OCTOBER 30

1939 (I smell nauseatingly of "Candy Soap") - My classes got a little rugged to-day. - If they show any more of the same stuff tomorrow... I don't believe H.S. seniors should have to be nagged at. I refuse to do it. (We gave Columbus to-night)
1940 Utterly nauseated with myself.
1941 I succeeded in not only up-setting myself, but Leonard, too. I'm certainly sick of platonics---
Damn Damn Damn
1942 Fri Another of the same...mild frustration. Disgusted w/ myself. Weak character no decision, no spunk...Saw " in the movies...not too bad...tried to get the menus designed...Mother + Dad + I went to The Glass Key...Augie beat N.O.--19-0.
1943 Sat. Most of the day in bed for me...nghaa.

OCTOBER 29

1939 All day, we expected a "special" from E. telling us what her job was- but no letter --- (we got a telegram yesterday) - Sary + I saw Bette Davis in "The Old Maid"- (God, I hope I'm not going to be one!) 
Is it possible-another Sunday gone?
1940 11:00 At least ---a start. If only I'd do this every night I wouldn't be in such a mess! --- I think I am a lousy teacher --- I cannot develope the kind of a class attitude I want --- I hope I do not get so bad that I let them walk all over me - Fraid I've got a good start ---Wish some of those men would materialize
1941 Wed We all went to Male Animal - very mediocre -- I'd like to play in Ladies In Retirement
I think I'm the psychopathic type ! ! ! ! !
1942 (yeah, I still think so) ... Gee, I shoulda stayed home tonight! -- but I didn't- Thur. I shouldn't have gone down to Lok's with John + Leonard!- But I did... It was misty. I was un conscious. 
1943

OCTOBER 28

1939 Sat.- The wasted luxury of holidays! I could have accomplished so much I did so little---just got myself clean--- I feel too warm, too bloated, 
too "soapy"---and faintly utterly nauseated with myself!
1940 11:00 Geez---It looks like that that papers is not going to get my attention---When am I going to start pouring it on?---struggled through Monday--- 4 to go, now...Letter fr. Jo--- she has written to Leonard--- Just as I though...migosh, what did she say? Afraid I don't care---Harley took me for a ride---   tsk, tsk
1941 Tues Mother + I went to the movies--(I can look at Robt. Montgomery + not be reminded of Frederic) Saw John at C. Theater this aft. ----he still disturbs me.
1942 Wed  Leonard and I went over to Cliff + Maureen's tonight --- and 50 other people, too... They are spunky little kids! Have 1 more panel... Maybe I'll do the waitresses uniforms
I love Leonard more deeply and more quietly...
1943

OCTOBER 27

1939 11:35 I really can say now I like Pr. Teaching- I'm crazy about the youngsters...Secretly, I was quite flattered when one of the boys- Jim- asked me for a date- 
1 of them wrote a theme 1 on why I dislike Pr. teachers! Saw Civic Theater play "The Tavern"- a little on the corny side, I thought.
1940 10:30 Inevitably, here I am back again. I sure hope eventually I can get so I look forward to coming back to my job. But not right now, I'm afraid! - Pried my eyes open this a.m. to have breakfast with family and Wilma- I almost went back to bed when they insisted on talking politics!- Slept intermittently all day...ate...so to bed.
1941 Mon God, faculty dinner. Lillian + I rustled around in the country after prairie grass + pumpkins + corn. -- - tables looked okay                    Emil came home with me                 hung pitchers
1942 Tues One and a half on today... My back gets tired, painting...Leonard started on the lettering...I love working with him. Washed my hair and wrote to R. H'wd #. 
Wilmer and Eleanor irritate me-----
1943