JANUARY 29

1939 11:45 Sunday Mother + I went to church - (I must go more!) I was glad we did. E + I went for a ride + later to a movie Heard Noel Coward on the radio.

1940 Monday - Well, Mlle - is out, and I haven't seen it yet! - Jean V. called me up + told me my suit rated a full page cut on page 80 - It is the navy blue reefer that I had hoped! - I am pretty excited... Stayed home all day doing "Vogue" - n.g.

1941 11:00 Inevitable procrastination... funny how I'd rather go to bed than work! - Pay Day, today... Wish I could save more than I do - I now have $400 - not bad; (but $200 of it really isn't mine) A few things I want to get, though. Sent in Subs to Mlle

Swell letter from Bob. -

1942 12:20 Well, dope, you're missing out on $500 prize Mlle Sh. Story. tsk tsk DeGray Concert. He is tres sooper. Relented + spoke to Bill + Leonard

1943 FRI I HAD EVERETT KROEGER TAKE MY PICTURE; HOPE THEY ARE good... IT WAS FUN, SORT OF. WE BOTH HAD SWELL LETTERS FROM Emil (HE URGED Leonard TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP PERMANENT) I HOPE HIS VISIT WILL NOT BE DISASTROUS. WE WALKED DOWN and MAILED Peg's LETTER AND OUT TO SCHOOL... TO THE ART ROOM - DARK and WARM WITH PAST and PRESENT EXPERIENCES with LEONARD... HE SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME earlier, I KNOW.

JANUARY 28

1939 1:30 Got the house cleaned by 10:15 - out at school from 11 - 5:30 Completed one problem. Tonight I washed my clothes, hair + me - At least, I'm clean.

1940 Sunday - 2:30 - Marg + I went to church today. - I washed the dishes while the folks went to a show (Enjoyed myself thoroughly) - 8 of us went skating tonight and really had a "loop" as D.J. would say + over to Donna's afterward.

1941 And why did you have to be so greedy today pie + ice cream - coke - ugh - Afraid I'm making mistake of living for the weekend; when I can go home again. - Wish I'd really have a build up, instead of the habitual let down... FEEL - FAT - UGH - 

1942 10:30 Felt like I'd been beaten about the head all morning. But swell, now - Leonard + Bill didn't show up for Tech - so I raced home from Cr. Wr. to avoid them.

1943 THURS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I'VE EVER done... TO TELL Leonard I'M GOING WEDNESDAY... HE WAS NOT PREPARED; THOUGHT I'D WAIT TILL Bob WENT... HE WAS MARVELOUS THOUGH. I CRIED, SOME... I HOPE IT DIDN'T MAKE IT HARD FOR HIM... HE'S BEEN FEELING VERY SELF-DISCONTENT... I'M GLAD TO SEE HIM FACING HIS PAST INDISCRETIONS WITH FORTITUDE and DECISION. HE IS SO MUCH MORE ADULT THAN BEFORE.

JANUARY 27

1939 Friday 12:00 Game tonight - We won. Smooth fast playing. Today I wore a blue sweater that Eleanor gave me. I'll have to wear it often. Everyone thought I'd lost weight.

1940 Sat. Amazingly enough, I was not all depressed today - Marguerite's fella didn't come to town after all so we went to the very amusing Cary Grant Rosalind Russell movie.

1941 11- Gee - where does TIME go? - started doing stuff right after dinner - no wrk really done yet - But, nuts, I'm going to bed. Perfect letter from E. - Freddie ate lunch with me. E. thinks I should quit dating F! - ? - Gee 4 days + I'll be home - Yippee!

1942 Tues Babe, you certainly wasted this evening you might even have made the effort of going to bed early! - Wilber came to History of Art class! Going to come alla time. oi oi. Hope have more pressure to bear by tomorrow.

1943 WED LOWEST I'VE BEEN FOR AGES... HOW FOOLISH TO CRY IN A DEPARTMENT STORE... I THOUGHT I WAS BETTER ABLE TO CONTROL MYSELF... ELEANOR SEEMS QUITE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING. COLLECTED MY CHECK FROM MISS FARLEY (watchband) ...MY PROOFS ARE awful... (I HOPE THEY DIDN'T CUT THE CURL OUT OF Leonard's HAIR)

JANUARY 26

1939 Thurs. 10:15 Picture me in bed + crackers + cheese + 3 dried prunes Ah Luxury! Spent day knitting down at Fantles - Saw Mr. Spitznagel at noon ( he got a smooth watch fr. Mr. Ruben)

Mr + Mrs Eide were down town too buying her a hat for tonight I hope they have fun. Sari + I caught up with each other over coffee

1940 - Utterly awful! - One damn thing after another - Lousy test - I couldn't think of anything. Engravers trouble. Headache!

