JANUARY 8

1939 11:30 I guess last night rather spoiled the whole weekend - or maybe it was just my queazy stomach
1940 12:00 - Mon Well, I did get up early - but it was easy because I was so wkeful all night - Did quite a number of the little jobs on my "list" stayed at Dorm
1941 12- Wed Sweet letters from Eleanor + Del - wrote to em both. WELL, ALMOST FORGOT YOU - STILL NOT IN HABIT OF GETTING UP - BUT GUESS MAYBE WK IS A LITTLE BETTER ORGANIZED - HATE IT (TSK, TSK, SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT!)
1942 Thurs Slept on davenport after supper. And then went to bed! Gee, I hate getting up at the crack of dawn - 
1943 FRI 12:30 IN SPITE OF "public opinion", I WASHED MY HAIR AT 7:30 [DATE at 8:00] - WHICH NEARLY PRECIPITATED A nervous breakdown. IT IS A GOOD THING I'M LEAVING SOON; PHILIP IS ALWAYS TAKING MY SIDE - WHICH IS Bad ---- Bill + Marion + Harold + June + we WENT - TO Billy's AND DANCED... LEONARD HAS GOBS OF WORK TO DO... I HOPE I GET A CHANCE TO TELL HIM WHAT I DECIDED TO, soon. THOUGH...

JANUARY 7

1939 1:00 I enjoyed the afternoon in the Art Library with Bob + Hunk - telling fortunes much more than the evening - Well, I wanted experience + I guess I got it! (If that's the kind of an Ed. you get at Minn. U.!)
1940 Sunday - 10:30 - I went to church today and without my breakfast... This is just the beginning of a lot of very strong resolutions. I will get up in the morning!
1941 11- GEE, I HOPE I WAKE UP TOMORROW... DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO MAKE MY MENTAL ALARM WORK ANY MORE... RADIO PLAYING FRENESI - I LIKE - JOSE WROTE A DAMN GOOD LETTER TO CLARA... HOPE SHE ANSWERS QUICKLY... HER LETTERS ARE SO SWELL TO GET... GOOD AS TALKING WITH HER - I'M HUNGRY... GUESS I'LL EAT A PRUNE + RETIAH!
1942 Just re-read "The Girls" Should have gone to bed instead. Good, busy day. Fresco started. Drawing Class. Creative Wr. Dinner w/ Emil + Wilber
1943 11:00 SLUMPED THIS MORNING... CUT OUT + STARTED A PINK FLANNEL NIGHTGOWN THIS AFT... CLEANED UP THE HOUSE - AND ME... D.J. and I WALKED DOWNTOWN [IN BITTAH cold] TO MAIL LETTERS... I'M PROBABLY too GARRULOUS... SHE SAYS R HOW'D IS DUE FOR A FURLOUGH. READ Mlle

JANUARY 6

1939 10:55 - V, M, + I planned "futures" + ate hot dogs + rode around until nearly six after school. It seems we would all be happy if we could have enough money to start "careering" - I broke into print today. My picture is in "Mademoiselle"
1940 Saturday - 1:30 - Well I really got something done! I scrubbed the kitchen floor today... Sometimes I think I should concentrate on something simple like that
1941 (BRICK quit school) (so do I Marion. Even the moronic simplicity of school teaching is a little complicated for a brain like yours) - Well, Thank God Monday's over! - Freddie picked me up at the Pantry. I think I'll play uppy + act a little cool - (even if I do have to strain myself) - I did tonight - a little
1942 It was so darn cold out at school - hard to feel energetic about things. Good to get back, though. Read Bertrand Russell's "A Free Man's Worship." Good. Heard fr. Don Gregory - on his way East - God
1943 11:00 I WAS IN A haze ALL DAY! - WENT OUT TO SCHOOL - WROTE AN ANSWER TO THE "TIMES" ad. Leonard + I WERE FAINTLY EMBARRASSED AT BEHOLDING ONE ANOTHER... HAD A CARD FROM Peggy. WANTS ME FOR A ROOMMATE... MARGARET HAS A BABY - A boy! - I WENT TO Creative Wr... LEONARD SAW US TO THE BUS... MIGOSH I'M CRAZY about HIM.

JANUARY 5

1939 11:00  Classes started again. It was good to get back.
1940 - Not much accomplished today, I'm afraid. Spent the aft. out at school. Won't see Engravers till Mon. We went skating tonight + popped corn.
1941 1:00 It was so sweet of you to call, Frederick! - (Damn you, anyhow) - But I do know what I'm going to teach tomorrow)
1942 12:00 (Gee, I gotta get up in the morning. How'll I do it?) R.H. # + I went down to Civic Theater tryouts (Countrymen has me typed) We had hot choc. + talked -
1943 1:45 DARLING - YOU DIDN'T have TO SAY IT; I CERTAINLY DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO. BUT I'M HAPPY and EXULTANT and PROUD and GLAD you DID! I WAS "INCOHERENT", as USUAL! DO YOU THINK THERE'LL BE ENOUGH OF US - THE WAY WE ARE NOW - LEFT TO STILL WANT TO GET MARRIED AFTER THE WAR? DEAR GOD I HOPE SO... NOW IT WILL REALLY BE HARD FOR ME TO GO AND easier THOUGH; I'LL have SOMETHING TO HANG ONTO... WE WENT TO DINNER AT THE TOWN CLUB... I HAD A DAIQUIRI first AND peach BRANDY, AFTERWARDS; I TOOK L. TO THE Orpheum. WE CAME HOME. I HAD MY 1ST PROPOSAL...

