FEBRUARY 27

1939 11:30 This morning Mother left with Dad She will be gone a week. I'll miss her a lot... I cleaned up the house and walked out for my class... Went home with Virginia for lunch. Marvelous baked beans - Went to play pr. twice (Still don't know my lines) to a show. - Heard Agnes Hyde review W.W. Rain tonight + I'm now reading R + J
1940 12:00 Tuesday My suit came today It was really a thrill... (It feels lovely) I meant to go to bed early but I seem out of the habit - Bob, Leonard + I worked tonight.
1941 (It's "better" this year, than it was last...) Well - I'm rarin' to go home tomorrow - I haven't got things ready - I intend to stay up tonight and finish those damn short stories if it kills me! - Bridge Club tonight - food - ugh. Everything I "considered" giving up for Lent has been tasted - Larry + Miriam tried to work on my
1942 Friday Okay, you go home at 11:00 - see if I care (you did trip on the last step, though - ha!) - We went to H.S. Flyin' High Mother had club today. Really rustled around. Bought jonquils. Sweet.
1943 SAT I WAS IN SOME SEMI-PRIVATE WORLD OF MY OWN ALL DAY... NOTHING SEEMS TO touch ME; SOMEHOW... DID MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON THE MR. R. AT SCHOLASTIC, THOUGH. Mr. Steiner CALLED AND SAID HE HAS SOMETHING ELSE LINED UP FOR MY "ABILITY" - WE HAD DINNER AT Madame BONAT'S, I ATE too much, THOUGH... LISTENED TO BIANCA.

FEBRUARY 26

1939 11:20 Somehow, I think I will last through this vague agonizing vacuum of disappointments + responsibilities... I am still glad I am who I am... I still am stupidly optimistic enough to think that I will accomplish 95% of the things that are beginning to bear down... When I am too weak to think that, there's always the coward's way out -
1940 Monday - It would be so swell to have "cartoon" for the Edda - I hope it works out - Went out to school - aw nothing...
1941 11:00 (Rumbahs are certainly go - I can hear all I want of them now - one on now) - Whadaya know? - Actually utilized about every minute today. Gave tests. - Corrected until 6:00... Then from 7:30 until 10:30... Got PAID today - 3 more paychecks - (Then what?) - Lorraine + Alberta helped me they are sweet - 
1942 Thurs Well Eleanor + Philip have been transferred to ADVANCE Missouri. Mother feels terrible - But then maybe they will have to really depend on each other now.
1943 FRI I HAVE an interview tomorrow morning with the PUBLISHER OF SCHOLASTIC. AH DILEMMA... MISS Sacks KEPT MY POEMS (CLARAS) and kodachromes. I HOPE SOMETHING COMES OF IT! SAW Vogue + Glamour - WENT I. MILLER (WHERE I SAW SOME SHOES) MICKY and I SAW G.B. Shaw's MAJOR BARBARA

FEBRUARY 25

1939 12:45 I think I'm out of it now... for a while this day was just pure hell... I can't remember when I've been in such a suicidal mood... I woke up crying - (I kept it up spasmodically)... Sometimes Eleanor hurts me terribly... more so than she means, I'm sure... Tonight I sketched at the school Carnival. Nessa + I "caught up" with each other since
1940 1:15 Howard took me to epoch-al "G.W.T. Wind" - I completely lost myself in it... Marie + I tied for "typical" - She + Wyman will be it. I'll have a hard time keeping it quiet. Wish I could be a combination of Scarlett + Melanie
1941 Dammit - didn't get to go over to Haywarden. However, I was quite content to stay home + knit + talk with Mrs. Reeves - She still hears nothing from Robt. Hope he is okay.
1942 Wed It was Shirley Morgan's Birthday. I went down + bought a cake at Nash. Made coffee in the kitchenette. It was successful. Bill + Leonard helped me w/ the dishes.
1943 THURS (I HOPE MY CARD GOT THERE IN TIME!) WELL I PAID $10 ON AN EIGHTY-SEVEN $ COAT... WOW I'LL HAVE TO GET A JOB now... I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S A GOOD INVESTMENT... INTERVIEWED Mr. Stowell OVER AT ARCH. RECORD, WHO MAY GIVE ME AN in AT Glammer AND VOGUE... I FORGOT TO GET ME RATION-BOOK OF COURSE! - HOPE I CAN STILL MAKE IT. OI, NO MAIL (or male) TODAY. WASHED ME HAIR. TALKED RUSSIAN w/ LIZA