1941 11- Sunday Damn you, why can't you relax + enjoy yourself? - No, you have to spoil everything what with analysis, etc. Freddie came over this aft he'd won $22 in a crap game - we went to Sioux City - Could have had fun; but worried about Henry getting home - I called him - he was out.

1942 12:30 Mon Philip + Eleanor are downstairs planning furiously - Good day for a Monday Dog - Techniques - Drawing L. did a fresco - Peggy + I went to Arsenic + Old Lace tonight. Quite amazin'

1943 TUES 12:00 I TOOK LEONARD TO Priantus, WHICH WASN'T SO HOT, I THOUGHT... MOTHER and I WENT TO HISTORY CLUB THIS AFT. TO HEAR Mr. Eide... I HAD TO LEAVE AT 4:00 TO GET MY PITCHOOR TOOK... ugh... WE WERE WITH Spitznagels' AFTERWARD - (I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I WANT TO talk TO HER) HOW CAN I LEAVE L?

JANUARY 25

1939 Wednesday 11:00 We (E + I) just got back from a piano concert by Muba Levitaeke I like the Chopin. I worked out at school this afternoon + finished 2 plates.

1940 Thursday... I feel marvelous! Moonlight on the snow tonight, I walked out to school to study Education - to sleep with Marie

1941 1:00 Saturday - God, another Saturday wasted - sketched operetta costumes + sets this aft. - notso hot - Saw Blanche + Betty - ate dinner - slept - took b. - washed hair, talked w/ Mrs. Reeves - fixed nails, listened to radio -

1942 Sun Well tentatively, Eleanor's getting married in 2 weeks! Philip better be good to her. Can't quite believe it. God, I hope things break right for her - She deserves it.

1943 10:00 I'm going to do some reading from the book of short stories Leonard brought over... It looks like nothing is going to prevent my going - oh, panic - I guess I can get along okay though. I hope so... Mother had club. Dad + I went to Black Swan.

JANUARY 24

1939 11:35 Tuesday - Am I mad! We have a test in E. Dr. It will take me a good day to do it! I didn't get up till 10:30 this morning - It was fun while it lasted!

1940 Wednesday - I think that perhaps I'm slipping back to normal again... I should after all the un-called for rest I've been getting... Got another letter from "Mlle" - asking for my size + congratulating me - It isn't just a dream then.

1941 12:30 - Thank God it's Friday - Maybe tomorrow I can get something done! Hm... Game tonight... Harley + Bob picked me up aft. dinner; they were mad - so played a beautiful game! - We went over to Mary's afterward for coffee - No Freddie

1942 SAT Didn't go to the State- Auggie game, too darn tired - Stayed home + washed clothes, etc. - Reports from Pearl Harbor inc. were released - AWFUL - I must write some (16) letters tomorrow!

1943 2:30 I JUST FINISHED A LETTER TO Emil; I DOUBT IF HE FINDS SOLACE IN IT - AT LEAST THEY WERE MY HONEST CONVICTIONS, though. EXCEPT FOR LETTERS [Paul, Stan, Bob R.] I ACCOMPLISHED LITTLE TODAY - Golly - ARE MY FEET COLD!!

JANUARY 23

1939 Monday 10:30 a start of a an un-vacationy vacation. - Will I ever get caught up w/ C. Drawing? (And shame on me for not having written an oration) I'm now settling down to a P.G. + an apple -

1940 Jan 20 Well I slipped up on this Saturday, I remember vaguely being at school... Took a test - stupid - Emil doesn't like my hair "done up", it was cold when we walked home... I went to sleep on the davenport after supper.

1941 10- HEARD ROBERT HUTCHINS ON US + WAR - COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO CONDEMN WAR - PUBLICLY QUESTIONED ADMINISTRATION... HOPE WE CAN STAY OUT... LINDBERGH SAID HOPED THAT NEITHER SIDE WON - ARBITRATION... SWELL LETTER FROM MOTHER... BETTY T. IS CERTAINLY HAVING A MESS OF A TIME ! ! ! !

1942 10:15 Ironic isn't it? Eleanor + I went to a Garbo movie pretty good escape - Dragged Eleanor out to school with me. We ate at the Huddle + went to moosic class.

Wonder if L. thinks of me -

1943 Sat Peggy writes she has another chance to audition for Let's Face It. I'll bet she makes it! Heard from Paul too. We went to the Edda party. Quite small, but not too bad. Leonard is spoiling me desperately. I won't want to dance w. anyone else. Good to know my moods can touch him.

JANUARY 22

1939 Sunday 11:45 I've been inside all day - doing a lot of nothing heard Jane Cowl in Marie Stuart and the 5th Symphony of T. Read a book on clothes. Mary Anne was over for a while.

1940 Jan 23 Tues Typed my quizz questions today - wasted my evening, really. - Have yet to prepare for Bible exam tomorrow morning. - I grow increasingly stupid in my own estimation...