JANUARY 4

1939 11:00 I quit - after one more whole day at a drawing board - I hope I never see another one - (But I will) I've even got black O's under my eyes
1940 12:50 Didn't get up till late; struggled out to school - worked till 9:00 - Bob + I went over to Eides for the Evening Its so darn cold out - 15 below!
1941 Sat Oh to be young + ambitious - as then - I can't get started. Now, its too late - 
1942 1:30 That damn book monopolized another day (I otta see Mr. F!) It is kind of a challenge. Or is that an excuse? I know I'm reading it too fast. Greedy of me, really. Hemingway. Steinbeck. Romaine.
1943 1:00 OH GAWD! - "HUNK" IS HOME ON furlough. WE WENT TO Yankee Doodle... Leonard, OF COURSE, CALLED; HE NEVER SEEMS TO GET mad, THOUGH. I IRONED + FIXED MY green CORDUROY... HAD TO BE TAKEN IN AT THE SEAMS... LIKE TO GET "MORE THINNER" BEFORE I GO. Snook CALLED AGAIN. THEY STILL WANT ME FOR Watch on the Rhine -

JANUARY 3

1939 11:15 Feel Swell. But only 1 day of grace is left - in which to accomplish an unbearable amt of things. I've got to keep going full steam until after exams!
1940 Marg + I had so much fun. - We got up late; by time I finally got ready to go up to school, it was time for lunch... Donna Jean + Bette + I went to "We Are Not Alone"
1941 1:30 Robert wanted to play bridge tonight, so we played bridge. R. Howard is a "good kid" (-Still thinks I should join the Club) All I did was record grades, go to the dentist + make brownies-
1942 1:00 Just about enough of quiet evenings home with a good book! - Although Thurber was MARVELOUS. Hope this cold jag breaks up before school starts D.J. + I went to "Babes on Broadway"
1943 AMEN! - ONLY I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A GOOD BOOK, tonight... GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO START IN TEACHING AGAIN tomorrow. BUT WISH I WERE GOING TO WORK, in a way. Leonard is CUTTING A STENCIL FOR SOME POSTERS TONIGHT. I WAS GLAD HE CALLED anyhow

JANUARY 2

1939 11:58 E is reading "I'm a Stranger Here Myself" - Today I helped Mr. E hang an exhibit Then he took me downtown to see the New Hollywood in the process! - Fun. (I mixed some of the colors for the decorations)
1940 Staying with Marg tonight. I expected to go downtown + spend some money today; but I didn't get my check until tonight. $15!
1941 1- THIS IS A SWELL WAY TO START OUT, DOPE. IF I DON'T CHANGE MY WAYS PRETTY DAMN QUICK, I AM GOING TO BE IN AN EMOTIONAL RUT - A PRETTY COMPLICATED ONE AT THAT! - I AM THE EPITOME OF PROCRASTINATION, OF WEAKNESS + STUPIDITY - DAMMIT! I WILL CHANGE! - (DID TALK W/ CLARA - DID GET A LETTER FROM FREDERICK!)
good night fathead!
1942 1:45 Hope I retain some of UNKNOWABLE - Santayana - Good - I want to read it again - Hope Leonard sees it. Finished my sweater today. That's just about all. Looks like Jo + I aren't going to get around to our collaboration.
1943 11:05 I'M QUITE GAY... I DON'T KNOW WHY! HACKED UP MY Black JERSEY; NEW PEASANTY BRAID. MET Shirley DOWNTOWN... I LIKE HER BETTER - AGAIN... [NOW, SHE'S CHANGED HER MIND ABOUT GOING OUT W/ BILL AGAIN] MIXED PAINT over AT ALL Saints. PERUSED THE Ladies H.J. QUEL EXCITEMENT!

JANUARY 1

1939 1:20 This is the beginning. So many times I've felt that I wanted to put down what I feel from day to day. And 1:30 - That was last night - Virginia stayed all night with me - we talked until 5 o'clock - it was more fun than I had expected to have! - Now I'm tired + my head is full of E. drawing
1940 - So soon! - another year... So much has happened. Perhaps what I've written the past year has been rather superficial. I shall try to fewer happenings and more experiences.
1941 - DEAR GOD ! - 
GIVE ME STRENGTH
AND COURAGE -
GOODNESS,
TRUTH -
BEAUTY-
1942 12:35 DIDN'T FEEL BLYTHE... Very WINTER - Took folks to dinner. Mother's flowers finally came (Probably selfish impulse that made me send'em - I love them so much) Stan called. We listened to records w/ Carp + Minnie. He has technique, but no finesse (No Leonard)
1943 MIGOLLY I WAS TIRED TODAY; COULD HARDLY STAY awake THROUGH dinner... SLEPT till 12:00... JOHN K. CAME OVER AND TOLD ME ABOUT NEW YEARS AT THE Town Club (I'M GLAD WE WERE WHERE WE WERE) WE WENT FOR A WALK. John SAYS R. HOW'D # HAS HAD PANGS SIMILAR TO EMIL'S... I SUPPOSE WE ALL SHALL BECOME INURED TO BEING AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER -

DECEMBER 31

1939 9:15 The last day of 1939 - It's really been a swell year - crazy jumbled - but exciting I have so much to be thankful for -
1940 12:05 - IF I'D KNOWN HOW DEMORALIZING SPENDING NEW YEARS EVE CORRECTING J.S. AUTOBIOGRAPHIES WOULD BE, BELIEVE ME I'D HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT... I PRAY TO GOD WE ARE NOT IN THIS LOUSY WAR BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR - I HOPE I AM MORE OF A PERSON THAN I AM NOW - HOPE I HAVE THE GUTS TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF.
1941 10:45 Spent the day down knitting with Jean. She has to go back - God, the guts she'll have to have -We'll all have to have. - I can let myself think no further than tomorrow - Maybe the day after. I don't think Leonard can last through another year. - I can't take it.
1942 6:00! [I DON'T THINK THEY HEARD ME GET IN, EITHER!] BUT I WAS WRONG, THANK GOODNESS; I WONDER IF NEXT YEAR WON'T FIND US A COUPLE THOUSAND MILES APART? OR TOGETHER? (I SUPPOSE THAT IS TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR...) THIS IS THE happiest NEW YEAR'S EVE I'VE ever HAD... 20 OF US (18 DIDN'T COUNT!) WENT FOR A SLEIGH RIDE... BIG FIRE OUT BY THE RIVER... BACK TO VITTURMS FOR LYING BY THE FIRE AND LATER, BREAKFAST - GRAPEFRUIT, PANCAKES, SAUSAGES, COFFEE!... WE CAME HOME IN A LOVELY WHITE MIST. 
1943

DECEMBER 30

1939 I am numb. - I ate over there twice - They were perfectly swell to me. - I hope I get to "do" the real job this summer - My mind whirls with Stars - Petty Gals + hell (They asked me to the party)
1940 No - even Bill called (as last night) to give me an excuse to put off reading those damned autobiographies. So I got started! All ready the time is dwindling pitifully away - Hope the rest of the school year tears by like hell - Dear God, I hope I'm not teaching next yr. but that I am earning some money-
1941 12- Rather desultory day (just because you didn't' see Leonard?) - Didn't get up till 11:00 - tsk - went out to school. Jo didn't show up - No story written! - Went over to D.J.'s - ate too much.
1942 12- I FEEL BETTER, muchly... TALKED WITH MOTHER ABOUT MY GOING; SHE'LL BACK ME UP IF EVEN I WANT TO GO TO NEW YORK... WE HAD BEEN OVER TO HANSONS, AND WHEN WE CAME HOME, discussed IT IN WHISPERED TONES... I TOOK MOTHER + Dad TO THE Palm Beach Story THIS AFTERNOON. MOTHER + Leonard ARE THE TWO I REALLY HATE TO LEAVE *
1943

DECEMBER 29

1939 - We got the stuff already to take down to the Engraver's + Ivr. said "next week" - got started on Fantle deal... Sort of fun. - But they are certainly messing it up! (I'll keep the pressure on!)
1940 11- VERY STUPID OF ME - AFTER TAKING ABOUT 3 HRS. TO WRITE A LETTER TO F., I LAY LISTENING TO THE RADIO - + BANG, I WAS THINKING ABOUT LEONARD. IT WAS FUTILE TO RATIONALIZE HIM OUT OF MY THOUGHTS - CRIED. FELT LIKE HELL - ALL OF WHICH MADE TODAY V. BAD... FINALLY SNAPPED OUT OF IT WENT TO SHOW W/ D.J. + SARA - FEEL OKAY - MUST WORK.
1941 1:00 (I hope Leonard wiped off that lipstick before he went back to the car!) Hung an exhibit - Jo came out. Stayed for dinner. We have a story outlined. Leonard, Bill, Harold + I talked about insight and intuition! - vicious circle.
1942 12- MY MIND IS IN A constant TURMOIL... "WHERE DO I GO FROM here?" AFTER TALKING TO DONNA I GUESS MAYBE New York... I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE THE GUTS OR NOT... I DIDN'T GET UP TILL LATE TODAY; TOOK VIRGINIA + SHIRLEY TO LUNCH AT THE Town Club... DAMN... I'D SHORE LIKE MY monee
1943

DECEMBER 28

1939 Thursday Class pictures are finished - still some to do. Went to tea over at Billingsley's - Marg says she may go to Augustana - Oh, and incidentally I won Mlle's suit des. Contest... $25 + the suit - I don't believe it. (I will when I see the suit + the money)
1940 8:00 ANOTHER DAY GONE FOR  NOUGHT - BUT IT'S FUN... (EXCEPT I'VE GOT TO GET GOING PRETTY DAMN QUICK!) MARG + I BREAKFASTED @ 11:00... MET AUGGIE GALS FOR LUNCH - NICE GIRLS - BUT LACK COLOR - SAW JO DOWNTOWN - WE CONSUMED 2 COKES A PIECE + TALKED - GUESS I'LL WR. FRED
1941 Eleanor left today. - She + Philip may be married when she comes back. - Open fireplace, wine, talk.
1942 MON I SHOULD HAVE HAD A BIGGER KICK OUT OF THE Christmas DANCE... LEONARD WORRIED I DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD TIME... I WORE MY NEW BLACK HOSE - SLIGHTLY sensational... WE - AND BILL + Eleanor AND BOB and SHIRLEY - WENT DOWN TO DICKEY'S I ATE BEAN SOUP. I FELT RATHER SHY. Leonard SAID HE DIDN'T SLEEP WELL LAST NIGHT....?
1943

