APRIL 2

1939 11:00 tsk tsk - smoking in bed! But it is fun. Eleanor + Ed are downstairs. It seems funny to have us both dating. Ray + I went to the show this aft. what a swell fellow he is! - I guess I'm getting pretty sloppy - I even like to hold hands in the movies! Saw Nessa

1940 Tuesday - I couldn't do a thing today... I don't know if it was appalling amt of work or the fact that my cold was bothering badly, at any rate, I quit + came home... Took a bath went to bed... I asked Howard for Wed. night... Wyman for Saturday + he was floored... so was I when he said he was going to be in Lennox.

1941 11:15 FEEL - AS KITTY FOYLE SO APTLY PUTS IT - A TRIFLE BITCHY... [REMIND ME NOT TO ADOPT THAT PHRASE] - BUT I DID WRITE SOME LETTERS... SUFFERED FROM A RELAPSE ALL DAY... MY ELBOW HURTS LIKE HELL EVERY TIME IT TOUCHES ANYTHING. I CAN SPEND $45 next wk.

1942 Finished BUDDENBROOKS - depressingly vivid Real - Gee, that Mann can write! I was mad at Leonard... Bob Haakinson came over + we had a perfectly swell walk all over - eating popcorn - went over to D.J's Moon

1943 FRI MRS. DAHL + MRS. STOTE ACTUALLY raised THEIR VOICES AT ONE ANOTHER THIS MORNING. I WAS ACUTELY UNCOMFORTABLE. HAD LUNCH WITH 2 VERY IMPORTANT, VERY dull MEN - MRS. S INSISTED I GO + I Really DIDN'T WANT TO! WE WORKED UNTIL LATE... I MET Herman AT 6:30, WE HAD DINNER AND WENT TO THE EXQUISITE PETROUSHKA, PAS EN QUATRE, ETC. Ballet Russe

APRIL 1

1939 11:30 - Got home about 8:15, I suppose I could have had a "Reverse Date", but don't think I would have been up to it! Slept till 10:30 this morning. Went down to the coffee shop for breakfast - then out to the college - June + Clara won the women's debates 6-0. We ate dinner at the Harbor - I wore my b-green suit. Came home at 2:30 - I'm glad

1940 ha, the more I think about it, the surer I am Bill was lying in his teeth... Oh well. - Donna + I took B + Leonard to a Philo reverse date party tonight... I had quite fun. Leonard was on good behavior. I hope we can have a picnic with those kids some time. 

1941 Long sigh of relief! - The plays are not only over; but were definitely a success. The sets were good. The kids really made me feel proud of them. All's Fair + He Ain't Done Right by Nell will always stick with me - We sailed right through!  - And this too shall pass away

1942 Wed Gee, I was mad. Wilbur came to the door with me instead of Leonard! - Sometimes I swear he has no sense... It would have been more fun dancing out at Billy's if those kids hadn't a test tomorrow.

1943 11:15 I WISH I COULD GET OVER THIS tenseness. THROWS ME OFF ALL THE WAY AROUND; I INTERVIEWED MISS Fisher AT GIMBELS' - Mr. NICOLAS at LORD + TAYLOR BOTH SWELL TO ME... MET HERMAN FOR lunch AT THE CROSSROADS - NICE. DINNER DATE tomorrow... BALLET. WAITED FOR A HALF HR. FOR Peg - WE ATE AT THE Olde Gardens. WOULD HAVE BEEN FUN IF WE HADN'T HAD TO hurry

I was in HERALD TRIBUNE

MARCH 31

1939 I placed 4th - Not bad, not good either... This sort of thing is not for me, I fear. too much strain. Banquet + 6 of us went to the show. On the way out to school, I rode on Wyman's lap, on the way back he sat on mine! 

1940 Sun. Well I'm going to fill in the past several days in retrospect... I've done a lot of living since I last wrote in there... This is Morning + I have a helluva cold - 1st all winter + this is Spring! - Later: Well I don't know whether to blame it on the cold or Bill; but I certainly accomplished nothing today.

MOST MEN ARE RATS!

1941 It's a nice day today, etc. - etc. It's a nice day tomorrow? - Gee, I'll be relieved when it's over - Ngha... Saw Helen Jordon tonight. Beauooootiful - Found card from Mr. Spitznagel when I got back. Damn him why couldn't he have come tomorrow?

1942 Tues Mid Semester grades... harder on me than anyone else - Leonard's in a mess with Mather over his "Preface" - Gee I feel awful about it. Had Rhoda Meyer + Chils over for dinner. -

1943 WED 10:30 - I'M COMPLETELY TIRED. TODAY WAS A VERITABLE Baptism of Fire... GEE, WHAT A MESS. AND IN MY tired CONDITION... MRS. DAHL IS A FIEND TO WORK FOR; BUT SHE'S BEEN SWELL TO ME. WE ATE at THE DRUG STORE - ATE dessert (APPLES, Chocolate COOKIES) AT HOME WROTE TO Leonard! TOOK my Bawth

MARCH 30

1939 Thursday tomorrow at 10:00 in the fatal hour... I pray that I can do credit to myself... Joe + I got here about 6:00... Pretty hectic traveling, but fun! - Clara + Bernice Ruth + Scott over out - I wanted to stay home + compose myself... Clara feels terrible about not placing... I'm glad I'm not in ex temp or debate... Joe + I heard Wyman he was swell... We ate at an awfully nice place... The kids are certainly all very swell... Ray kissed me good-bye at the depot