1941 11:30 (Dammit; wish it were 9 or even 10) - Well, hope you're satisfied, Dope... Henry is a fine, intellectual - very far-sighted fellow. He's amazing, really. I like him - But more objectively then the way I acted tonight Hope he does not call for a while at least!

1942 10:15 And I'm dead + going to bed Classes have dwindled from registration... Leonard was a sweet child today - It can't last Heard from Mike

1943 FRI I had John + Leonard over for dinner. The folks were out and Eleanor made Italian spaghetti. It was successful, in spite of my tremors. We went over to D.J's later in the evening. Heard 6 flats, unfurnished. Why Don't You do Riiight!

JANUARY 21

1939 12:00 Sat Painted from 10:30 till 4:30 this day - the floor + windows are done, the wind howled all day long. It is cold + bitter. Tonight I didn't get any ambition till about 9:00 Washed my hair + clothes + heard Toscanini direct "Bolero"

1940 Jan 22 Monday 12:00 - I swore I'd get that V. quizz finished + didn't... If I'd only get things done! - Maybe I'd be a bit more happy - Everything I do enjoy a little bit is gnawed by the knowledge I "should" be doing something else -

1941 Jan 21 Well whadya know I was the gal who was going to bed at 7:30 tonight. It is now 2:00 Freddie took me to Antler's Club Dance - Bang! Now I can't figure out if he will call again or not - after what happened. And just what I should do -

1942 THURS Gee it's been a long time, baby. Makes it even better, though when we wait for it... We went to Me + My Gal. It's a nice + warm feeling to feel sure of you... I'm glad we were together because that horrible letter from Emil -

JANUARY 20

1939 10:45 I'm through with tests + registering! - And am I relieved! - Talked with Eide this aft. - There are some marvelous "Spanish Castles" built down in that art room! - He mentioned the possibility of a gob that would work into buying for a millinery department. It sounds much too good to be true. I told H I couldn't go to Plymouth this summer, possibly next

Mary, Virginia + I went to Young. Nothing at all what I expected _ but very entertaining. V. - I'm pretty sure had a date afterwards.

1940 Jan 21 1:30 Sunday - When I don't go to church, I feel like a pagan, when I do go to "" - I usually end up preferring my own salvation. I felt especially pagan today. - Hated myself - Went to Ninotchka - waited for the telephone

1941 Jan 20 2:15 Today President Roosevelt was inaugurated into the unprecedented 3rd term - started out fun - what to do tomorrow? Must accomplish - Heard a wonderful Polish pianist - worth the effort of going to Sioux City - Mary + I enjoyed it so much - Liszt, Rachmaninoff - Bach!

1942 Tues 11:15 (8:00 faculty meeting. ugh!) Bitter disillusion - Bill + Leonard picked up a coupla gals over at the Hen last night! - They didn't show up all day. Peg + I did over frescoes + went to game tonight. Saw Leonard at Palace. He went to a funeral.

1943 12- I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO HIBERNATE UNTIL IT GETS WARMER... I WALKED DOWN TOWN THIS MORNING (20 SOME BELOW) AND HAD TO WAIT ages FOR A BUS TO COME HOME  tonight... HAD LETTERS FROM BOTH DON (in N. Guinea) AND STAN... MOTHER ASKED ME WHAT I'D DO IF EVERYONE COMES HOME AT ONCE! BOUGHT THE Beige BOYS JACKET - WORKED A FEW BUTTONHOLES.

JANUARY 19

1939 11:30 Studied with Marg for test tonight. Wrote Drama test from 1:30 till 12:30 - pretty rugged - Only one left! Slept + worried intermittently this aft. 

1940 History repeats itself - We went to the Indian over the Hill! M makes me very angry - She didn't ask Marie over to supper with us.

1941 Well, I went out with "Henry" tonight... And, unexpectedly, rather enjoyed myself. He is darn intelligent, I love his accent, what he thinks of me, I'm sure I don't know... I wonder if Freddie has had further instructions from headquarters? - Anyhow, he hasn't called... Hmm, tomorrow, new semester... I know nothings - Not prepared - Hysterical laughter. 

1942 12:30 Mon. Accomplished little. Got my grades turned in, at any rate... Bill + Leonard didn't work on their panels! I should give them both incompletes Sari + I went out + listened to records + talked to Lee

1943 11:30 FINISHED MY yellow PAJAMAS, MADE some BROWNIES... WENT OUT TO SCHOOL AND Leonard CAME - AS IF PRE-ARRANGED. WE WERE ALONE... HE RATHER WANTED TO GO TO THE DANCE TONIGHT, BUT I MADE "PRACTICAL" NOISES. (REMIND ME TO QUIT THAT) FINISHED POSTERS, MADE OUT NATHALIE'S french TEST TONIGHT - Mr. K likes my slacks!