DECEMBER 27

1939 Well, actually we got started pasting today. - Leonard is so swell (I was going to be mean to him for Tues.) - We had a sandwich over at the Hen. - didn't go home - Virginia came out after us. The car radio was tuned in on Duke Ellington
1940 FRIDAY 12- SLEPT TILL 1:30 - LURY TOOK A WALK OUT TO SCHOOL - SAW HOWARD + JAKE - OVER TO NESSA'S TONIGHT - MARG IS SLEEPING HERE TONIGHT. 
1941 I amaze myself continually. I called Leonard + asked him to come over about 7:00! - Over at Nessa's. We played records and danced + drank - tsk. Listened to Bolero -
1942 SUN BARBARA HAD A TOM + JERRY PARTY THIS AFTERNOON... [GEE, THEY WERE GOOD] I HELD THE MANTELPIECE UP + WAS SURROUNDED BY SOLDIERS. Leonard CALLED [AS I DESPERATELY hoped] WHEN I CAME HOME... WE WENT OVER TO his SISTERS' - TO SPITZNAGELS' AND TO JOHNS' - home [WHERE WE BOTH LANDED IN A HEAP WHEN L. LIFTED ME fr. DAVENPORT!] 
1943

DECEMBER 26

1939 Well, - I got to go to the Christmas dance (Bob asked me Christmas Eve) - It was fun. - I really love to dance with Bob - Bought a new black reefer - plain, tailored - Mary's - I like it!
1940 THURS 1:50 DAMN PAYNE ANYHOW... SPOILED IT FOR ME AGAIN THIS YEAR... FREDDIE HELPED SOME - BUT NOT 
ENOUGH... DAMN... DAMN... AND OF COURSE, HE WAS WITH BLOSSOM! ... I AM A STUPID FOOL FOR NOT GETTING BOB TO ASK THEM TO TRADE - BUT - HELL I HAVE SOME PRIDE... ELEANOR LEFT... LONESOME... TIRED... FEET HURT.
1941 Swell, really. Leonard asked for a dance, even. (I didn't even have to provide motivation!) Wore Eleanor's formal - slightly sensational. Smooth dancing w/ Leonard. He can't have any illusions about how I feel about him.
1942 SAT MET CLARA DOWNTOWN... [SHE GAVE ME A PLAID TAFFETA APRON] PROBABLY married IN APRIL OR MAY... THEN SHIRLEY Hanson + I HAD COKES + SHE DRAGGED ME HOME WITH HER FOR DINNER [WHICH WE HELPED get!] THAT HOUSE IS BEDLAM; BUT WONDERFUL - QUEL IMPULSIVE!!!! SHIRLEY WAS GOING TO THE DANCE, SO I WIPED THE DISHES AND WENT home. SARA DIDN'T PUT IN AN APPEARANCE but D.J. DID WE TALKED ENDLESSLY!
1943

DECEMBER 25

1939 We had to get up to finish wrapping packages this morning - I certainly feel like a mess - Eleanor left on the 5:30 train... It was hard to take... And I was going to be so casual + smart! I hope it isn't too long before we see her again.
1940 REALLY SWELL WITH ELEANOR HERE... REALLY MADE CHRISTMAS FOR US... WOULD HAVE BEEN GRIM WITHOUT HER. SHE IS SO WONDERFUL WITH WILMER - I STILL FEEL SORT OF EXTRA WITH THE TWO WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER... I GUESS I'LL NEVER GET OVER IT... WAS QUITE FLOORED WHEN W. KISSED ME PURELY SPONTANEOUSLY. ATE TILL I'M PRACTICALLY NAUSEATED - B. CALLED
1941 (Under the mistletoe - I blushed!) - The mystery was a toy dog from Hunk - Lovely Christmas, Eleanor + I felt awful for a while as a conseq. of not sleeping. Leonard wanted to ask me to the dance! 
1942 12:45 It was a  fine Christmas - (except it did hurt that Leonard didn't give me anything)... We had our gifts about 10:45 - and dinner about 3:00... We had Tom + Jerrys over at Virginia's - John K, Bob, Leonard + I. She is swell. I stayed later. I hope Leonard was annoyed.
1943

DECEMBER 24

1939 Sunday 2:15 It was almost a bleary Christmas Eve. - My colossal idea for quilted chintz picture frames didn't work out... (After all that precious time) Bob came over - We had intended to go to the Cathedral but went to Mrs. Peck's for "Smorgasboard" + to Episcopal Church. - Came over here with Ed + Eleanor afterward -
1940 WORKED HARD ALL DAY GETTING HOUSE + ME CLEANED UP... WAS REALLY TIRED... COULD HARDLY GET UP AM-----------
DRESSED + GO DOWN TO MEET THE TRAIN ELEANOR + I FEEL VERY ALERT NOW, THOUGH AFTER A CUPPA COFFEE - SAW BOB + LEONARD OVER AT FOSTERS... DEAR BRATS
1941 1:50 Baby's home, putting up her hair. Normal, natural. - She's quite stable about Philip. (Thank Goodness) Trimmed tree - worked. Jo came in. Cute kid. No Leonard ? ? ? Gee - Hope tomorrow is good.
1942 12:20 I HAVE NO JUST CAUSE TO FEEL SO lonely I'M IN THE MIDST OF MY HOME, YET I'M VERY ALONE... STRANGELY DEPRESSED ALL DAY. [ADMIT IT - ITS BECAUSE TONIGHT'S Christmas  - AND NO SIGN THAT MR. PAYNE EVEN KNOWS YOU!]... AND BECAUSE Eleanor IS NO LONGER AS CLOSE TO ME AS SHE WAS... 
1943