1940 Sat 2:00 I swear I can't tell whether Bill means what he says... Regardless of the cause - it was rather a thing to hear a fella say "I love you" - I'm sure he is spoiled, egotistical, selfish - But he certainly has me confused... I can't understand it... Leonard sent me some hose + a rose "because two went down + only our rose" ! - Egad what a mess

1941 It was really perfect out today - Would have been nice to be out - romancing on a balmy night like this - But instead I worked down at school + came home, took a bath + made lists of stuff to do... I'm hungry

1942 Mon Damn, I would like to have had that part in Sky-Lark! - But maybe it's better I didn't... (I'm bitchy enough as it is) We printed etchings furiously all day - Cut Hookman's hair -

1943 TUES 1:00 Jarv has been swell to me. I will miss him. Even if Leonard hadn't happened to me, though, I don't think I could ever marry him, so he mentioned. The dance was fine; wore my white jersey, gardenias + no stockings. And was kissed in a taxi.

MARCH 29

1939 12:00 Tomorrow at 10 we (Joe + I) take the bus to Aberdeen - The rest are driving up. My oration went better tonight. Ray brought me home. He said he'd call Sunday. (I have my date to J.S. - It seems so odd)

1940 Fri - Bill called again... date tomorrow night... I'm probably asking for trouble - Bob, Leonard + I worked tonight - Leonard + I saw the Northern lights out at school - Donna + I asked them for Monday Night - I asked Leonard! Made a speech in Student Body.

1941 Sat 12 - Blue circles I am getting under the eyes - My youth is fast departing... Why I should waste it teaching school, I can't imagine! - Rehearsals + stage sets all day - Both of the plays look foul!

1942 Sun Darling, I'm sorry I was such a dead head tonight... Not even you could jar me out of what I was in... I couldn't even have told you what was the matter when you asked me - 

1943 Mon... It's getting so that the men in the flower markets greet me in the mornings... that's fun... I'm always earliest in our little office. Bored when I don't have enough to do. A mfg. thought Mrs. Stotes + I were Mother + Daughter.

MARCH 28

1939 10:45 Gave my oration for Hugo tonight. I'd be okay if I only knew it. Ray came out after me... I certainly get along perfectly well with him.

1940 Thurs. The Edda is in a horrible mess... Kenny has sold exactly 1/2 enough ads - I wish I knew what to do!... Made a lot of posters... Rained to beat anything this aft... Got caught in it... Ushered at C. Music deal tonight -

1941 11- Wish it was a wk from today - I feel awful. - Fell off the sets (a folding chair) nearly amputated an arm - ha... ha - ha (I'm going to have a PRACTICE TEACHER! - ------ Oh yes, Fred was married today - I barely remember him.

1942 SAT 1:20 READING Buddenbrooks is entertaining, but not what I'd consider a no. 1  8 at Eve! I wonder if Leonard was writing or if someone had him out R. Date... Well, filled classes this aft. - Summer School Schedule figgered out. -

1943 SUN Was quiet, letter writing + lonesome to be home this Sunday... But Stan McCormick called about 6:00. Took Peg + me to dinner... He's certainly not changed; (nor smoother) Then Peg + I went to the West End Bar to meet Jarv + his brother.

MARCH 27

1939 1:45 Intermittently concentrated (?) + dozed. I've got to get this learned I wriggled out of the Philo Fashion Show for Wednesday + out of the Plays Tues.

Ray came after me this morning we went to chapel together

1940 Wed got up about 8:30 intending to go to school. - ate breakfast, took a bath, went back to bed! - It was worth it, I felt swell! Bill had to go without his date tonight... I went with the gals, instead... I wonder how he liked that... It was really quite grim.

1941 THURS - DAY STARTED OUT HELLISH, BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED; I FELT QUITE DECENT ALL DAY AFTERNOON WE PAINTED FLATS TONIGHT WISH THIS JUNK WERE OVER ! ! ! 

1942

1943 SAT. 1:00 PEGGY + I WROTE TO BOB WHO'S JUST COME IN FROM maneuvers IN THE ATLANTIC... HOPE HE CAN COME HERE AGAIN BEFORE HE GOES... HAD rather GOOD MORNING... MET PEGGY FOR LUNCH; DISSIPATED THE AFT. FELT rather SAD FOR A WHILE. LEONARD'S IN THE HOSPITAL, DIDN'T GET ANY of MY LETTERS YET! - ELEANOR'S BEEN SICK, too.

MARCH 26

1939 10:30 - Sunday - It doesn't seem possible that the day can be over (We didn't eat breakfast till 11:00) Marg + I made it - Eunice + Marg ate over here for dinner - I'm still happy, learned my oration. I kept thinking about how much I liked the way I was kissed last night! 

1940 Tues. Got back about 10:30 this morning. - Mother + Bill met me at the train... I managed to get some sleep this time! - ... I got cleaned up a little, put on my suit + went out to school - swell to see the kids again! - Virginia came over -

1941 10:30 EXAMPLE "A" - Excellent case of frazzled nerves - was on knife edge all day - very stupid - I've got to just hang on - It is hell to try  + accomplish anything in this condition however. - Heard from Kathleen

1942 Thurs Quite successful evening. We did have fun (except it snowed!) - We went to the Dakota - ate popcorn; went to Deeky's Diner; painted "Ole" - it was a little wearing. (It was Betty Blast nite!)