JANUARY 18

1939 12:30 Wednesday Studied for Drama this afternoon out at school with Ruthie, Dot - and tonight, too. - Revised some "pomes" for creative writing + had to read in class - Carp had everyone screaming with his character studies - Stan wrote about a Poker Game The Boys brought me home about 10:00

1940 Last night it got down to 24 below - I am not averse to using the tunnel these days! - test begin tomorrow, I have one Saturday - and I better study! 

1941 Sat Hell - looks like I'll never have a weekend to myself! - Slaved today + plenty to do tomorrow... I am a forsaken woman, so I took advantage of it... washed my hair (pinned it up) and clothes + bath + nails - + so to bed.

1942 1:30 (Jan 16) Bob + I cleaned up Art Room - Heard from Mr. Eide + Carp (who surprised me!) Eleanor + D.J. + I went to Suspicion - Made out my Exam for tomorrow

1943 12:00 EVEN IF IT WAS 26 degrees BELOW, I VENTURED OUT TODAY - MADE A COUPLE MORE POSTERS, WENT TO THE DENTIST - [ONE FILLED - HAD THEM cleaned] DEB SAYS THEY WANT ME TO DO THE REC ROOM OVER. DON'T THINK I WILL... MR. Eide WON'T HAVE ANY TRUCK.

JANUARY 17

1939 Tuesday 10:30 - Took Fr Test today (it wasn't as bad as I planned) (I am committing the sin of eating crackers in bed!) I just finished reports + now I've got to start studying Eng Drama missed game w/Y tonight wonder how it turned out

1940 Wed - 12:00 It is way below outside. - an effort to do anything when its like this... went to dentist - clean teeth - no fillings! ! I think I'll wear my slacks tomorrow!

1941 11- Dull... test papers... grades... more grades... Next semester? Phooey!... Wumkes did not materialize for the game tonight - I helped gals sell candy + ice cream cones - Hope I finish tomorrow

1942 11:00 Gave my last test today. Quite Rugged - Took me all aft. to correct papers... Eleanor came out after me. No Leonard, today. We had a nize dinner; sank into a stupor.

1943 SUN QUITE dull... WHAT ELSE WHEN IT'S 26 BELOW? IRONED A LITTLE... ANSWERED AN AD FOR fashion artist AT MARTIN'S... I GUESS I'D DO IT - FOR $150. WE HAD DINNER ABOUT 5:30... I WROTE A LONG LETTER TO Wilber AND READ A CHAPTER IN Cheney -

JANUARY 16

1939 (- I got my 2.50 check + sent it in for a yrs subscription to Mlle.)

Monday 9:45 and I'm just halfway through studying for my French semester ex (at 8:30 tomorrow) I'm nominated to edit the "Edda" next year. - It's too much responsibility!

1940 (You said a mouthful) - I couldn't sleep on accounta that darn thing, again - But I refuse to get neurotic about it - yet! - We had a game - push over - Donna came over + stayed.

1941 10- Hello, Dope!

Don't know why you have any cause to feel so good - Didn't do a damn thing again today (Well, I wrote 2 letters + corrected spelling papers) And wouldn't you know! Freddie would call just as soon as I got out of the house I did wanta go to the movie pictures

1942 Jan 18 Sun - Darling, you get A+ on "technique" - Gee, I'm glad you called. Mother conveniently retired when we came back from the show - Dark, still perfect. I think my taking things more LIGHTLY relieved Leonard a great deal.

1943 SAT I cleaned up the house (Eleanor furrowed into her room all day - tsk, on Philip's day off) I washed m'hair, pinned it up. Bill was over for dinner. He's had his pre-induction exam at Omaha. - Scrubbed, put on my pink ni. gown. read

JANUARY 15

1939 Sunday 10:42 (I wish Ray would come every wkend - Maybe I'd stand a chance w/ Rolf)

- I went noble + washed the dishes while the folks (+ Bill's + Jean's) went to a movie this aft. V + I went for a walk + nearly froze our legs it was so cold We stopped in for a cup of hot chocolate + Rolf talked w/ us

1940 Monday - I am utterly out - (Leonard + Bill) pasted pictures - took society shots - I had no idea when it came to really taking them - T. Dorsey and we didn't go - Couldn't have stood up.

1941 Day Desultory... At least I definitely was not crushed. Glenn Miller is playing S of Volga Boatmen. Tres swell. Had a simply crushing letter from Bob... Law... and not just a passing jag. I am now going to try + write him something encouraging. God knows what. Also Del + Jo - need replying to!

