + I went to Arsenic + Old Lace tonight. Quite amazin'

1943 TUES 12:00 I TOOK LEONARD TO Priantus, WHICH WASN'T SO HOT, I THOUGHT... MOTHER and I WENT TO HISTORY CLUB THIS AFT. TO HEAR Mr. Eide... I HAD TO LEAVE AT 4:00 TO GET MY PITCHOOR TOOK... ugh... WE WERE WITH Spitznagels' AFTERWARD - (I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I WANT TO talk TO HER) HOW CAN I LEAVE L?

JANUARY 25

1939 Wednesday 11:00 We (E + I) just got back from a piano concert by Muba Levitaeke I like the Chopin. I worked out at school this afternoon + finished 2 plates.

1940 Thursday... I feel marvelous! Moonlight on the snow tonight, I walked out to school to study Education - to sleep with Marie

1941 1:00 Saturday - God, another Saturday wasted - sketched operetta costumes + sets this aft. - notso hot - Saw Blanche + Betty - ate dinner - slept - took b. - washed hair, talked w/ Mrs. Reeves - fixed nails, listened to radio -

1942 Sun Well tentatively, Eleanor's getting married in 2 weeks! Philip better be good to her. Can't quite believe it. God, I hope things break right for her - She deserves it.

1943 10:00 I'm going to do some reading from the book of short stories Leonard brought over... It looks like nothing is going to prevent my going - oh, panic - I guess I can get along okay though. I hope so... Mother had club. Dad + I went to Black Swan.

JANUARY 24

1939 11:35 Tuesday - Am I mad! We have a test in E. Dr. It will take me a good day to do it! I didn't get up till 10:30 this morning - It was fun while it lasted!

1940 Wednesday - I think that perhaps I'm slipping back to normal again... I should after all the un-called for rest I've been getting... Got another letter from "Mlle" - asking for my size + congratulating me - It isn't just a dream then.

1941 12:30 - Thank God it's Friday - Maybe tomorrow I can get something done! Hm... Game tonight... Harley + Bob picked me up aft. dinner; they were mad - so played a beautiful game! - We went over to Mary's afterward for coffee - No Freddie

1942 SAT Didn't go to the State- Auggie game, too darn tired - Stayed home + washed clothes, etc. - Reports from Pearl Harbor inc. were released - AWFUL - I must write some (16) letters tomorrow!

1943 2:30 I JUST FINISHED A LETTER TO Emil; I DOUBT IF HE FINDS SOLACE IN IT - AT LEAST THEY WERE MY HONEST CONVICTIONS, though. EXCEPT FOR LETTERS [Paul, Stan, Bob R.] I ACCOMPLISHED LITTLE TODAY - Golly - ARE MY FEET COLD!!

JANUARY 23

1939 Monday 10:30 a start of a an un-vacationy vacation. - Will I ever get caught up w/ C. Drawing? (And shame on me for not having written an oration) I'm now settling down to a P.G. + an apple -

1940 Jan 20 Well I slipped up on this Saturday, I remember vaguely being at school... Took a test - stupid - Emil doesn't like my hair "done up", it was cold when we walked home... I went to sleep on the davenport after supper.

1941 10- HEARD ROBERT HUTCHINS ON US + WAR - COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO CONDEMN WAR - PUBLICLY QUESTIONED ADMINISTRATION... HOPE WE CAN STAY OUT... LINDBERGH SAID HOPED THAT NEITHER SIDE WON - ARBITRATION... SWELL LETTER FROM MOTHER... BETTY T. IS CERTAINLY HAVING A MESS OF A TIME ! ! ! !

1942 10:15 Ironic isn't it? Eleanor + I went to a Garbo movie pretty good escape - Dragged Eleanor out to school with me. We ate at the Huddle + went to moosic class.

Wonder if L. thinks of me -

1943 Sat Peggy writes she has another chance to audition for Let's Face It. I'll bet she makes it! Heard from Paul too. We went to the Edda party. Quite small, but not too bad. Leonard is spoiling me desperately. I won't want to dance w. anyone else. Good to know my moods can touch him.