1943 FRI Again, the "issue" arose and was clarified... This time a little more rationally, a little more clearly. I may not be entertained so royally in the future as I have been, but I couldn't do otherwise, I felt. We had dinner (SWELL) at the Rogers. Went to his apt.

MARCH 25

1939 6:30 SAT (6 of us stayed over at Vercoe's tonight) - I started at 9:00 + worked almost steadily all day for the banquet. Ray came out to school after me about 6:45. We went to a show about 9:30 - (I took my p.j.'s with me!) He treated me just perfectly. I was a little surprised + more than somewhat thrilled over at V's we all talked in our p.j.'s in front of the fireplace till 6:00 Sun.

1940 Mon. Coming home. Miss Farley is here - some company... My arm aches from carrying pkg's around all afternoon in M. Field's... Bought knock out of white silk jersey formal, black jersey jacket, sweater, etc... Left Eleanor with Bob it was keen seeing her... Went Art Institute this aft

1941 ANOTHER BURNER/// GOD, GIVE ME STRENGTH TO GO THROUGH THIS - /// TONIGHT I HAD CHAMPAGNE - TASTES SOMETHING LIKE APPLE CIDER VINEGAR... TOMMY WASN'T TOO BAD - HE HAS SUCH BLACK EYES; BUT HE'S TOO MUCH OF A HELLER FOR ME - DD HOW LITTLE HIS KISSES AFFECTED ME... IN FACT, I DON'T THINK I CARE TO SEE HIM ANY MORE - I FEEL GOOD

1942 Wed Creative writing - I came right home - Damn. - Hoped someone might perchance walk home w/ me -

1943 THURS Jarv. called up and we went out. I took us to "Casablanca" It was his birthday! (25) We walked home Riverside Way and, inevitably, the issue arose. But was properly + definitely clarified. We talked and talked. I feel much better.

MARCH 24

1939 Friday 11:30 Made 102 programs for F. Banquet. Ray helped me all evening. Then we went for a ride - Picked up Phil + Whitie - Ray is really swell

1940 Sun Easter - really perfect... wore my suit for the first time... Fashionable 4th Pres. Church - white orchids. Eleanor + I ate dinner at Jacques - it was the loveliest place I've ever been - candles, flowers, oil paintings - We had cocktails tat nearly submerged us. Evening K.D's - Claire de Lune

1941 DEAR GOD, WHAT A DAY - IF THE NEXT 8 DAYS ARE LIKE THIS; I DOUBT IF I CAN - OH HEM OF COURSE I CAN! - I'VE GOT AS MUCH GUTS AS ANYONE! - FREDDIE PICKED ME UP - NO EXPLANATION HE WAS VERY SWEET - "HOPED THEY'D BE HAPPY" HE REMINDS ME A GREAT DEAL OF WYN STRAFF BOB REES CAUGHT ME CRYING - HE WAS SO SWEET

1942

1943 WED 11:20 I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO KEEP ME RILLY busy TODAY... FELT RATHER dull, ANYHOW. MRS. S. SENT ME OUT THIS MORNING... I LIKE HER BETTER. HERMAN CALLED. - LUNCH TOMORROW. SWELL LETTER FROM Mother. MR. HAIRE PAID MY $35 BUCKS TO Employment Directors. (I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME, now)

MARCH 23

1939 10:30 Mary stayed + stayed + I was so sleepy! Got the material for the Football banquet Sat Night. I only wish I were going to the darn thing! I felt awful this aft. Eleanor is out w/ Ed.

1940 Sat. Who'd have thought that Mary + I would see each other in Chicago a yr ago? - She came over this morning... I met Eleanor + Dorothy for lunch at Field's - Then we went to "The Man Who Came to Dinner" - which was uproarious. v. dirty, v. funny! - It would have been enough, but Eleanor insisted we go out again to-night. It is terribly cold!

1941 11:45 - Wish I could live today over again - Folks came down (with Sari) + we went to Sioux City. A. Marg + E. Dillon were both ill. They looked awful. (It must make mother feel bad)... We had gardenias. - I'm enthralled with Kitty Foyle - God, what guts - It was like Jo. - Tomorrow REALITY.

1942 MON Met Margie down town this noon for lunch... She's happy but I don't envy her in the slightest - 

1943 TUES MICKEY INFLUENCED ME TO GO TO A MOVIE AT WHICH WE BOTH wept VIOLENTLY AND ENJOYED COMPLETELY... I RE-WROTE AN Editorial TODAY WITH MRS. DAHL... SHE ISN'T BAD, BUT I'M GLAD I'M NOT WORKING WITH HER... MR. Haire EMBARRASSED ME COMPLETELY AT THE OFFICE MEETING TODAY. I BLUSHED FURIOUSLY...

MARCH 22

1939 11:10 Lucky I - my oration + I are going to Aberdeen - I'm quite sure I've certainly sweat blood over that thing I read it to better do my writing in the daytime - I fouled away the whole afternoon. Ray S. took me for a ride + we looked at the falls. It was so swell out - After the lecture to night, Stan, Carp, Jake + I ate ice cream

1940 Fri Here I am sleeping with Eleanor in Chicago! - it is big + dirty + strong... I think I like it... We went out to Karls for dinner tonight... I wish I hadn't been so tired... Connie "entertained" me this aft. I got cleaned up this morning, we met E. for lunch. 