1942 Tres fatigue. Gave Design test - all day. So tired I could hardly finish dinner! Emil + Wilber + John were almost hi after their Zao test -

1943 FRI finished 4 posters... quite good. Leonard wandered in + affectionately pinched my knee once - fresh. I told him he'd better study his history when he wondered what there was to do this wk-end (DAMMIT). Cut out yellow p.j.s

JANUARY 14

1939 11:40 tonight we lost the b.b. game with S. Falls College! Tommy played hard he was fouled out, though ( I could still like him an awful lot) today (Sat) I cleaned the house, washed hair + me + mimeographed 500 post cards

1940 11:30 Margaret + I went to A. Wolcott. He is the acme of raconteurs + besides he's marvelous. I really wonder if it is we who pass + change + that time is constant... That the future is already laid out! - Spitznagel said he's thought he has a job in a ritzy new house in the hills!

1941 1- WELL, I GUESS IT'S LOVE; BUT I'M NOT INCLUDED IN THE SET-UP... FREDDIE FINALLY CAME THROUGH... HE REALLY THINKS HE'S IN LOVE WITH HER AND HAS GONE WITH HER ABOUT 2 YEARS (HE SHOULD KNOW BY THIS TIME) - STILL SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO GO WITH ME, THOUGH. AND WHO AM I TO TURN DOWN A FELLOW LIKE HIM... BUT I SUPPOSE IT WILL BE PRETTY PLATONIC... HOW BORING-

1942 1:09 Well, Mother's premonition was right. We met Eleanor on the 11:55. She's sleeping with Mother - Emil + I talked + walked this afternoon. My God - I wasn't wrong; I'm sorry.

1943 1:15 VIRGINIA + I WENT TO Once Upon a Honeymoon. WE HAD TO SWAT OUT MY CORNER IN THE BUFFET; IT MADE ME FEEL empty, TOO... FINISHED A POSTER THIS AFT... PEGGY WROTE - SHE + DONNA WILL MEET ME, THANK Goodness.

JANUARY 13

1939 11:30 - Friday Read plays all afternoon. Saw 3 1-act plays this evening - or rather I put on make-up helped set the stage + qu'ed for them

1940 Sat. - Sometimes I think its all just a lot of pretending - E made me begin to wonder... Not that he didn't mean his "Leiden" sincerely but that rather his understanding made my enjoyment seem shallow by comparison...

1941 (DUMMY... HE WENT TO THE SHOW W/ HIS DAD; I DON'T GET IT!) - RIGHT NOW, IT DOESN'T SEEM AWFLY IMPORTANT - BEEN THINKING AGAIN. I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. I CAN'T BE HAPPY WITH THIS KIND OF AN EXISTENCE... I'M NOT FREE ENOUGH... DEAR GOD, I HOPE I'M NOT TEACHING NEXT YEAR... MRS. R WAS SO SWEET; I CRIED, REALLY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE.

1942 1:00 Gave doozie of test in techniques [Leonard got 97.5!] - Went to a movie with Mother tonight D.J., Bernice + I saw Blood + Sand.

1943 1:15 I WAS RIGHT - Mother DID COME HOME... WAS SITTING UP WRITING TO R. HW'D (a GOOD LETTER, I THINK) WHEN SHE CAME... SHE IS WONDERFUL; IT WAS A GOOD THING SHE WENT. D WAS VERY ILL. THEY TOOK HIM TO THE Hospital... LEONARD DIDN'T HAVE TO READ TONIGHT AFTER ALL MY MISSIONARY WORK, too -

JANUARY 12

1939 9:50 Boy, did I last! I've never felt more alive than I have today... I talked with Mr. Eide half the afternoon. He is perfect. - I can't be quite platonic about him!

(E. paid $50 on my tuition - gee, I'm grateful)

1940 Fri Well, I spent my money - It wasn't as much fun as I had hoped... Because it had been so long delayed, I guess - Got some "flat" heeled brown spectators which I've wanted for several months.

1941 I WOULD GIVE QUITE A BIT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW WHERE FREDERIC IS + WHAT HE'S DOING - "STAG PARTY" - MY EYE - BETTY SAW HIM WITH THE BABE OVER AT REMSEN - MADE ME FEEL PRETTY LOW - WAS HE LYING OR NOT WHEN HE BROKE THAT DATE THIS AFT?

1942 12:30 Guess I'll sleep with Mother... Rooted around down town; bought a blue suit new shoes! - Made out test this aft. took me hours to type it. (L measured my new heels - just right)

1943 10:30 And I'M GOING TO BED - A RELIEF TO, FOR A CHANGE!... DIDN'T DO MUCH EXCEPT BUY MARG'S BABY A PINK SHAWL, MEET Virginia FOR LUNCH, GO OVER TO All Saints TO SUGGEST THINGS FOR REC. Room. EMBROIDERED "M" ON NIGHT-shirt

JANUARY 11

1939 11:45 Much tired, but feel much good. V + I talked much too late. Creative Wr. class + worked on paper. - Can I last tomorrow?

1940 11:00 I seem to be getting a bit more efficient... Maybe its an illusion. - but I'm still optimistic - cashed my Mlle check today.