FEBRUARY 24

1939 12:15 I hate to walk home alone at 12 o'clock at night. I was plenty frightened when a sneaky looking coupe cut across the boulevard I hid in a driveway until I thought it had gone... I stayed home from school + read Shakespeare. 
1940 2:30 It's a vicious circle - I can't work during the day on accounta all the interruptions and at night, Howard heckles.
1941 A HELLUVA DAY, if I do say so... But did get a swell letter + etching from Bob - He seems very much adjusted, now. Thank Goodness... GEE, the futility of time - or something. I still believe in TODAY, but still can't speed up my activities to live up to my concept!
1942 Tues - Italian Renaissance in History of Art - What a headache
1943 WED I APPLIED AT RAYMOND LOEWY'S STUDIOS; THERE IS A possibility OF MY DOING SOME MURAL DECORATIONS FOR THEM! (IF I ONLY COULD!) ...MET Elizabeth FRAZER ON FIFTH AVENUE, FUN. LEONARD WRITES HE REPORTS FOR INDUCTION ON MARCH 6TH... WHICH HIT ME HARD, EMIL'S COMING TURNED OUT WELL, HE SAYS... I'M SO DARN GLAD... HAD FURTHER APT. with SCHOLASTIC, WHICH WOULD PAY $40 A WEEK! - Yipes! - WHICH IS darn good

FEBRUARY 23

1939 1:30 Today I applied for my "Social Security" number! - I sold 15 hats + got very tired of standing on my feet. I am thankful today is over! 
1940 10:45 It was foolish of me to be so upset all day... I was afraid to go over to the studio for fear of having to face Howard - Very Silly - 
1941 1:00 Here we go again, boys... Frederic + I saw Philadelphia Story (tres bon) most of the evening I was shy + self conscious + felt I was putting on an act all of the time - But not now, I don't think... ? ? ? 
1942 Mon We're doing etchings in techniques -
1943 TUES YIPES! WOULD I love TO HAVE THAT JOB UP AT THE NEW YORK TIMES, ASSISTANT TO Mr. Krikorian! HE WAS beautiful TO ME; SCHOLASTIC PRESS IS BECKONING. EASTMAN SOUNDS VERY CUT and DRIED, I'M AFRAID... J. WALTER THOMPSON IS OUT, I GUESS - SEEMED TO THINK I'D BE STIFLED... HAD 5 INTERVIEWS TODAY. SAW THE LADY Vanishes + NIGHTTRAIN

FEBRUARY 22

1939 9:45 I'm a little scared, I guess... tomorrow I "try-out" selling hats... first "real" job... I was restless + tired all day... that must have been quite a spill I took... I still feel sort of shaken
1940 4:45 It was rather inevitable, I suppose... In a way, I wish it hadn't happened + " " I'm glad it has... And I though Howard was so unemotional. It does complicate things.
1941 11:45 the happy (?) celibate I... (How do you pronounce that?) Made out test at least. Mrs. Reeves baked buns + cookies... We had "tea" about 4:00 - I typed at school, heard Wagner - wept a little weep. Leonard - Hell.
1942 Sun 12:45 - Donna + I saw the Man Who Came to Dinner even that couldn't take my mind off last night... I wonder if he thought about me...
1943 MON PEGGY + I HAD breakfast IN BED THIS MORNING; QUEL LUXURY!... ELEANOR writes I CAN HAVE A BUYER- DECORATOR job AT Donahue's... Gee, IF THAT HAD ONLY BROKEN BEFORE! I'M UP ON THE ROOF BASKING IN THE SUNLIGHT, HAVING washed MY CLOTHES + AM GOING TO GET CAUGHT UP IN GENERAL... LATER: ALL I DID WAS WRITE Leonard (I HOPE I DIDN'T SAY TOO MUCH) THIS AFT... PEGGY CAME HOME ABOUT 5:00... WE ATE + I IRONED and WROTE LETTERS TONIGHT... PEG CUTTING HER calories

FEBRUARY 21

1939 11:15 I'm just beginning to feel normal again tired + woozy all day... fell down after chapel + feel pretty stiff + bruised... It is icy as glass + cold as heck. I didn't accomplish a thing all day... Kept thinking about Tommy + last night I certainly was a dead beat... Maybe it was all that high powered competition that scared me out.
1940 1:30 - Ugh - I'm booshed - Helped Howard run stuff today - Marvelous Game I didn't even go home for dinner... Bob + I went to the Dance. Bill + L brought me home
1941 According to my horoscope beginning tomorrow new romance comes into my life! - I hope so. This celibacy is getting boring. Not that I haven't enough to do... but the urge to "get away from it all" is strong... Letter from Jo.
1942 Sat 2:45 I can hardly write about this... Seeing + talking with Leonard last week was a satisfaction. But tonight - although we didn't talk at all was certainly more satisfactory. But it makes it even harder now. I can hardly bear being away from him at all. 
(Cleaned up room, etc.)
1943 SUN I FELT unhappy THIS MORNING, STILL... BETTER, AFTER A SHOWER AND SCRAMBLED eggs AT THE DRUGSTORE. JARV and I TOOK A WALK UP RIVERSIDE AND LOOKED AT THE "PRAIRIE STATE" ... IT WAS A GORGEOUS SPRING DAY! THEN WE WALKED DOWN BROADWAY, EATING APPLES; I THINK IT WAS ABOUT THE BEST TIME I'VE HAD WITH HIM - WHICH HE cannot UNDERSTAND (...BOB + PEGGY + I HAD DINNER AT A FUNNY LITTLE PLACE NOT FAR FROM Columbia - THEN TOOK R. HOW'D TO THE TRAIN; PEGGY WAS STURDY.