1941 10:55 Well, possibly I can try a little vicarious living in "Kitty Foyle" - God knows I need something to get away from myself  Practice Practice Practice - God, I wish those damn things were over! ----

1942 11:00 O-H-H-H THAT I HAD BEEN ANNIHILATED AT BIRTH! - WHY DID I SUGGEST OUR GOING DOWN TO THE HEN. OF COURSE LEONARD + R.H. # CAME IN AS I KNEW THEY WOULD. PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS - I'M SO DUMB - AND AFTER WEDNESDAY TOO

1943 12:00 and Peggy isn't home yet. I should be in bed, asleep, but I wrote to Leonard, Eleanor + Don... today wasn't bad. I think I'll like Mrs. Stotes. (Migosh, she looks like me) I rewrote. Was to have gone out in the Market. I want to make good.

MARCH 21

1939 11:00 We heard Marjorie Hellis tonight Swell Philosophy - I re-wrote my oration today from 9:00 - 4:00 It's really no child's play -

1940 Thurs Who should be dashing on the train the last minute but Bill P. - ! - I nearly got off - Bob + Leonard were down to see me off - They sent me a corsage, too... I love them both - Bill + I had lots of fun exchanging opinions of each other.

1941 10:20 Nazi Bombers over England again. Will there ever be any place for the world? Or for me? - Utterly demoralized today - No good at all. Heard from Eleanor + Jo - they are wonderful

1942 12:45 PLAYING 2ND FIDDLE TO A TERM PAPER! DIDN'T TAKE TO THE IDEA TOO WELL... BUT WHAT CAN A WOMAN DO? D.J. + I ATE Down TOWN... WENT OUT TO THE AIRPORT + WATCHED ARMY PLANES COME IN + TAKE OFF... CHROME WINGS IN A BLAZE - BLUE SKY - 50 PLANES...

1943 11:30 (GEE, AND I WAS GOING TO BE IN BED BY 10:00!) TODAY WAS NICE and COMFORTABLE. WHILE PEG WAS IN CHURCH, I WROTE A LONG LETTER HOME (ONE TO Leonard, LATER) WE ATE AT Childs DOWN THE WAY. WENT TO SEE Lois Cowan - AND DONNA. I'VE WASHED MY HAIR, FIXED MY NAILS, DREAD TOMORROW A LITTLE... I'M SCARED. I WANT SO very MUCH TO DO MY BEST!

MARCH 20

1939 Mon 10:00 I don't know if that "4:30" was worth it... I felt marvelous - all morning, but plenty awful afterward I just made up my mind to ask Tommy for R. Date - Viv was ahead of me.

1940 Wed 2:55 (I hope the $10 is worth this) I'm such a goon. I always think I can do things in 10 minutes - Well it took me all day. - Working every minute! Tomorrow I won't be sleeping here.

1941 Hmm whom should I see but Fred + Mary E. as I was coming home from play practice - Damn! - I never thought he'd go for a peroxide blonde.

1942 FRI Amazingly ambitious all day, but came home from school with a nasty disposition. (Entirely uncalled for) Baby, it's just as well you didn't go out tonight - It's 12 -

1943 SAT 12:30 MIGOSH BUT I'M TIRED... WORE MYSELF OUT, SHOPPING TODAY. (DOESN'T look LIKE I GOT MUCH, BUT I CERTAINLY SPENT A LOT OF MONEY) I WISH I HADN'T HAD TO GO OUT TONIGHT, BUT COULD HAVE STAYED HOME + gotten ORGANIZED... I WANTED IT TO BE NICE + FUN tonight FOR JARV. UNFORTUNATELY HE WAS DISTINCTLY FRUSTRATED!

MARCH 19

1939 Sunday 4:30 I rewrote my oration + wrote the script for the fashion show + studied + went to church - This is the latest I've been up for some time.

1940 Tues I could practically hear my nerves gingling up + down by the time I got through typing tonight. And I had felt so swell - Wild Moonlight geese flying - SPRING! 

1941 11:55 Wed. Wish I were "High on a Windy Hill"! and not so utterly nauseated with myself! Why do I insist on eating... Bridge Club at Baldwins... Guess what - won 1st prize - TOMORROW + TOMORROW E. sent a telegram

1942 THURS Bob Snook, Bob Gable + I did Columbus for the Press Club dinner... (Don't think they appreciated us fully!) Bought a Defense Bond + a Dickey - ha. It's snowing. D.J. + I went to All That Money Can Buy!

1943 FRI 3:00 EVE of ST. MARK - [I WAS THE girl. LEONARD the boy - IT WAS MORE THAN JUST A beautiful, FINE PLAY...] WE WENT TO THE Village Vanguard - CLASSY JOINT (.80 FOR A SLENDER SANDWICH)... SAW FIFI BROWN... MET MINA Berenstam FOR LUNCH... SHE IS lovely. HERMAN CAME THROUGH LIKE THE REST - (HOW CAN THEY MISTAKE ME?-) WITH A PROPOSITION!

MARCH 18

1939 10:55 It's 12 days till the Province meet at Aberdeen. 12 days to get my oration organized + in my head - I read what I wrote last night to Hugo. He was swell. Helped me a lot

1940 1:15 Mon More complications! Why didn't I stay home to work? Jake thinks I'm "leading Howard on" - He seems to think H. is terribly serious. We came home

1941 11:45 Tues. - Oh would that I could stay in bed tomorrow! - Wearing day. - The kids are getting too familiar... The school board must not have discovered I'm a farce -

1942 WED Creative Writing. Bill read. We had quite a disagreement over Art + the standards by which it is to be judged. Wilber kills me! Should have come right home, but Peg came after me.