1941 12- SLAVED-

EVEN WORKED

TONIGHT, AT

SCHOOL

FULL MOON- FOOEY

1942 12:30 Gee, absolutely balmy; distinct change (Maybe it will inspire me to change) Sara came over - considering Chicago. Eleanor is coming home, I can't quite believe it. Maybe I'll spend some money tomorrow. Went over to Calls tonight (Unexpectedly enjoyed myself)

1943 12:30 HUNK WANTS ME TO STOP AT CAMP Grant FOR A DAY ON MY WAY, [How AM I GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS one?] GOT MY CHECK, AT LONG LAST - SUPPOSE, IF I HAD SOME FORETHOUGHT, I'D HAVE HAD A BIGGER ONE... LOOKED FOR A COAT; NOT wild ABOUT ANY of 'em.... ELEANOR + PHILLIP + I ENJOYED A LATE DINNER - candles, wine, cigarettes

JANUARY 10

1939 12:00 - Carlson mentioned getting Scholarship to Dramatic School again - (If I could only go!) - 

And me with an 8 o'clock tomorrow (that's what comes of playing bridge!) I picked the 10 best movies of '38 for the paper today - lousy job

1940 11:30 Wed. Carp wanted to go to the show - But wonder of wonders I said it was too late (After creative writing) Dr. S met with us.

1941 12- PAUSE FOR JOKE - FREDDIE'S EX-FLAME WAS HOME FOR CHRISTMAS - THUS, MY ENTHUSIASTIC WELCOME! BLANCHE TOLD ME ABOUT IT, FINALLY AT THE PANTRY (FREDDIE HAD SEEN HER + ALLAN TUES!). I WAS REALLY RELIEVED TO FIND OUT THE REASON HE HADN'T CALLED... CAME HOME, WAITED UNTIL 7:30, THEN SETTLED DOWN TO A LONESOME WEEKEND - AND HE CALLED... SO DAMN GLAD HE DID... PLAYED RUSSIAN BANKED... HE TRIED SO HARD TO TELL ME ABOUT IT - AND I COULDN'T... I DIDN'T WANT TO

1942 12- finished tempera panel - painted all day; Felt lousy but it didn't affect me much. Everything is War dominated - much. It is too serious. Chils, Marie + DJ were over

1943 SUN 1:45 It is too bad we didn't talk with each other before - isn't it? ...I FINALLY FOUND THE RIGHT MOMENT + SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY - AND WAS GLAD I DID... IF WE CAN'T BELIEVE IN US now - WHAT CAN WE BELIEVE IN ? [WE saw G.W. Slept Here]came home after walking by D.J.'s - and then talked] DAVID CAME OVER THIS afternoon

JANUARY 9

1939 9:45 Not bad, for a Monday - finished Education Reports, typed a letter for Mr. Eide and applied for a job at Beache's - I heard "Mayerling" tonight (also went back to Philos)

1940 11- WELL - I HOPE FREDDIE HASN'T FORGOTTEN ME - IF HE HAS - WHAT THE HELL - VEGETATION WOULD BE PLEASANT - I THINK A VERTEBRAE IS OUT OF PLACE... HEADACHE WITH LEAST EXCUSE - HOPE I CAN SLEEP FOR A CHANGE - (NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART)

1942 Fri - Had 3 teeth filled - Oh joy - Gals all still locked in dormitory We discussed this noon w/ Krause I'm not as pessimistic as he is, anyhow. Hunk was over tonight.

1943 SAT I FELT terrible TODAY... CLUTCHED THE HOT WATER BOTTLE ALL AFT... WE HAD Bill C FOR DINNER [I ---N'T THINK I IMPRESSED HIM ATTAL] ... SALE ---ENT TO THE DANCE; I STILL FELT awful... BUT I THINK I MADE HIM HAPPY, ANYHOW... BUT I hope HE DOESN'T GET ANY ideas

JANUARY 8

1939 11:30 I guess last night rather spoiled the whole weekend - or maybe it was just my queazy stomach

1940 12:00 - Mon Well, I did get up early - but it was easy because I was so wkeful all night - Did quite a number of the little jobs on my "list" stayed at Dorm

1941 12- Wed Sweet letters from Eleanor + Del - wrote to em both. WELL, ALMOST FORGOT YOU - STILL NOT IN HABIT OF GETTING UP - BUT GUESS MAYBE WK IS A LITTLE BETTER ORGANIZED - HATE IT (TSK, TSK, SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT!)

1942 Thurs Slept on davenport after supper. And then went to bed! Gee, I hate getting up at the crack of dawn - 

1943 FRI 12:30 IN SPITE OF "public opinion", I WASHED MY HAIR AT 7:30 [DATE at 8:00] - WHICH NEARLY PRECIPITATED A nervous breakdown. IT IS A GOOD THING I'M LEAVING SOON; PHILIP IS ALWAYS TAKING MY SIDE - WHICH IS Bad ---- Bill + Marion + Harold + June + we WENT - TO Billy's AND DANCED... LEONARD HAS GOBS OF WORK TO DO... I HOPE I GET A CHANCE TO TELL HIM WHAT I DECIDED TO, soon. THOUGH...