DECEMBER 23

1939 At long last - a sister, again. She didn't get in until 12:00 today, instead of 10:30 - She looked so swell to us when she got off the train... We both have simply horrible colds.
1940 MAILED SLEW OF CARDS TODAY - EVEN GOT THEM ADDRESSED + READY FOR THE MAILS... SENT ABOUT 40 PINK LAMBS DID UP PKGS. MR. SPITZNAGEL CAME OVER... HE IS OKAY JOE - 
1941 Fun today Doing up packages. Got a housecoat for Mother from Dad - Hope its ok. - Went bowling with Stan - hmm. - Wasn't he who called last night.
1942 12- I FELT LIKE I WAS FALLING off A CLIFF, AND NO ONE EVEN NOTICED IT - ALL SECURITY SEEMS ILLUSORY... Leonard WAS QUIET, but "AWARE" OF ME, I THINK... WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ASKED HIM TO GO TO church TOMORROW BUT DIDN'T
1943

DECEMBER 22

1939 12:00 And here I thought I'd be staying up all night + pasting portraits - But Eide very considerately shoved our deadline ahead - It certainly would have been tough to meet it!
1940 SPENT DAY MAKING CHRISTMAS CARDS
1941 Mon HECTIC - Didn't get away from home until noon - Finished new batch of cards + shopped. Went to Boyers with Nessa - She's a wreck
1942 TUES SPENT TODAY IN BED... MADE A RED PETTICOAT FOR Olga TONIGHT... MY HONEY CALLED... SO DID MICHAEL - She's MARVELOUS. GEE, I WISH I COULD SHAKE THIS COLD! 
1943

DECEMBER 21

1939 Thurs. - I am still dead! - Got up at six - I wouldn't have missed it... (no snow - But cold!) - mailed my cards -
1940 WAS DOWNTOWN, SAW PEEPUL, GOBS. - FUN TO SAY "HELLO" - SHOPPED ALL AFTERNOON... SAW D.J., BETTE'S, MARIE... HAD LUNCH w/ JEAN V. SHE IS TO BE MARRIED 25TH. HOPE SHE IS HAPPY. SHE DESERVES IT.
1941 11:45 - ACTUALLY STAYED HOME TONIGHT - DIDN'T DO A DAMN THING ALL DAY EXCEPT WASH MY HAIR - AND RE-LIVE LAST NIGHT -
1942 MON OH! - EM I MEESURABLE! - SUCH A COLD. I THINK I'M ALLERGIC TO THAT RUBBER cement I USED ON MY Christmas Cards. Took me ALL day to finish them + address them. Shirley HANSON came over for a while...
1943

DECEMBER 20

1939 Wed 8:00 Stayed out at the Dorm with Marie - I am dead - B. Ball Game -
1940 (IN RETROSPECT) - OH, EXQUISITE RELIEF... WINDOW LOOKED SWELL... WISH THEY'D REALIZE I CAN DO SOMETHING. CERTAINLY GLAD TO GET OUT OF 7TH PERIOD ENG! -
1941 JUST ABOUT PERFECT [EXCEPT WE DIDN'T GET TO REALLY TALK] I WON'T EVEN HAVE TO DREAM TONIGHT * HE SEEMS TO THINK HE ISN'T ALL I BELIEVE HIM TO BE - BUT GEE HE CAN'T DISILLUSION ME BY REMOTE CONTROL! I S'POSE I SHOULD BE MORE CAGEY + FEMININE BUT CAN'T - WITH LEONARD -
1942 SUN. DARLING - SORT OF AN "ANNIVERSARY" ... AND A LOVELY PRESENT - TO HEAR YOU SAY 'I LOVE YOU' - YOU HAD EVEN WANTED TO GO TO church WITH ME THIS MORNING - TO THE cathedral... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH - NOT VIOLENTLY, LIKE LAST NIGHT, BUT JUST QUIETLY and SURELY [JOHN + HE CAME OVER TONIGHT AND WE MADE + addressed CHRISTMAS CARDS]
1943

DECEMBER 19

1939 11:00 Well. - I worked all day on my Vogue Quizz. It looked lousy - I hope next time I'll take more than one day! Seely sent me a Christmas Card
1940 12:30 Tomorrow I'll be home, Thank God. Freddie gave me a box of Etons - stationary, "Nice", but I was a little disappointed... I cleaned up Art Room - Think I'll almost want to torch them after vac. Fred's worried about us I guess. He is sweet - 
1941 1:30 VIRGINIA + I WENT TO "THE WOMEN" - GLAD I WASN'T IN IT - I'M NOT SAVORING THE PROSPECT OF A VACATION - REALLY AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET SOMETHING ACCOMPLISHED!
1942 SAT MIGOSH, I WONDER WHAT THEY PUT IN THAT PUNCH?!!! ...I WAS UP FROM 4:00 - ON THIS MORNING - MAYBE IT WAS COMBINATION of STRAIN + EXCITEMENT - BUT boy, WAS I SICK. PAUL CAME OVER TONIGHT. HIS FRANCAIS EST PARFAIT... HE STAYED TO SAY GOOD-BYE - WE HAD ICE-CREAM - I'M thin - NO WONDER!
1943