1943 12:30 THURS - I'M STARTING Monday WITH HAIRE PUBLICATIONS. ASSISTANT TO EDITOR OF"CHILDREN'S APPAREL", A TRADE JOURNAL - AND AT $35 A WEEK. GOSH, I HOPE I'M WORTH IT... I HAD LUNCH WITH HERMAN... TRIED TO SEE MR. Conover (WHO WANTS TO SEE me!) SAW MISS Zach AT Mlle. WHO IS A SWELL GAL - WHO SAYS SHE EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT ME WHEN THEY NEEDED AN "INTERIOR" Editor!

MARCH 17

1939 3:30 - and Eleanor isn't in yet... I've been up writing my oration which seems very unimportant right now. Mother + Dad went to see me in the play at school tonight + she was talking to someone on the phone when they went. I wish she'd get home. She didn't leave a note or anything + who she's been with, we don't know! - 3:45 and Thank God she's back.

The plays were very successful I have a new flame. Ray P. walked through the tunnel with me today.

1940 Sunday. Worked on Prix from 10-6 - Bill Clements called... My coy scheme backfired on me... I was going to be the one who kept him going, warned as I was! - Now, I didn't have a chance - not a prayer. What a mess. I don't think I should date him.

1941 That is Tristan + Isolde. I'm sure - poignant - unfulfilled... (Will it always be that way?) - I wish the next 3 weeks were over - + well done... I know everything will be okay. If it isn't it's my fault + no one else's - (Fred doesn't sleep nights)

1942 TUES GEE, and I was going to stay home tonight. Stan called. Phooey - I thought it was L, or wouldn't have said yes. I don't understand him at all. He isn't nearly as sweet as he was.

1943 THANK YOU, GOD, FOR WHAT HAPPENED TODAY LEONARD IS STATIONED IN Alabama, I WON ANOTHER Mlle CONTEST [$100 BOND + THE DRESS] AND MR. Krikorian WROTE ME A SWEET + REDEEMING LETTER. I FEEL BETTER. Golly I NEEDED SOMETHING GOOD LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN! Maybe I'll studio with Mr. Worman

MARCH 16

1939 11:40 Thurs I think maybe I'm getting started not that I accomplished anything. But Ray + Wyman hekkled me to pieces this aft. Why is it everyone likes to tease me? I'm getting sick of it - P. Practice tonight then after b. ball game at S.F.C. Clara + I went over to Tommy's for M. Milks

1940 Sat 12:30 Mary Anne came today on her way to the Art Institute - She is exactly the same. But with more definite, stronger purpose. I'll probably see her in Chicago...

1941 10:45 Sun night + as usual I"m torn between the idea of working + bed. - So I'm going to compromise + work in bed (I hope!) - Well, my appetite was certainly not affected by my "broken heart" - tsk tsk - Waited all day for Frederic. - Of course, he didn't materialize.

1942 MON Yes, I was tired today... Just about went to sleep posing for sketch class... Peg and I went to Sullivans Travels... Out to Hen... talked...

1943 TUES 12:40 LOW EBB: MR. KRIKORIAN "LET ME KNOW" - in the MAIL, THE COWARD... I SHOULDN'T BE SO disappointed, BUT I AM. MISS GIBBONS WAS ALSO AT A FASHION MEETING WHEN I ARRIVED AT 9:30 THIS MORNING. I CHECKED BACK WITH HAUSNER + LUCY + THEN CAME HOME - WET + DEPRESSED. CLEANED UP THE Room - sent in McCann-Erikson application + played bridge

MARCH 15

1939 10:50 I feel swell except for my back (+ my arm where Wyman hit me). If I don't get going pretty darn quick it's going to be pretty bad

1940 3:00 Friday Was to have been a civic Music C. gal got a cold - So Donna + I (after cok-ing at Palace) got Bob + Leonard + went over to her house for coffee... I like Leonard altogether too much

1941 Sat - It's beginning to hurt, now. My pride more than anything else I guess. I suppose I can stand it. Mary went to Chicago for her clothes. I half hoped Fred would call. I'd like to talk with him just once - "Intermezzo" - Got receipt for $135.50

1942 SUN GEE, this is confusing!... We made the mistake of going out to school tonight. The "clandestine" nature of the situation came home to Leonard for the fist time... I was terribly inarticulate... To church with Mother - Took folks to dinner.

1943 MON PAID ONLY A QUARTER OF MY TAX (50!) AND KILLED MY PORE, LAME BACK + CHARLIE HORSED LEG WALKING SOME MORE... MRS. WOLFE (I SAW HER) SAYS I'M TOO FAT FOR HER! I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO SHOW HER MY PICTURES, dammit. PEG + I HAD OUR hair FIXED - BY RUDOLF - WHO gratifying LIKED ME. I'M TIRED...

MARCH 14

1939 11:15 - Girls were over for "pot-luck supper" Decided that 10 years from now we'd all be old maids I have a crick in my back.

1940 12:10 Marg + I went to C.J.'s "Night M.V." I 'd have given a lot to have played in it. I've always wanted to wear horn rims. Bob E. was good. We heard from E. today. Really I'm scared to go; but still I wouldn't miss it!

1941 12:00 Hope I can really sleep - feel a mess, rather... Eleanor was right once more. I should have let well enough alone - Betty says Fred + M.E. are going to be married practically right away. I hope they will be very happy. Frederic deserves it certainly.

1942 SAT LA DE DA... and he wants to see me tomorrow night, too! (Hope he still feels that way then!) - We went over to Jean's - talked - coffee + cookies. She brought us home. Darling Gel. I payed my income tax today - And the Dentist. Didn't buy a damn thing new. Wish I had! 

1943 SUN HERMAN AND THE DAY TURNED OUT NICELY. HE GAVE ME A GOLD BRACELET; TOLD ME HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME! I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED TO HAVE KEPT THINGS LESS INVOLVED. BUT AT LEAST IT'S BEEN SETTLED. HE WAS SWELL ABOUT EVERYTHING. UNDERSTOOD. HE KNOWS NOW, I'M IN LOVE - NOT WITH HIM. I MISSED Leonard SO HARD IT HURT - WISHED IT WERE HE WITH ME. HE TOOK ME TO DINNER - I WAS RAVENOUS (we WALKED ABOUT 8 miles)

MARCH 13

1939 10:40 Monday Woke up feeling swell... I got even with Wyman, but I guess it wasn't worth it. He asked someone else to the J.S. Fooled all day.

1940 Wed 12:45 - Acc. depressing job of filling out information for Placement Bureau today. I wonder if I'll be teaching next year... Hugo still wants me to take up that Plymouth deal...

1941 10:30 LE MARS BOYS WON THEIR FIRST ROUND IN THE DISTRICT WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SEEN IT... JUMPY... HAD A FREE NIGHT... DAMNED IF I CAN STILL SIT WHEN I HAVE THE CHANCE. I FEEL FAT... WONDER WHEN (AND IF) I'LL EVER SEE FREDDIE AGAIN... AND WHAT HE'LL SAY... ? ? ?  DIDN'T DO MUCH TEACHING TODAY... IN FACT, NOT MUCH OF ANYTHING - WHY START NOW?

1942 Fri Was a good gal + stayed home tonight, although Leonard did call... Gee, the more "reassured" I get - the more scared I am... Dumb, ain't I... How will it all work out? - Washed my hair, me + clothes. Surprisingly wasn't too tired today -

1943 SAT AFTER A MILDLY frustrating MORNING [MY GARTER BROKE; IT TURNED COLD, SNOWED and RAINED VIOLENTLY] I RESTED, WASHED OUT SOME STUFF, AND JARV CAME OVER THIS AFT. - WE TALKED FOR HOURS - HE IS MORE INTELLIGENT THAN I THOUGHT. THE FORMAL DANCE IS THE 29TH, PROBABLY - I HOPE IT WILL BE. JARV HAS BEEN NICE TO ME + I LIKE HIM.

MARCH 12

1939 2:00 And I was going to accomplish so much! Virginia, Marguerite, Sari + I were over to "'s this afternoon + from then on - got stalled at 1:00 on Minn.

1940 Tues 11:30 Still blizzard - I think maybe I'm getting a few things done. - slowly, vaguely. M. Tolles (who is going to marry an Army officer in Waska next summer) lined up a deal to do some political cartoons for Gamble... That ten dollars will be handy next week - which is the only reason I'd do it.

1941 11:45 Nuts - I think I'm getting a cold! - "All's Fair" looked good... Darling gels had their lines learned - Day intermittently good + bad... hell... Guess I'm getting up on my nerve... I've got to hold on for 3 weeks more! (after this) - Mrs. Reeves passed on a few compliments which made me feel b-   saw FRED... wonder what he thinks -

1942 Thurs Gee, we went to the concert  - I spent the whole time thinking about Leonard - We did fave fun (+beer) afterward. Sometimes Emil makes me a little sick  - [He adds 2 + 1 + gets 4; and is right]

1943 FRI 2:00 SAW "LADY IN THE DARK" TONIGHT. I WASN'T AS THRILLED AS I HAD ANTICIPATED, I'M afraid. WE ATE SANDWICHES AND I LISTENED TO HERMAN TALK AFTERWARD... I WISH I COULD ENJOY A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM; EVIDENTLY IT WON'T BE POSSIBLE, HOWEVER...

MARCH 11

1939 11:30 The Day Dumb. All I can ever manage to get done on a Saturday is to get the house + myself clean... I'm alone... 

1940 Monday Blizzard! - disgustin' - It seems, even when I actually direct - that I get so little accomplished I rather think Howard knows what I did.

1941 JOURNAL OF "THE OTHER WOMAN"... GUESS WHAT MET MARY ELIZABETH; CONFIDENTIALLY, SHE LOOKED LIKE A MESS... HATE TO BE CLASSED WITH HER... TOOO MUCH MAKE-UP... I DIDN'T SAY BOO... SHE PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS AWED! - GOD, CLASSES WERE GRIM... HAD A LETTER FROM MOTHER... WISH I'D HEAR FROM E. - I DREAMED LAST NIGHT SHE WAS PREGNANT! - YE GODS!

1942 Wed Wilber + Bill + Shirley came over after class for coffee + some of the cake left from yestiddy... It was Lefty's birthday. I brought ice-cream cones for sketch class. Donna wants to go to Sioux City - ?