JANUARY 7

1939 1:00 I enjoyed the afternoon in the Art Library with Bob + Hunk - telling fortunes much more than the evening - Well, I wanted experience + I guess I got it! (If that's the kind of an Ed. you get at Minn. U.!)

1940 Sunday - 10:30 - I went to church today and without my breakfast... This is just the beginning of a lot of very strong resolutions. I will get up in the morning!

1941 11- GEE, I HOPE I WAKE UP TOMORROW... DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO MAKE MY MENTAL ALARM WORK ANY MORE... RADIO PLAYING FRENESI - I LIKE - JOSE WROTE A DAMN GOOD LETTER TO CLARA... HOPE SHE ANSWERS QUICKLY... HER LETTERS ARE SO SWELL TO GET... GOOD AS TALKING WITH HER - I'M HUNGRY... GUESS I'LL EAT A PRUNE + RETIAH!

1942 Just re-read "The Girls" Should have gone to bed instead. Good, busy day. Fresco started. Drawing Class. Creative Wr. Dinner w/ Emil + Wilber

1943 11:00 SLUMPED THIS MORNING... CUT OUT + STARTED A PINK FLANNEL NIGHTGOWN THIS AFT... CLEANED UP THE HOUSE - AND ME... D.J. and I WALKED DOWNTOWN [IN BITTAH cold] TO MAIL LETTERS... I'M PROBABLY too GARRULOUS... SHE SAYS R HOW'D IS DUE FOR A FURLOUGH. READ Mlle

JANUARY 6

1939 10:55 - V, M, + I planned "futures" + ate hot dogs + rode around until nearly six after school. It seems we would all be happy if we could have enough money to start "careering" - I broke into print today. My picture is in "Mademoiselle"

1940 Saturday - 1:30 - Well I really got something done! I scrubbed the kitchen floor today... Sometimes I think I should concentrate on something simple like that

1941 (BRICK quit school) (so do I Marion. Even the moronic simplicity of school teaching is a little complicated for a brain like yours) - Well, Thank God Monday's over! - Freddie picked me up at the Pantry. I think I'll play uppy + act a little cool - (even if I do have to strain myself) - I did tonight - a little

1942 It was so darn cold out at school - hard to feel energetic about things. Good to get back, though. Read Bertrand Russell's "A Free Man's Worship." Good. Heard fr. Don Gregory - on his way East - God

1943 11:00 I WAS IN A haze ALL DAY! - WENT OUT TO SCHOOL - WROTE AN ANSWER TO THE "TIMES" ad. Leonard + I WERE FAINTLY EMBARRASSED AT BEHOLDING ONE ANOTHER... HAD A CARD FROM Peggy. WANTS ME FOR A ROOMMATE... MARGARET HAS A BABY - A boy! - I WENT TO Creative Wr... LEONARD SAW US TO THE BUS... MIGOSH I'M CRAZY about HIM.

JANUARY 5

1939 11:00  Classes started again. It was good to get back.

1940 - Not much accomplished today, I'm afraid. Spent the aft. out at school. Won't see Engravers till Mon. We went skating tonight + popped corn.

1941 1:00 It was so sweet of you to call, Frederick! - (Damn you, anyhow) - But I do know what I'm going to teach tomorrow)

1942 12:00 (Gee, I gotta get up in the morning. How'll I do it?) R.H. # + I went down to Civic Theater tryouts (Countrymen has me typed) We had hot choc. + talked -

1943 1:45 DARLING - YOU DIDN'T have TO SAY IT; I CERTAINLY DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO. BUT I'M HAPPY and EXULTANT and PROUD and GLAD you DID! I WAS "INCOHERENT", as USUAL! DO YOU THINK THERE'LL BE ENOUGH OF US - THE WAY WE ARE NOW - LEFT TO STILL WANT TO GET MARRIED AFTER THE WAR? DEAR GOD I HOPE SO... NOW IT WILL REALLY BE HARD FOR ME TO GO AND easier THOUGH; I'LL have SOMETHING TO HANG ONTO... WE WENT TO DINNER AT THE TOWN CLUB... I HAD A DAIQUIRI first AND peach BRANDY, AFTERWARDS; I TOOK L. TO THE Orpheum. WE CAME HOME. I HAD MY 1ST PROPOSAL...

JANUARY 4

1939 11:00 I quit - after one more whole day at a drawing board - I hope I never see another one - (But I will) I've even got black O's under my eyes

1940 12:50 Didn't get up till late; struggled out to school - worked till 9:00 - Bob + I went over to Eides for the Evening Its so darn cold out - 15 below!