DECEMBER 18

1939 11:00 Society Party Dinner I guess maybe I shouldn't have asked Hunk - I'm rather upset - in a way I'd like to date him + "..." I wouldn't dare!
1940 12 - Only 2 more days! - Freddie called tonight. - I should have worked but didn't, of course. I don't think I'll ever marry him. We get along well, but something is missing. -
1941 12:45 - I WAS NO GOOD TODAY - BETTER IMPROVE BY TOMORROW! - LEONARD IS GOING TO WRK DOWN AT MORELLI'S FOR A WEEK. SUPPOSE I WON'T SEE HIM UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN, DAMMIT. - PARTY OVER AT COLLINGS - I SEEM TO FIT IN - !!!!
1942 FRI (QUITE A CHANGE!)... I SUPPOSEDLY "chaperoned" THE DEMO-ATHENIAN PARTY... ONLY FROEMKES CAME TOO... IN SPITE OF THE FACT, WE DANCED!!! [I WAS GLAD I DIDN'T WEAR A FORMAL!] I WAS SO HAPPY TO BE WITH Leonard ALONE HERE AT HOME, AFTERWARDS - CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS - MAGIC. I HAVEN'T BEEN "SENT" LIKE THAT FOR QUITE A WHILE.
1943

DECEMBER 17

1939 Sunday - Didn't do my Vogue quizz - went to Chair Concert - it was beautiful! - Went over to Helen's! Shirley was over - Shirley seems changed!
1940 1:00 Only 3 days! - Wonderful news that there is a definite possibility Eleanor may be able to come home. Dear God, I hope she may!
1941 1:00 Excitement of last night wore off about 2:00 - leaving me very tired. - Finish cards or nursery sketches - Must accomplish tomorrow. Wilber read a swell story in Creative Wr.
1942 THURS I GAVE THE Saroyan DEAL AGAIN, OUT AT SCHOOL... AND SURPRISINGLY WELL... D.J. + SHIRLEY + I WENT DOWN TO THE HEN - A LITTLE unsatisfactory...D.J MISSES Larry TERRIBLY. CHAPEL THIS MORNING AT ALL SAINTS... BEAUTIFUL. I GOT MY CHECK - BEAUTIFUL...
1943

DECEMBER 16

1939 Sat Made about 60 Christmas cards today - That's all - Rosalind is over here. - It seems good to sleep w someone. 
1940 11:00 4 more days! - Gee I can hardly wait! - I think I will go to Chicago. What's a few lousy dollars to me? Hope I can get a reservation on the "Hiawatha" - Hope I can make the dance, too. Am looking forward to it so much. Very little accomplished. 
1941 8:00 ONE of the most stimulating, exciting days I've had for ages! - Had lunch with part of cast of There Shall Be no Night - Sat by Montgomery Clift - Sooper. - Leonard (missed another?) Philo-Web Dinner - The THE PLAY - God, Beautiful.
1942 WED FORMAL DINNER... QUITE AWFUL... DIDN'T STAY FOR THE TREE... I KNEW Paul WAS WAITING... WE MADE POPCORN + TALKED. HE SEEMS VERA NICE... MRS. DONALDSON FASCINATES ME. REMIND ME TO WEAR Red FORMALS WHEN I'M 50!
1943

DECEMBER 15

1939 Friday - Another day, another game - Donna Jean + I really want to do one night up right!
1940 11:30 I SHOULDA STAYED AT HOME INSTEAD OF GOING OUT WITH FREDDIE - BUT WHAT COULD I DO? - I'M ASKING? - GEE, DIDN'T GET A DAMN THING DONE TODAY - JUST HOW I EXPECT TO GET IT ALL DONE BY CHRISTMAS VAC'S MORE THAN I CAN SAY -
1941 11:00 THIS IS GOING TO BE A BUSY WEEK - BOMBINGS... FELLAS MET UP AT SCHOOL... GEE, AUGGIE WILL BE HARDLY MORE THAN A GIRLS SCHOOL! PRESIDENT SPOKE AGAIN - MADE A FAIRLY SUCCESSFUL ETCHING MADE 50 - WANT TO GET THEM DONE TOMORROW - MR. PA WANTS ONLY 4 OR 5 ANIMALS FOR NURSERY
1942 11:00 FELT AWFUL - too MUCH SLEEP, I GUESS. BORING DAY... HEMMED CURTAINS... MADE GOBS OF ANGELS... WOOF... PAUL CALLED TONIGHT. - STAYED DOWN TOWN SO LATE HAD TO TAKE A TAXI TO All Saints AGAIN.
1943

DECEMBER 14

1939 Thurs. - Picampus made its debut today - snazzy lookin! - Everything's swell, but Carp got a nasty letter from John G. - about delinquencies which may mean expulsion! - We had supper over at Vencoe's + went to the game. 
1940 3:15 Well, Frederick has practically committed himself... I was really surprised he'd go so far... I doubt that he is anything but sincere, and it's a little confusing - First I want him, then don't - He was so damn sweet; I think it would be fun being married to him, but yet there are so many things that would prevent my even considering something like that - I'm damn sleepy!
1941 11:55 SUNDAY - SLEPT LATE - CLEANED MY ROOM, WASHED CLOTHES... MOTHER + I WENT TO CHRISTMAS VESPERS... LEONARD CAME + SAT BY ME... FIREWORKS - IF THEY WERE HALF AS VIOLENT FOR HIM AS FOR ME, HE CAN'T HOLD OUT VERY MUCH LONGER... WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME, A THOUSAND PEOPLE DISINTEGRATE AND THERE IS NO ONE AT ALL EXCEPT WE TWO-
1942 10:30 FIRST BLACKOUT FOR SIOUX FALLS... 10-10:20... READ A CHAPTER IN Modern Art... WAS IN A COMA THE REST OF THE EVENING - ON THE DAVENPORT... I HAVE NO CAUSE TO BE SO TIRED. GOT JR. HI. MAKING ANGELS THIS evening...KIDS HAD A Blackout Party AT SCHOOL. BUT I DIDN'T go.
1943

DECEMBER 13

1939 Wed. - Just mark another one up as wasted, babe - You're certainly living in a fool's paradise - You think that someone or something is going to do everything for you - It would have to be a miracle - who shall I ask?
1940 12:00 Friday the 13 - And, for the most part, lived up to its reputation... But I am still Hepburn inspired. I'm going to accomplish a hellava lot - tomorrow. - Freddie + I went to collitch game. Nice "friendly" evening. Funny part of it is - I enjoyed it. You don't have to be "excited" to have a pleasant evening I guess... I really hope I can have more of the same thing!
1941 12:00 WHY IS IT I GET SO VIOLENTLY IMPERSONAL WHEN I'M SCARED? - IT ISN'T LOGICAL - HELPED MASK OFF MAP THIS AFT + BOB LEFT EARLY THERE WE WERE ALONE AGAIN... LEONARD TRIED 3 TIMES TO BREAK THROUGH - IT WAS MY FAULT FOR NOT RESPONDING - MAYBE I WAS AFRAID OF THE CONSEQUENCES... MARG WAS HERE.
1942 SUN MR. SPITZNAGEL HAD A lovely PARTY FOR A Roumanian ARCHITECT AND HER HUSBAND. I HOPE I DIDN'T REGISTER TOO MUCH SURPRISE WHEN I SAW LEONARD (I DIDN'T KNOW MR. S ASKED HIM! - PROBABLY SAW US AT THE GAME TOGETHER LAST NIGHT!) WE HAD SHERRY and MARVELOUS FOOD. L + I WENT DOWN TO THE GRILL + DANCED. WENT TO A MOVIE. 
1943

DECEMBER 12

1939 Tore around in general, accomplishing nothing particular - it scares me when I think how much I must have done by Christmas! I wish I'd do something about it. (Went to C. theater play tonight) I'd like to be in one of them too.
1940 Friday and Hepburn... made me rember I was once a gal of vitality + enthusiasm, too! - And I intend to be one again... She was wonderful... Made me realize how stuffy + dull and stupid I have been... I must quit existing and start living! -
1941 FRIDAY - B. Ball game w/ G. Adolphus - Gee, and we lost in an overtime! - painted on my tempera panel - went to music class - Christmas Cards!
1942 SAT (WE BOTH HAD COLDS - WHICH MADE IT okay -) STAYED IN ALL DAY SO I COULD GO OUT TONIGHT - WE WENT TO THE B. BALL GAME - AND SAT IN FRONT OF REV. Glenn! -
...PRACTICALLY FROZE ON THE WAY DOWN - AND WAITING FOR THE BUS. Leonard FIGURES MAYBE HE MISSED OUT SOMEPLACE...
1943

DECEMBER 11

1939 Monday - Who should sneak up behind me today but Seely - I was talking to Leonard. Bob had warned me Ray was up at school, but I was still flabbergasted - He was at the game tonight, too. - And I don't think it would have taken much to get him to take me home - but I don't know
1940 10:30 Ye Gods! - here we go agin... I was going to stay home - never going to see Chuck again! - He picked me up after dinner - we argued for 2 hours and a half. He doesn't know it, but I won - ha. - Well, what if I did kiss him goodbye?
1941 THURS Mother + I stayed home tonight. I sewed some more on my white blouse. - Wish it were done. Didn't call Jean. She said L. was over.
1942 FRI WAS OUT with Paul... HE HAS BEEN TO Europe 3 TIMES... HIS MOTHER IS FRENCH - HE IS A NICE KID - VERA YOUNG... BUT IN LINE FOR A COMMISSION... WE SAW A MOVIE [I HAD WANTED to STAY HOME WITH THE RADIO...] ...IT WAS AWF'LY COLD AND I'M HALF ill. [Leonard CALLED!]
1943

DECEMBER 10

1939 Sunday - Again I am in the dog-house for staying out late! I don't say its unwarranted; but you'd think they'd realize I'm 21 ! ! ! Donna Jean + Bette + I went to "Everyman" at school -
1940 12:30 Mrs. R. says Robert will be home Sunday. Don't know quite what to expect. Saw Freddie on the street - waved gaily, spoke to him... It was a struggle to get through today. - Someday I'm going to sing Jack Koerner!
1941 Wed. Went to Ibsen's Doll House with D.J. + Sari - Bob's brother did a swell job. Axis has declared war on us + vice-versa.
1942 THURS - FELT QUITE awful - physically - OVER TO STERNS' TONIGHT. BARBARA IS CERTAINLY BEAUTIFUL... WE REALLY TALKED - intelligently, I THINK... WENT D. TOWN sans HAT - MAYBE THAT'S WHY MY NECK'S SO STIFF.
1943

DECEMBER 9

1939 Sat - 12:00 Just to finish out the week right - Went to a movie w. Sara --- I can't wait to see Eleanor - I wonder if she has changed -
1940 3:00 Well, I hope you're satisfied, now! God, why do I do these things? Absolutely I'll never go out with Chuck again! - Of all the cheap little fools - why do I for one minute think I can bear to live with myself + act like this? - Thank God, I do feel conscience-stricken!
1941 Tues. Stayed home + sewed - felt terrible all day until tonight - There were blackouts in Calif. - Air Raid warning in New York City. 
1942 WED. gobble, gobble, gobble. - I'm glad I'm not one of those young matrons for whom I gave a report on William Saroyan. The other soldier called tonight... Some guy. I went out to school about 3:15 and worked till 5:00... John + Shirley + I had coffee...
1943

DECEMBER 8

1939 1:55 It was fun, but my, its late - And I was going to get home early! - After Bob + I went to the basket-ball game, we went up to Lee's studio + played modern music - Lee made tea + I did the dishes - 
1940 I am crushed, absolutely. (It's smart to be flippant isn't it?) - Hell, Frederick did not call. And after all he said last night about how much he liked me. - more every time we went out - How much he missed me - Phooey! - He muttered something strange just before he kissed me good night for about the 8th time. But I can't quite remember what it was!
1941 10:30 Have I got a cold! - Ground colors in technique class - listened to War News. (West Coast vulnerable) 3000 killed + injured in yesterday's air raids!
1942 2:15 - I'M GLAD I WASN'T BITTER OR REPROACHFUL, HOW COULD I BE WHEN HE WAS SO TRULY PENITENT? ... I HAD TO TURN HIM DOWN FOR WED, THURS, + FRIDAY! (I HOPE HE FELT ME NOD MY HEAD FOR SAT.) HE SAID IT KILLED HIM TO SEE THE CORNERS OF MY MOUTH TURN DOWN... HE SAID HE HAD NO EXCUSES - JUST THAT SOMETIMES HE had TO BE ALONE... HE HAD CALLED FRIDAY... HIS INTEREST HASN'T LAGGED, I DON'T think
1943

DECEMBER 7

1939 11:45 - That estimate was screwy. Real one is around $900 - So is our printing bill - Felt swell - but tired all day - Drew Gowns for Chilson - Went over to Don's tonight. 
1940 1:35 Am I a hypocrite? ...Or maybe a fool? - Wish I knew. (probably a combination. Right now, I think F. is quite sincere... I am sure, however, that Freddie is not pour moi. (I could do worse!) - ...Shopped all day in Sioux City (majority of gifts bought) And tonight we pulled taffy over at F's... played Gin Rummy nice, quiet.
1941 11:30 SEEMED VAGUELY UNREAL, UNTIL THE NEWSBOYS STARTED SHOUTING EXTRAS. - JAPAN HAS BOMBED HAWAII - DECLARED WAR THIS WILL BE LONG + HARD + WE'LL BE FIGHTING IN GERMANY BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH! - I PRAY CIVILIZATION DOESN'T ENTIRELY DISINTEGRATE
1942 10:50 THE CLIMAX TO ABOUT A WEEK OF BEWILDERMENT AND FRUSTRATION! Leonard SENT 3 RED ROSES AND CALLED twice - BUT OF COURSE I WASN'T HOME. NATURALLY, I WAITED all EVENING FOR HIM TO PHONE - AND HE DIDN'T! - I FEEL completely BITCHY... I HAVE A LOVELY cold sore... I WAS OFFERED THE LEAD IN "WATCH ON THE RHINE" OUT AT COLLEGE... "PAUL H." CALLED for FRI. 
1943

DECEMBER 6

--------1:30
----------ll is swell - (After what he
------------go through in initiation) - 
---------ed -
 Got first rough estimate in
 Engraving - About 1,000 to much!
--940 Nothing seems to quite penetrate the haze...Went to a 
 B.B. game in Vermillion - Blanche, Fred + S... I had 
 looked forward to it all week... Long ride down - and
 back! Saw lot of Auggies at U. - Press came. - wish I 
 could have been with them! The Edda was up for state
 rating - Hope it comes out okay.
-----2:30 STAYED with Chils and Marie - We saw "Sky-
 lark"... They are both dead. - I cleaned out room office
 drawers - Spasmodically listened to Wagner
-----SUN 1:30 - VIRGINIA + I WALKED HOME IN THE
 Bitter COLD.... WE SAW "YOU WERE NEVER
 LOVELIER" AND HAD FUN IN THE Chocolate Shop
 AFTERWARD TALKING TO 3 SOLDIERS... ONE
 USED TO BE A DRUMMER W/ Jan Savitt... ALL
 afternoon DECORATING Studio... PARTY WAS A 
 SUCCESS I GUESS. I DIDN'T THINK I SHOULD STAY
 - TOO popular!
 1943