1943 2:00 OH GOD - I HATE MYSELF... I SHOULD THINK HE'D HAVE NOTICED THE TORCH IN MY HAND! - AND WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE FERRY OVER TO Staten Island. "CONDITIONS" WERE TOO good. JARV. ASKED ME TO THE Graduation DANCE. WELL MR. CONOVER WAS VERY NICE. I DON'T DON'T EXACTLY WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT ME. YET. SENT ME OVER TO Sea Leg Gibbons.

MARCH 10

1939 11:50 Friday Eleanor + I went to a show tonight. Today I felt much more suicidal than ordinary... I've got to get over this nonsense pretty quick!

1940 Sunday 11:45 - Leonard took me to Grapes of Wrath tonight - I wonder if he has "figured me out yet"... I certainly can't him - It was very different from the other date I had with him... Howard also wanted to do something tonight. Peggy's father died.

1941 I CAN ALWAYS BEAR ALMOST ANYTHING (CASTING THE MELODRAMA) WHEN A DAY IS LIKE THIS ONE... SUNSHINE... WIND... COOL; BUT DEFINITELY SPRING! - TONIGHT IS FULL MOON - CLEAR SKY... BRIGHT STARS - ALL'S FAIR WILL BE FAIRLY DECENT, I THINK; BUT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT LITTLE NELL! - OH HELL... I'M ETERNALLY AMAZED ABOUT HOW I MANAGE TO TEACH WITH NO PREP.

1942 Tues Gee, what a day! - Our party went off sooper - daffodils, etchings It all in spite of the fact that my frosting was a flop... Of course, it rained a little, too. Those sweet kids (D.J., Bob, Wilber + Peg) helped w/ dishes. Went roller skating tonight - And danced afterwards! tsk tsk

1943 1:00 WELL, I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW WITH A CERTAIN MR. HARRY Conover... MAY BE NOTHING WILL PAN OUT; BUT IT IS ALL AN experience, ANYHOW. ALL I DID WAS WAIT WITH COW-LIKE PATIENCE IN OFFICES ALL DAY - MR. COOPER WAS NICE TO ME. I SAW TED. GOT A LETTER FROM Leonard - ANOTHER VERSE from HERMAN

MARCH 9

1939 10:40 I walked 8 miles today. Washed dishes for Mother's luncheon played ping pong w/ R. Seeley

1940 Sat 2:00 Marie + I went to "Balalaika" I love Marie a great deal I think, but I can't quite understand her - nor she me - She doesn't like Robert Benchley!

1941 SUN 10:30 - AS GREY + GRIM AS YESTERDAY WAS BRIGHT + BEAUTIFUL... I'VE BEEN LYING WRAPPED UP IN A BLANKET... WATCHING THE CLOUDS PASS IN FRONT OF THE MOON... AND THINKING... ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS... ABOUT HOW I COULD STAND A STRONGER BACKBONE (BOTH FIGURATIVELY + ACTUALLY) AND SOME MORE SELF RESPECT... ABOUT EASTER... LEONARD... BOB... SCHOOL (WROTE TO GR + PAID $135.50) FREDERIC + M. ELIZ.

1942 Mon Peggy Bell was over tonight... Irrepressible told me all about her love life while I baked a cake. We heard from Eleanor. It doesn't sound bad at all at all.

1943 TUES 1:30 - I'M SO DARN GLAD I WENT TO SEE MR. Krikorian; ALTHOUGH HE'D PRETTY WELL DECIDED ON A FELLA, I KNOW I UPSET HIM acutely. [I HOPE IT WON'T BE TOO LONG BEFORE I KNOW; I CAN'T stand IT] SAW MR. GEORGE BAKER AT THE Art Center WHO WAS SWELL TO ME... SAW 2 DOUBLE FEATURES! Beau Jeste AND TONIGHT MICKEY + I WENT TO FOREIGN Correspondent

MARCH 8

1939 10:15 And Cr. Wr. Class again and me with nothing to hand in - I've got to start "accomplishing" 100 miles per (in more ways than one!)

1940 2:00 Friday Began re-doing "Dummy" some job! - Worked out a cover which I think is pretty good if Leonard will only do it now - It was Bob's birthday - We 3 felt so silly tonight

1941 SENT BOB A TELEGRAM... FOOLED AROUND DOWNTOWN (TSK TSK IN SLACKS) LOOKED AT A $50 WATCH - I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ONE NICE THING TO SHOW FOR A YEAR'S WORK - CAST THE ALL'SED FAIR - LOOKS FAIRLY GOOD (??) WISH THE OTHERS WERE ON THE WAY, TOO. (DAMMIT). ABOUT READY TO TRY "T.M.", CAN'T FIND THE BOOK - 

1942 Oh happy Day - kidded myself into writing letters all day - 7! Walked down, mailed them, had given up hope by 7:15 + bang he called. Later said he'd spent half an hour contemplating the phone... After going to the Granada, walking home, having coke, etc. talked even more. Said I "never needed" to "worry" around him - Gee.

1943 12:00 WELL, I WAS A COWARD TODAY; STAYED HOME and WASHED CLOTHES, ME, MY HAIR; CLEANED + STRAIGHTENED UP IN GENERAL. I CALLED MR. Krikorian HAS FELLAS AVAILABLE, damn... HEARD FROM Leonard, THANK GOODNESS. HE IS DOING WELL, WILL GET NO POST-INDUCTION furlough.

MARCH 7

1939 10:55 It seems as though Tuesdays are always cold... Went to a class finished column (What fellas think of wimmin's clothes) + Read Shakespeare

1940 Thurs 12:15 - I played bridge over at Marg's tonight (They've moved back to 21st again) It was really a relief to be around girls again. Took stuff down to E's.

1941 IS THIS ME OR SOMEONE ELSE STRUGGLING AROUND INSIDE MY SKIN... I WOULDN'T KNOW - TORE (LITERALLY) ALL DAY... TRYOUTS... HOWARDSON TOURNEMENT THAT DAMN WUMKES... SOMEDAY I'M GOING TO -

1942 Sat Hell, here I've wasted practically a whole day mooning like an adolescent... I wish I'd get over it. So what - he didn't call you -You'll live! - Met Jean G. for lunch. Saw D.J. this afternoon. - She's sweet.

1943 SUN 1:45 AND I THOUGHT THIS AFFAIR WOULD BE "Uncomplicated" MIGOSH - BUT HE IS NICE - AND I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO MESS UP ANYTHING FOR HIM... WE WENT M. of MA. AND THEN TO Cafe Society Downtown WHICH WAS NO DISAPPOINTMENT. OH + WE WENT TO DINNER, TOO. - AT A NICE PLACE... I HATE HAVING ALL THAT MONEY SPENT ON ME -

MARCH 6

1939 10:40 This can't be me because I feel so well - Someone gently shoved me a few inches forward in the hall I turned around + he walked down the stairs without even looking my way - (It must have been my frilly fresh white blouse) Later I interviewed him for the Mirror... I'm not so afraid of him any more - The Plays even off swell - I'm going to do the rations for the F.B. Banquet again 25th - It would save a lot of problems if I got a date.

1940 Wed. I have suddenly realized it's only 2 weeks until vacation + Chicago (supposedly!) How can I get everything done?

1941 Thursday - And I suddenly realize (like hell - I've been counting the days) its 4 weeks until Easter Vacation + Chicago. Darn, I'd still like to put on the Terrible Mech, too. - I'd have to re-write THAT - worked 8:00-6:30. 8:11:00.

1942 Friday! Civic Music. All I did was sit there + think about Leonard, dammit! Did the patterns over for R.N. Phillips nursery... I'd better put in a hill. We printed Etchings. - Spring today.

1943 1:00 SAT. (I WONDER where LEONARD IS - IF HE'S BEEN ASSIGNED TO A BASE YET)... FIRST BLOW; I WAS READY TO ACCEPT Scholastic, BUT THEY DON'T WANT ME UNTIL MAY 16! - HELL, I WANTED TO START WORK Monday... IT WAS A WET, miserable, HORRIBLE DAY... DIDN'T ANTICIPATE ENJOYING MYSELF, BUT I DID. Jarv + I WENT TO DINNER + a show.

MARCH 5

1939 10:50 I hope I never spend another Sunday like this again! - After this I'm going to Church + do something. I wasted the whole day... the only job I did was washing dishes + my hair - I felt pretty awful about spending another dateless Sunday Evening  - But I'm a fool to mope about it!

1940 Tues - I'm practically incoherent with fatigue - Everyone was mean today - I seem to inspire it - Leonard is the only one.

1941 11:45 I WISH HE WERE AROUND TO WEEP ON THIS YEAR - IF ONLY METAPHORICALLY... LAST NIGHT I WORKED TILL 2:00... TONIGHT I TYPED PART OF IT AFTER DINNER - UNTIL 10:30 + I GOT SCARED BEING IN THE BUILDING ALONE - I MISS MY WALKS - I'M NOIVUS AND PEOPLE ANNOY ME - MOSTLY BLANCHE -

1942 12:00 After all this time Peggy Bell + I finally got together again. She is irrepressible as ever... Told me amazing tale about Bev. Carlson! - My slip kept showing all day. Straightened up around.

1943 12:30 Anyhow, I got my ration book and my check cashed (otherwise I wasted today) Met Peggy after her lesson. We ate at the Automat, dessert at a Petrified Forest Drug Store where the disturbing soda jerk argued with us. Then a horrible man scared me in the subway. Felt neurotic all evening. Stopped at Saint Patrick for Leonard.

MARCH 4

1939 1:45 Talked + talked after playing bridge. Marguerite + I certainly agree... I feel awful. I ate all day.

1940 Monday 12:00 Inevitably - I had a sneaking suspicion there was another quizz due - pretty soon! - 20th!

1941 9:45 Well, I guess I'll have to really start writing... this is the last thing I can think of "to do" - I hope it can produce... It will be just 4 weeks from tonight... (I shudder to think what must take place before then)

1942 11:00 Well, I baffled them I guess. It would have been much more fun if Kraus hadn't let it out of the bag. I wonder what Leonard thought of White Night? I went to looks with Bill, Emil, Wilbur, John K -

1943 12:45 I DIDN'T EVEN MIND GETTING UP THIS MORNING! AND I WAS THERE BEFORE "HERMAN" (HE BOUGHT THE TICKETS FOR NEXT Friday! - joy) FINISHED MY LAY-OUTS, WORKED UNTIL SIX - LIKE THEIR ART dept. HERMAN BOUGHT ME A DRINK ACROSS THE STREET. (JARV CALLED yesterday) DATE W/ H FOR SUNDAY. Mickey AND I SAW SHADOW OF A DOUBT... I HOPE MR. KRIKORIAN CALLS tomorrow!

MARCH 2 and MARCH 3