1941 Sat Oh to be young + ambitious - as then - I can't get started. Now, its too late - 

1942 1:30 That damn book monopolized another day (I otta see Mr. F!) It is kind of a challenge. Or is that an excuse? I know I'm reading it too fast. Greedy of me, really. Hemingway. Steinbeck. Romaine.

1943 1:00 OH GAWD! - "HUNK" IS HOME ON furlough. WE WENT TO Yankee Doodle... Leonard, OF COURSE, CALLED; HE NEVER SEEMS TO GET mad, THOUGH. I IRONED + FIXED MY green CORDUROY... HAD TO BE TAKEN IN AT THE SEAMS... LIKE TO GET "MORE THINNER" BEFORE I GO. Snook CALLED AGAIN. THEY STILL WANT ME FOR Watch on the Rhine -

JANUARY 3

1939 11:15 Feel Swell. But only 1 day of grace is left - in which to accomplish an unbearable amt of things. I've got to keep going full steam until after exams!

1940 Marg + I had so much fun. - We got up late; by time I finally got ready to go up to school, it was time for lunch... Donna Jean + Bette + I went to "We Are Not Alone"

1941 1:30 Robert wanted to play bridge tonight, so we played bridge. R. Howard is a "good kid" (-Still thinks I should join the Club) All I did was record grades, go to the dentist + make brownies-

1942 1:00 Just about enough of quiet evenings home with a good book! - Although Thurber was MARVELOUS. Hope this cold jag breaks up before school starts D.J. + I went to "Babes on Broadway"

1943 AMEN! - ONLY I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A GOOD BOOK, tonight... GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO START IN TEACHING AGAIN tomorrow. BUT WISH I WERE GOING TO WORK, in a way. Leonard is CUTTING A STENCIL FOR SOME POSTERS TONIGHT. I WAS GLAD HE CALLED anyhow

JANUARY 2

1939 11:58 E is reading "I'm a Stranger Here Myself" - Today I helped Mr. E hang an exhibit Then he took me downtown to see the New Hollywood in the process! - Fun. (I mixed some of the colors for the decorations)

1940 Staying with Marg tonight. I expected to go downtown + spend some money today; but I didn't get my check until tonight. $15!

1941 1- THIS IS A SWELL WAY TO START OUT, DOPE. IF I DON'T CHANGE MY WAYS PRETTY DAMN QUICK, I AM GOING TO BE IN AN EMOTIONAL RUT - A PRETTY COMPLICATED ONE AT THAT! - I AM THE EPITOME OF PROCRASTINATION, OF WEAKNESS + STUPIDITY - DAMMIT! I WILL CHANGE! - (DID TALK W/ CLARA - DID GET A LETTER FROM FREDERICK!)

good night fathead!

1942 1:45 Hope I retain some of UNKNOWABLE - Santayana - Good - I want to read it again - Hope Leonard sees it. Finished my sweater today. That's just about all. Looks like Jo + I aren't going to get around to our collaboration.

1943 11:05 I'M QUITE GAY... I DON'T KNOW WHY! HACKED UP MY Black JERSEY; NEW PEASANTY BRAID. MET Shirley DOWNTOWN... I LIKE HER BETTER - AGAIN... [NOW, SHE'S CHANGED HER MIND ABOUT GOING OUT W/ BILL AGAIN] MIXED PAINT over AT ALL Saints. PERUSED THE Ladies H.J. QUEL EXCITEMENT!

JANUARY 1

1939 1:20 This is the beginning. So many times I've felt that I wanted to put down what I feel from day to day. And 1:30 - That was last night - Virginia stayed all night with me - we talked until 5 o'clock - it was more fun than I had expected to have! - Now I'm tired + my head is full of E. drawing

1940 - So soon! - another year... So much has happened. Perhaps what I've written the past year has been rather superficial. I shall try to fewer happenings and more experiences.

1941 - DEAR GOD ! - 

GIVE ME STRENGTH

AND COURAGE -

GOODNESS,

TRUTH -

BEAUTY-

1942 12:35 DIDN'T FEEL BLYTHE... Very WINTER - Took folks to dinner. Mother's flowers finally came (Probably selfish impulse that made me send'em - I love them so much) Stan called. We listened to records w/ Carp + Minnie. He has technique, but no finesse (No Leonard)

1943 MIGOLLY I WAS TIRED TODAY; COULD HARDLY STAY awake THROUGH dinner... SLEPT till 12:00... JOHN K. CAME OVER AND TOLD ME ABOUT NEW YEARS AT THE Town Club (I'M GLAD WE WERE WHERE WE WERE) WE WENT FOR A WALK. John SAYS R. HOW'D # HAS HAD PANGS SIMILAR TO EMIL'S... I SUPPOSE WE ALL SHALL BECOME INURED TO BEING AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER -